Only One (Reed Brothers)(13)

“Maybe I’m not.”

“It’s going to hurt like hell when she’s gone,” he tells me.

“No, it won’t.”

“Yes, it will.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me. It’ll devastate you.”

“No.” Just that one word. That’s all I have left.

“You need to forgive her.” He tips my face up again, but his hands are gentle, and so are his eyes. “You need to let her forgive herself. You’ll regret it if you don’t take this time with her.”

“I don’t remember you being such a great son, you know.”

He chuckles. “You’re right. I was awful. And if I had that one moment…” He shakes his head.

“What would you do?” I glare at him. “In that one special moment. What would you do?”

“I’d be sure they know how much I love them. How grateful I am that they gave me life and that they gave me memories to cherish. I’d tell them what kind of a father I’ll be, and that I learned it by watching my dad. And I’d tell them what kind of woman I’ll marry, because I’ll look for my mom’s qualities in every woman I ever meet. I’d tell them as much as I could. Because I can’t tell them shit anymore. Not and be sure they’re listening.”

I shake my head, because I don’t know how to protest that.

“They’re gone,” he rushes to say. “But your mom is not. She’s inside, and she’s reaching out to you.” His voice goes so soft I can barely hear it. “Forgive her. It’s easy.”

I sputter. “It’s not easy.”

“It is,” he corrects. “Try it. Say it. I forgive you. See? Easy.” He grins.

“Thank you for dinner,” I say. I turn to go inside.

He suddenly grabs my hand and jerks me against him. His arm slides around my waist and he whispers in my ear. “Don’t waste what little time you have left.”

I take his face in my hands and press my lips to his, mainly because I want him to shut up, but I have another reason, too. I want to see if we still have sparks. A little zing skips up my spine, even though his lips are frozen against mine. Then he kisses me. His mouth is soft and gentle, but then it’s not. He kisses me and it’s like no other kiss I’ve ever gotten. His tongue slips tenderly into my mouth and I tentatively reach out and touch it. My heart skips and my belly clenches. But then he puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me back. I stand, rocking on my wobbly legs like a newborn colt.

“Wow,” he says.

“Yeah,” I breathe, my heart racing.

He turns me toward the house and pops my bottom. I yelp and glare at him.

“Go work on that other stuff. While you still can.” He chuckles. “Good night.”

“I don’t like you very much right now,” I call as I go up the steps.

“I like us enough for both of us.” I see him adjust his shorts and it makes me laugh.

I push open the screen door and stumble to a stop when I find Patty sitting on the couch. She smiles at me and drags a hand across her short, choppy hair. “Have fun?” she asks.

“Some of it.”

She grins. “Did he kiss you?”

I touch my fingertips to my lips and nod my head. He kissed me. God, did he kiss me.

She sets her coffee cup on the side table. “Do you want to walk to the lighthouse with me? You could tell me all about Nick and your date,” she says. “I could use some sea air.” She waits a beat. “Do you remember how we used to go there and sit at the base of it, and watch the stars? You would lay your head in my lap and we’d talk.”

She would stroke my hair and we would talk and talk and talk. Suddenly, emotion closes my throat and I can’t do more than nod. “I remember,” I choke out.

“So, do you want to go?” She moves to stand up.

“No.” I clear my throat. “No, thank you.”

“Oh.” She visibly deflates.

Have I been stupid? Have I been holding this stupid grudge when I should be doing more? “I’m going to go to bed.”

“Okay,” she says softly.

I go to my door and step inside, but at the last moment I turn back. “Patty,” I say. She turns to look at me, a wry smile on her face. “Do you think I could take a rain check? Maybe we could go to the lighthouse tomorrow?”

She nods, and I see a wet tear slide down her cheek. “Yeah, sure,” she says quietly. “Whatever you want.”

I step into my room, close my door, and lean heavily against it. I need to think about this. I need to think about what Nick said to me. Does it matter? Is it too late?

###

I wake to a thump outside my door. What was that? I toss the covers off and walk to the door. I open it and look out, and find my mother standing in front of the hallway closet. She has a towel shoved under her nose, and another lies at her feet. Is that blood?

“Mom?”

She turns to face me, still holding the towel under her nose. Her eyes are wide and fearful. She shakes her head and mutters something, but I can’t hear her.

I walk toward her. “Mom?” I say again. I reach for the towel and pull it down. It’s soaked in blood. She reaches out and puts her hand against the wall, her eyes closing. “Mom!” I scream as she crumples into a heap on the floor.