One To Watch(37)

“Oh.” Bea looked down, the reality of the situation seeping in. This wasn’t a man who genuinely liked her—this was another staged scenario of Lauren’s, a backup plan to make sure the week wouldn’t end without Bea getting her first kiss.

Well. If that was what Lauren wanted, it was Bea’s job to deliver. She forced her face into yet another smile, and readied herself for her final performance of the day.

“I guess you’d better show me how to burn some sugar!”

Luc showed Bea how to use the br?lée torch, and it really was fun to make the brittle crust and crack it gently with a spoon. The dessert was thick and sweet; they ate it sitting on the carpet in front of a roaring fire some PAs had surreptitiously built while they were baking.

“The fire, the ocean, the homemade dessert … this is a lot,” Bea observed.

“Yes, it’s a bit excessive, no? And I am French, so my tolerance for romance is very high.”

“So that’s what this is? Romance?”

“Is that what you want?”

He leaned into her, his body just inches away. Maybe he really did like her—or maybe he was acting. Maybe it didn’t make a difference.

“Luc, can I tell you a secret?” she murmured.

His voice was barely above a breath. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know what I want.”

He ran a finger along her jaw, and she nodded, yes. He kissed her softly, playfully, searchingly, and she thought of Lauren, and she thought of Asher, and she thought of Ray, and finally she leaned into him until there was nothing left to think about except Luc and the taste of sugar and cream.





EPISODE 3


“IMPRESSIONS”


(14 men left)


Shot on location in Malibu, Anaheim, and Los Angeles, California


MAIN SQUEEZE RECAP:

IS BEA SCHUMACHER THE WORST MAIN SQUEEZE EVER?


by Nichole Sessuber, vanityfair.com


When plus-size blogger Bea Schumacher was announced as the star of this season of Main Squeeze, I was over the moon: Was it possible that, after all these years, my guilty little pleasure was going to be interesting, and even—forgive me for saying it—woke?

The answer is no.

Or it might be yes.

Or it might not even matter!

Because here’s the thing: Right now, the show is bad.

Last night’s episode was one of the most painful I’ve seen—even worse than the one where they forced the racist guy and the black guy into a hot-dog-eating contest. Because while that was disgusting, it was also absolutely entertaining.

Not so, last night’s horrific adventure on the high seas, where Bea was forced to wear a bikini (at least, I assume she was forced—she certainly looked unhappy about it), endure the snide taunts of men with the emotional maturity of Lindsey Graham, fend off one man who sought to fetishize her body, and finally capitulate for some light frenching with a Frenchie who couldn’t be more obviously vying for camera time. (To be clear, ABS, I will absolutely watch whatever hot-chef Luc spin-off you decide to make; you don’t need to force Bea to make out with him to get me on board!)

The only moment of last night’s episode where Bea seemed at all happy—well, not happy, exactly, but at least like an actual person—was when she was telling off Kumal, the trainer she kicked off the show for insulting her body to her face. It was nice to see Bea stand up for herself, but the show can’t keep going back to that well. It will get too boring too quickly, and we’re not watching this show for a seminar on body image; we’re in this for the romance! For the drama! For the fantasy of it all!

But there’s nothing fantastic about what we’re seeing now. This part of the season is always a little awkward: We don’t yet know the suitors well enough to be particularly attached to any of them, so we’re dependent on our connection to the Main Squeeze to stay invested in the season. I’ve spent the last two weeks ready to stan Bea harder than I’ve ever stanned before, but even beyond the show’s terrible one-liners, she just seems stilted and uncomfortable—and frankly, it’s hard to watch, let alone root for her. Understandable? Definitely. Enjoyable? Not in a million years.

It’s not clear whether the problem is Bea’s negative attitude (as Asher contended last night) or if the entire setup of this season is simply an exercise in schadenfreude at this poor woman’s expense. But there’s one thing I’m sure of: If next week’s episode is as grim as this week’s, it will be the last one I watch this year.



“Hey guys, can I have the room for a second? I need to chat with Bea.”

Lauren’s tone was casual, but her voice definitely had a haggard edge. The various wardrobe, hair, and makeup people scurried quickly out of the room where Bea was readying for her next segment: a rundown with Johnny about the dates she’d be going on this week.

“Is everything okay?” Bea asked carefully. She wasn’t even sure what to be afraid of—was she going to be fully nude this week?—but whatever was going on, it didn’t seem good.

Lauren sat down next to Bea and exhaled deeply.

“Our ratings took a hit last night.”

Bea felt a surge of relief—she nearly burst out laughing. “Is that all?”

“Bea, this is serious. If this is just a blip, it’s no problem—but if we see a steady decline, well.”