One To Watch(28)

“Come on, Mack. We’ve all got jobs to do.”

His smile faded a bit, and he clicked the headphones into noise-canceling mode. As the lights got hot and the men all around her started talking, the sounds of the set dissolved, and Bea felt the stress of the night fade into a nocturne by Chopin.





SELECTED TRANSCRIPTS OF JOHNNY DUCEY INTERVIEWS WITH MAIN SQUEEZE SUITORS:


Season 14, Night 1


Johnny: So, what was your reaction when you saw Bea?

Ben K.: I was surprised. I don’t mind telling you I was surprised.

Johnny: Like, a good surprised?

Ben K.: Like, a very surprised.

Kumal: She seems cool.

Johnny: In what way cool?

Kumal: I don’t know, she probably learned a lot in school.

Johnny: What makes you think that?

Kumal: […]

Johnny: How do you think the night is going so far?

Brian: I think beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Johnny: … okay?

Brian: Yeah. You can’t judge a book by its cover.

Johnny: How do you think it went when you met Bea?

Sam: Dude, did you see what happened? I poked her in the side! Oh my God, I made a fool of myself on TV. My grandma’s going to laugh forever.

Johnny: Have you ever dated a plus-size woman before?

Jaime: That depends on your definition of “dated.”

Johnny: Are you worried Bea might send you home at tonight’s elimination ceremony?

Nash: [laughs]

Johnny: So, are you?

Nash: Oh, you were asking for real? I hope she does! I’ll look like a total asshole if I just leave like that other guy.

Johnny: Do you want to leave?

Nash: I don’t know, man … do you know what the travel schedule is this year? We going anywhere good?





At first, it was almost novel, peacefully listening to one of her favorite composers on live TV, knowing the spotlight was off her for just a moment while the men had their say. And as for what it was they were saying, well … that didn’t really matter, did it? If it was slightly bittersweet that all of the romance Bea experienced on the show would be concocted, then it was enormously relieving that whatever heartbreak she experienced would be too.

Say she started “dating” one of these men, jetting to exotic locales, “falling in love,” only to discover he’d called her a gluttonous pig on the first night of filming—right now, in fact, as the audience laughed. That would be fine, because she never would have had feelings for him in the first place! He’d be no different from the Internet trolls who taunted her every day, except unlike those trolls, these men would help set her up for future success. Lauren was right: The more obstacles Bea faced, the more America would root for her.

And if some tiny part of her had hoped that maybe Marin was right, that she might meet someone special tonight … well. That was gone. No matter; now it would be easier to keep things professional, to stay focused on her own success. Besides, it was an enormous comfort that none of these men could possibly hurt her as badly as Ray did.

Was he watching tonight? Curled up at this very moment on his living-room couch with Sarah, laughing along at whatever joke someone had just made that had the audience completely in stitches? What was that joke? Who even was talking? Bea was seated off to the side, so there was no way for her to see which man was speaking without turning to look—which she was strictly forbidden from doing.

She could see the first few rows of the audience, though: rail-thin Influencers giggling unkindly, whispering to one another, pointing at the various men, typing fervently on their phones. Was Lauren crazy to think that women like this could ever be on Bea’s side? Was sisterhood really so universal, or would these girls rather die than, for even one second, identify with Bea—no matter how saccharinely they praised her body positivity online?

Bea wondered if these women saw her as alien.

If these men did.

If Ray did.

When that man walked out on her earlier, had Ray felt a pang of guilt for having done the same—twice—or was he relieved to know that someone else shared the impulse?

Bea had started the night feeling so beautiful, but the men had worked to change that. And now she saw herself through Ray’s eyes—not his treasure, but his shame. The audience was laughing again. She closed her eyes and waited for Johnny to take them to commercial.



Each episode of Main Squeeze concluded with a “kiss-off ceremony,” where Bea would send home the men in whom she was no longer interested. This season, it was being underwritten by a lipstick company called Lucky Lippies—meaning that Bea would be made to put on some preselected shade of lipstick, and after she announced the name of each man she intended to keep, he’d walk up to her, present his cheek, and she would kiss it, marking him for another week together. Bea thought the whole ordeal was tackier than pairing a slide sandal with a ball gown, but her agent had told her Lucky Lippies was on the hunt for a plus-size spokesmodel, so Bea wasn’t about to piss them off by objecting.

This was the biggest cut of the season: seven men gone in one fell swoop (including the one who’d left of his own accord—or Lauren’s). When Lauren approached Bea during the final commercial break of the night with her list of proposed men to cut, Bea told her she didn’t care who stayed—that Lauren could choose to cut anyone she wanted, anyone the producers thought didn’t look right on camera.