One Summer in Paris(125)

Why? Katy wanted to tell her not to go back, but it wasn’t her business. She wasn’t qualified to advise on that. Her job was to fix the physical damage. Fixing the emotional carnage was someone else’s responsibility.

‘The police want to talk to you. Are you feeling up to it?’

‘Not really, but it’s important—so, yes, I’ll do it. This was going to be our first Christmas together.’ Sally tucked the tissue into her sleeve. ‘I had it all planned.’

The time of year seemed to amplify her distress, but Katy knew from experience that tragedy didn’t take a break for Christmas.

Someone opened the door. ‘Dr White! We need you.’

Saturday nights in the emergency department were not for the faint-hearted, although these days it wasn’t just Saturday. Every night was insane.

‘I’ll be right there.’ She glanced at the nurse who had assisted her. ‘Can you make sure Sally has all the information she needs?’ She turned back to her patient. ‘When you’re ready, there are people you can speak to. People who can help.’

‘But no one who can turn the clock back. No one who can turn him into the man I thought he was.’

Katie wondered if Sally’s worst injury was the damage to her illusions. How would she ever trust a man again?

‘I hope everything works out for you.’

She was unlikely to find out, of course. She dealt with what came through the doors and then she moved on. There was no long-term management here. Just a brief encounter with someone at what was possibly the lowest moment of their lives.

‘You’ve been very kind. Your parents must be proud.’

‘Dr White!’

Katie ground her teeth. The reality was that compassion had to be squashed into the shortest time possible. They were two doctors down and she had a queue of patients waiting for her attention. So she smiled at Sally again and slid out of the room.

Would her parents be proud if they’d witnessed the last few weeks? She wasn’t so sure. She was probably letting them down. She knew she was letting herself down.

She looked at the nurse who was hovering in the corridor. ‘Problem?’

‘The guy coughing up blood—’

‘Mr Harris?’

‘Yes. Mr Harris. His tests are back. Dr Mitford saw him and says he needs to be admitted, but there’s a bed crisis.’

When wasn’t there a bed crisis? She stood more chance of finding a unicorn in her Christmas stocking than she did finding a hospital bed. Demand exceeded supply. A patient she’d seen at the beginning of her shift was still waiting for a bed now, six hours later. Even though, because there was always a risk of hospital-acquired infection, Katie sent people home whenever she was able to do so.

‘Did you manage to contact his daughter? Is she on her way?’

‘Yes—and yes.’

‘Call me when she arrives. I’ll talk to her. He might be better off at home if there’s someone there to take care of him.’ And it would be better for his dignity. She’d seen on his notes that he was a retired CEO. Once, he’d probably commanded a room. Now he was the victim of human frailty.

No matter how busy she was, she tried to remember that landing in the emergency department was one of the most stressful moments of a person’s life. What was routine to her was often terrifying for the patient.

She’d never forgotten what it had been like for her mother being in hospital with Rosie.

She saw three more patients in quick succession and was then hit by a wave of dizziness. It had happened a few times over the past few weeks and she was starting to panic. She needed to bring her A game to work, and lately that wasn’t happening.

‘I’m going to grab a quick coffee before I keel over.’

She turned and bumped straight into her colleague.

‘Hey, Katie.’

Mike Bannister had been in her year at med school. They’d been friends ever since.

‘What are you doing at work? After what happened I thought… Are you sure you should be here?’

‘Where else would I be? I’m fine.’ She forced herself to breathe slowly, hoping Mike would move on.

He glanced over his shoulder to check no one was listening. ‘You’re stressed out and on the edge. I’m worried about you.’

‘You’re imagining things.’ She was totally stressed out. ‘I probably have low blood sugar. I’m cranky when I’m hungry and I haven’t had a break since I walked into this place six hours ago. I’m about to fix that.’

‘You’re allowed to be human, Katie.’ Mike’s gaze settled on her face. ‘What happened was nasty. Scary. No one would blame you if—’

‘Worry about the patients, not me. There are more than enough of them.’

Katie brushed past him, ignoring the pain in her shoulder and the rapid beating of her heart. She didn’t want to think about it and she certainly didn’t want to talk about it.

She’d once overheard her mother telling someone that ‘Katie is as solid as a rock’. Up until a month ago she wouldn’t have disagreed. Now, she felt anything but solid. She was falling apart and it was becoming harder and harder to hide it from her colleagues. Just the thought of going to work brought her to the edge of a panic attack, and she’d never suffered from panic attacks.