One Night With You (The Derrings #3)(12)

"No," Jane murmured, finally breaking free of his gaze and hastily turning away. "He does not." With his hot gaze burning into the back of her dress, she hastened from the room…from him, telling herself that she spoke the truth.

She had to get away. Quickly.

For Seth Rutledge, the new Earl of St. Claire, would never want anything to do with Jane.





Chapter 7


Seth stared out his bedchamber window at the dark garden below, his thoughts on the woman he had held in his arms an hour before, imagining that he could still smell the scent of her—apples on the air. The treetops rustled in the breeze, the only sound save the quiet of his breath.

"Lieutenant," Knightly voiced behind him. "I didn't expect you home this early." Seth smiled grimly. Nor had he thought to return home this early, his body still unsatisfied. He had left Fleur, with little explanation. He had none to give. To her or himself. None that made sense, in any case.

What could he have said? That mere moments alone with a woman whose name and face he did not know had ruined him for anyone else? That she had sparked something deep inside him that he thought forgotten, dead?

"Anything amiss?" Knightly inquired.

He swallowed the lump rising in his throat. Without turning to face his former midshipman, he asked, "Do you ever miss it?"

Knightly understood at once. "No, sir. I never wanted in, but at seventeen it was my only option. I'm simply glad to get out alive."

Seth thought of his father, of the commission purchased for him without his wish or inclination. It had simply been done. At twenty, he had been cast out, the useless son shipped off with no hope of survival, no expectation of returning. And he had deserved no less for what he had done to Julianne.

"For me it was… convenient," Seth murmured, nodding. And it had been convenient. Uncomplicated. Safe in an odd sort of way. The navy had been a place to hide, to avoid choices, to forget anything save rigid hierarchy. And war. And blood.

Despite everything, Seth missed it. Strangely, he preferred that existence to this one. Here, he was faced with choices again, with the freedom to make decisions and act on his wishes. The last time he had possessed such freedom he had erred grievously.

He would not err again. Would not risk wanting anything, or anyone, ever again. Jane paused in the threshold of the dining room. She had hoped at such an early hour she would have the dining room to herself. Chloris, however, sat at the table, the subtle light of morning doing nothing to soften her sister-in-law's harsh features. Blunt-nosed with wide flat cheeks and a brow that tended to wrinkle into folds, her face unfortunately resembled one of the Queen's many pugs.

Jane had spent the few hours left of the night gazing into the dark, the thoughts in her head loud and unrelenting in the oppressive silence as she brushed her fingers over lips that still tingled from Seth's kisses.

When dawn arrived, filling the room with its smoky, unearthly haze, she had finally confronted the ugly truth: she had been a fool to deny herself the chance to experience passion in Seth's arms.

One night could have sustained her through the lonely years ahead. One night would have been more than anything she'd ever had before.

Chloris glanced up, her blue eyes bright beneath tightly drawn brows. "You look pale, Jane. Are you ill?"

Jane did not miss the thread of worry in Chloris's voice and well knew the reason. If she were unwell, then Chloris would have to manage her daughters herself. That or one of the maids would have to oversee them—a chore that would certainly send the maid packing.

"I'm well," she assured her sister-in-law, not entirely convinced that she wasn't ill. The memory of last night burned in her mind churning her stomach into knots. The sight of Seth as she had last seen him, staring across a crowded room as if he wanted nothing more than to devour her whole, made her heart thud faster.

Shaking her head, she banished the image from her head. She had to forget him. Forget that kiss. A morning of conjugating French verbs with the girl would serve well in that endeavor. Chloris's harsh features softened, the folds of her forehead relaxing. "Splendid. I had planned on shopping today. I saw a bonnet in the window at…" her voice droned on as Jane busied herself lathering her favorite apple jam on her toast, the heavy scent of apples filling her nostrils, reminding her of autumn at home. Which reminded her of Seth. Blast! Is there no way to put him from my mind?

Scowling, she took a bite of crisp toast and chewed.

"… and I promised the girls you would take them to the park today." As this comment registered, her toast turned to dust on her tongue. Jane glanced at her sister-inlaw. "You promised I would?"… "They've been pestering me to take them—"

"Then perhaps you should take them," Jane suggested. "It would be much more special to them if you were to accompany them."

That much was true. A morning spent with their mother would go a long way in pacifying the unruly girls. Especially as Jane suspected their poor behavior was an attempt to gain the attention of the parents who were always too busy for them.

"Me?" Chloris blinked. "Sadly, no. I've other plans. But you must oblige me on this, Jane. I promised and the girls will be so disappointed."

"Indeed," she murmured. Chloris always had other plans. Her daughters never came first. And it fell to Jane to ease the sting of those disappointments.