One More for Christmas(105)

Samantha helped herself to water from the jug that was kept on one of the small tables. “If you tell Ella that, she’ll sign you up for online dating.”

Gayle laughed. “That sounds terrifying.”

Samantha put her glass down. “I’m glad you joined us for Christmas.”

“So am I.” And despite a few rocky moments, it was going well.

She was feeling truly hopeful for the first time since she’d arrived. She and her daughters were talking. Properly. For the first time in their lives. Providing that dialogue continued, she was optimistic about the future.

Perhaps she would contact her publishers and suggest adding a chapter to Choice Not Chance. She needed to address the fact that choices might change throughout life. Maybe add a chapter on parenting choices. Mary felt the way she did—there had to be other people who questioned the decisions they’d made. Maybe guilt was an unavoidable aspect of parenting. Guilt about the choices you’d made. Guilt about the choices you hadn’t made. Working mothers, stay-at-home mothers. Strict parents, liberal parents. Did anyone ever feel they’d got things right? And how did you ever really know? There was no way of predicting how things might have turned out if you’d made a different choice. You didn’t get to walk the same road twice. And into that mix came the child, an independent being. A unique individual.

Maybe this was a whole new book. She felt a ripple of excitement, as she always did at the advent of a new project. What would the title be?

Her thought process was disturbed by Tab bursting into the library, clutching the stuffed reindeer Gayle had given her. Bear followed, tail wagging. “Nanna! Will you buy me a dog for Christmas?”

“No, Nanna will not buy you a dog for Christmas.” Ella was hot on her heels, trying to control her daughter. “Sorry to disturb you. She’s getting thoroughly overexcited. Mary wants to talk to you with Kirstie and Brodie, Samantha. She has a few questions.”

“Not a problem.” Samantha was back in professional mode. She smiled quickly at Gayle and left the room.

“Can you watch Tab for half an hour, Mom?” Ella looked frazzled. “Michael and I need to wrap some presents.”

“Presents?” Tab bounced on the spot. “I want to wrap presents!”

“You’re going to stay with Nanna.”

“But—”

“Sometimes we negotiate, but this is not one of those times.” Ella kissed her daughter on the head. “Stay with Nanna. Be good.”

As Ella left the room and closed the door behind her, Gayle selected a book from the shelf. A few minutes of quiet time with her sweet granddaughter was exactly what she needed. “Come and sit with Nanna. We’ll read together.”

“I don’t want to read. I want to wrap presents.” Tab sprinted to the door and Gayle just caught her before she opened it.

She swept the little girl into her arms.

Her daughter had asked her to mind Tab, and that was what she was going to do.

“But I have lots of fun things I want to do with you.”

“I want to wrap presents!” Tab wriggled and squirmed until Gayle was forced to put her down or drop her.

She said the first thing that came into her head. “If you don’t want to read, then maybe we could make a card for Mommy and Daddy.”

“I don’t want to make a card.” Tab headed for the door again, and this time when Gayle grabbed her, she launched herself on the floor, screaming.

Gayle was aghast. Her sweet granddaughter had vanished and been replaced by a monster.

She tried to pick her up and received a kick in the face as a reward. “Ouch.” She rubbed her hand over her jaw. “Tab, you need to stop that.”

“I want Mommy!” Tab writhed, kicking one of the decorations from the tree. It shattered into pieces on the oak flooring.

“Tab! Calm down. You’re going to cut yourself.” She had to sweep up the remains of the decoration before one of the shards was buried in Tab or the dog. She tried picking Tab up, but the child was a moving target and surprisingly strong. She grabbed a cushion from the sofa and put it over the shattered ornament.

She was out of her depth. It had been decades since she’d handled a child of this age. Tab was usually so enthusiastic and cooperative, but today she was tired and cranky.

Ignoring her aching jaw, Gayle tried love. “You poor thing. Come and hug Nanna.”

“I want Christmas to be now.”

“Well, tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so it’s not long.”

Tab’s face crumpled. “I want Santa to come right now.”

So did Gayle. She wanted someone to come now and save her. Anyone. Santa would be fine. Never in her life had she felt more inadequate. She had no idea how to calm the child down, and she didn’t want to disturb Ella. What sort of a grandmother was she that she couldn’t occupy one almost five-year-old for thirty minutes?

“I want Mommy!”

“Mommy’s busy right now, but—”

Tab kicked her again, this time hard enough that Gayle almost lost her balance.

“Enough! Tab, behave yourself. You’re being very naughty.”

Tab burst into noisy howls that brought Ella running.

“What is happening here? Why all the noise?”

Tab’s yells grew louder. “Nanna cross. Nanna says I’m naughty.”