One Indian Girl(44)

I looked around. The last thing I wanted was anyone noticing us.

I held Debu by the shoulders.

‘Get up, please.’ I pulled him up.

I handed him one of the hand towels kept in the gym. He used it to wipe his face and compose himself.

‘Stop being the victim here, Debu. Remember how you treated me? You would not take my calls. You were rude on messages.’

He nodded his head vigorously.

‘You were, you were. . .’ I searched for the right word.

‘An asshole. Yes,’ he said.

‘Good. So now, you are doing these tears and trips. But how did you treat me earlier? Even on my last day. I still remember. You sent me a thumbs-up smiley. That’s it.’

‘I said “I will miss you” ten minutes later. You didn’t reply.’

‘You did?’

‘Yeah. Why didn’t you reply?’

‘I tossed my phone in the river.’

‘What?’ I shook my head and threw my hands up.

‘No point digging up the past.’

‘Why not? After you, I tried to be with several people. I dated other girls. Nobody connected with me like you did. Nobody had the complete package of qualities like you. You are smart, caring and humble. You are easy to live with. You kept our little apartment so well. I still remember how you gave me that surprise party when I got a promotion. Which girl does that?’

Anger filled me. I wanted to slap him. My arm tightened.

‘What? You want to slap me, right? Do it.’

I looked around. Everybody seemed busy with their own exercises. I lifted my hand and slapped him hard across his cheek.

‘Ow!’ he howled. ‘You actually slapped me?’

I flexed my fingers; my hand hurt.

‘Now you tell me all that? You couldn’t say it earlier? I gave you surprise parties, yes. But how did you react when I got my first bonus?’

‘Like a dick.’

‘Exactly. Where did your feminism go?’

‘My feminism didn’t go anywhere. My masculinity did. I told you, I felt insecure. How can my girl make three times as much as I do?’

‘So what? I work in a bank. It pays better. You chose your passion, advertising. Why did you have to compare? Wasn’t it all our money?’

My phone rang again. This was my mother.

‘Bye, Debu.’

‘Two minutes. Please.’

I cut the call.

‘What?’ I said.

‘I didn’t value you. I am sorry. I had to lose you to realize how amazing you were. Like that Passenger song. Let her go.’

I knew that song. I had cried to it. I wanted to tell him but I didn’t. I took deep breaths to not lose it again. I had to remain serene for dinner, like a good Indian bride should be after bhajans.

‘Well, too bad. Anything else? Have a safe trip back otherwise,’ I said.

‘I have a plan,’ he said.

‘Plan?’

‘Yeah. Swap the groom.’

‘What?’ I said, my hands on my hips.

‘I understand you have your entire family here. You can’t stop the wedding. But I am ready. I want to marry you right here in Goa. I will call my parents from Kolkata, maybe some close relatives and. . .’

I cut him short.

‘Hold on there. What did you say? We get married? Right here?’

‘Ask yourself, Radhika. I am your first love. Sure, I made a mistake. But I want to amend it. I want you more than anything else in the world. So I can get married now. Your parents will freak, but at least they’ll know it is not a cancelled wedding. The boy’s side, yes, they will be upset too. But I will handle it.’

‘You have really thought it all out.’

‘I had time on the long flight here. I realized I couldn’t lose you at any cost.’

‘And what makes you think I want to marry you?’

‘Because I know. Deep down, you still have feelings for me. I will keep you happy, Radhika. Do whatever you want. Just be with me.’

I sat back on the leg press machine again. I covered my face with my palms; this wasn’t happening. No, I couldn’t be facing this. This is a horrible dream, I told myself. When I remove my hands from my face, Debu will be gone.

However, he stood there, looking at me like he did years ago when we first fell in love.

‘Just agree and I will handle everything else.’

‘This is not a joke, Debu. My entire family, Brijesh’s entire family, is here.’

‘Brijesh is the person you are getting married to?’

‘Yes,’ I said.

Did I just show that I was considering Debu’s idea? Was it just about how to manage the family embarrassment now?

‘I am here for you. We can go back to how we were. Remember our tiny apartment?’

‘Of course,’ I said, my voice softening.

My phone rang again.

‘They will send search parties for me!’

‘I will wait for you. Will you think about this and let me know?’ Debu said.

‘I don’t know. My mind is not working. I better go.’

‘I am in the resort across the road. They didn’t have rooms here at the Marriott.’

‘I know,’ I said. Thank God for small mercies.