One Day in December(48)

‘I take it he’s not had any joy on the job front?’ I know the answer to the question before I ask it. Although he’s well enough now physically, emotionally he’s far from out of the woods. Of all of the injuries he could have sustained, partial hearing loss seems particularly cruel given his career.

She shakes her head. ‘I don’t know if he’s even been looking and I’m damn sure he hasn’t been in contact with any stations.’ She eats a cashew from the bag open on the table between us. ‘I’m worried, Lu. He just seems so bloody angry all the time. And he doesn’t want to do anything; it’s a massive palaver to get him to even leave the house.’ She sighs. ‘I’m worried he’s becoming a recluse or something.’

I try to choose my words carefully. ‘He’s been through a big trauma. I guess it’s his coping mechanism?’

‘But that’s just it. He isn’t coping. He’s sitting and staring at the wall and growing a fucking beard that doesn’t suit him.’

I top our glasses up from the half-empty bottle of white in the cooler beside our table. ‘You could try talking to his doctor?’

‘Jack says I’m smothering him.’ She frowns into her glass. ‘He’ll be lucky if I don’t, the way he’s going. He never calls or texts me any more. I’ve had more texts from Luke than Jack since the accident. That’s how bad it’s gotten.’

Sarah has stayed in loose contact with Luke, the good-natured Aussie who found Jack’s phone on the night of the accident.

‘Is it bad that I can’t wait to go away next week?’

I shake my head. ‘Not bad at all. You must be desperate for a break.’ Her sister’s hen party in the Canaries couldn’t have been more timely. ‘It might do Jack good to stew on things without you there to jolly him up. He’ll have to fend for himself a bit more.’

She sighs, shrugging. ‘You’re so lucky with Oscar. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a bad mood.’

I have to think really hard to remember the last time we clashed. ‘Yeah. He’s a pretty steady guy.’

‘I don’t suppose you’d call in on Jack while I’m away, would you?’ She looks at me as if I’m her last hope. ‘He might open up to you. God knows he won’t talk to me.’

What am I supposed to say? No isn’t an option. ‘Do you think he’d talk to Oscar? Maybe he’d be better with a man?’ Even before I say it I know it’s a ridiculous idea.

She shakes her head, downcast. ‘Please don’t be offended, Lu, and don’t repeat this to Oscar, but I don’t know if he and Jack are on the same wavelength. I mean, he likes him, but I think he struggles to know what to say around him sometimes.’

I don’t really know how to respond to that, so I just nod and knock back a mouthful of wine. Because I’m left with no other choice, I reach down into my Kate Spade bag and pull my diary out.

‘Okay.’ I flip it open and run my finger down next week’s page until I get to Saturday. ‘Looks like Oscar’s going shooting in the morning.’

I laugh when Sarah raises her eyebrows. ‘Don’t ask. One of those gift experience things someone gave his brother, I think. I could call round to see Jack while he’s off doing that?’

Sarah’s shoulders sag with relief. ‘I don’t know how to get through to him; I’m at the point now where everything I say pisses him off. He might not think he can get away with being so rude to you.’

My mobile goes off on the table between us, and I feel almost guilty as a loved-up image of me and Oscar in Thailand flashes up.

‘It’s just Oscar checking about dinner,’ I say, scanning his text quickly. I’m terrified of ignoring messages in case there’s anything wrong; not surprising really given what happened to Jack.

‘Very domesticated,’ Sarah says. I can’t deny it. I’ve made no headway at all with looking for somewhere else to live, partly because of what happened to Jack, but if I’m honest mostly because I’m enjoying playing house without the onerous responsibility of a mortgage or bills. It’s a ridiculous way to live, I know, but for Oscar it’s just how life has always been, and I have to admit it’s amazing to feel so safe. Every now and then I wonder if it’s too safe, too steady, but sitting here listening to Sarah, I know I should thank my lucky stars.

‘Right then.’ Sarah nods towards my phone, where a picture of the Bolognese Oscar’s just made is flashing up. ‘Looks like you need to make tracks.’

I pause to hug her tightly as I get up to leave. ‘He’ll come good again, Sar, I know he will. He’s been through a lot. Just give him time.’

‘It’s all I seem to do,’ she says, shrugging into her jacket. The weather has been getting colder for the last few days. Winter coats suddenly fill the streets of London.

‘Enjoy a bit of sunshine.’ I’m hit by an intense longing to go with her, to dance, to laugh, to be carefree and silly the way we used to in Delancey Street.

‘I’ll have a cocktail for you,’ she grins.





3 November


Jack


‘Visitor for you in the living room, Jack m’lad,’ Billy shouts through from the hallway. I’m in the bathroom, half-heartedly brushing my teeth. I know it can’t be Sarah, because she’s off sunning herself in Tenerife. And I know it’s no one from work, because, oh yeah, I don’t have a job. And I hope to God it’s not my bloody mother again, because if it is and Billy has let her in on his way out to the footie with Phil then I’m going to fucking kill him. I should have accepted their invitation to go with them. Oh, wait. They didn’t ask me. I don’t blame them, to be honest. They’ve pretty much stopped asking me to do anything any more because they already know the answer will be no. Maybe it’s Mila Kunis. She’s in luck, I’ve had a shower.