One Day Soon (One Day Soon, #1)(68)

“One day soon,” I repeated softly.

I didn’t realize I was crying until the tears dripped onto my lips.

I had been waiting.

Some days patiently.

Some days not so patiently.

To find him again.

I turned on my heel and walked back out of the house. I got into my car and pulled out of the driveway.

I drove back towards the only place I could go.

My happy life.



“What are you doing back here?” Yoss asked, looking up in surprise when I all but flew into his room. He took in my flushed cheeks and windblown hair and frowned. “What’s wrong, Imi?”

I put a hand over my thumping, thumping heart and tried to get my breathing under control. I hadn’t stopped to speak to anyone. I felt like time was running out. I couldn’t wait another moment.

I didn’t think about consequences. I didn’t think about outcomes.

I only thought about giving Yoss all the things he deserved. The things I had promised him. The things I had failed to give him.

“You’re coming home with me,” I announced.

Yoss’s frown deepened. “What are you talking about?” He put the magazine he was reading down on the table and sat up straighter.

I walked over to his bed, not bothering to take off my coat. I sat down and took his hand. I purposefully, slowly, laced our fingers together. Palm to palm.

“I want you to come and stay with me, Yoss. Right now. Tonight.”

Yoss stared at me long and hard and I couldn’t read his expression. I noted that he didn’t look particularly thrilled with the idea.

“Don’t, Imogen. Please, just don’t,” he said, almost angrily.

I squeezed his hand hard. Maybe too hard. I wasn’t being delicate. I was feeling sort of wild.

“Why can’t you?” I demanded.

Yoss’s green eyes burned. “Because you have a life, one that doesn’t include me. I won’t mess that up. I can’t. So just drop it, Imi. Because I’m not strong enough to say no to you. You need to be strong enough for both of us.” He turned his face away, towards the darkened window.

I reached out and touched his face. “I have a life, Yoss. That’s true. But it’s never been the life I wanted. Not really. I have a job. I have a house. I have friends. But it’s never felt like enough.” I gently gripped his chin and pulled his face back towards me. His cheeks were wet. It shattered me slowly.

“I have to know I did the right thing,” he implored so quietly that I had to strain to hear him. “Don’t tell me it was all for nothing.”

“I need you, Yoss,” I told him simply. Truthfully.

He shook his head. “No you don’t. You don’t need the horrible things I will bring to your life. I’m a f*cking homeless guy with hepatitis and a shot liver who will probably die at any damn moment. Why in the hell would you want anything to do with my shit life, whatever’s left of it?” His voice quavered and his hand shook in mine.

I leaned in. He met me halfway. I rested my forehead against his. “Because I love you, Yoss.”

He let out a tiny sob. It seemed wrenched from somewhere deep down inside. “You love a memory, Imogen,” he argued.

I cupped his too lean face in my hands. His skin was rough under my fingers. “You’re still my Yoss. Years haven’t changed that.”

He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. “You won’t love me when you see who I’ve become. I’m not the boy I used to be. I can’t give you sunsets and fairytales, Imogen. I’m dying. Because of horrible choices that have ruined me. I’ll only ruin you too.”

I kissed him carefully, in case he rejected me. I was prepared for him to pull away at the touch of my lips on his.

But he didn’t.

So I lingered.

As long as I was able to.

“You’re not the same. Neither of us are. But I know that I will love the man as much as I loved the boy.”

I kissed him again. More urgently. He wouldn’t open his mouth. It was a pressing of lips. Scared and unsure.

“Come home with me, Yoss.”

I saw it. The softening. The moment when my words hit him exactly where I wanted them to.

“I don’t want you to do this because you think I need someone to take care of me,” he replied roughly, swinging his legs to the side and throwing off the blankets.

“I wouldn’t dare think that,” I said seriously, with only the hint of a smile.

“I’m terrified to want this,” he whispered.

“Don’t be.”

“I shouldn’t. I made a choice once. I thought it was the right thing. What does it mean if it wasn’t?” He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me, but I answered him anyway.

“Then we’ll pave a new way together. Make new choices. The right ones this time. The ones that end up with us together.” Yoss looked at me and I knew he’d come with me.

It was written on his face.

Longing.

Desperate, heartfelt longing.

“How can I say no? I’d always do just about anything to see you looking at me like that.” He smiled and then looked down at himself. “I can’t leave wearing this though. I mean, I’m used to the cold, but this might be pushing it.”