On Dublin Street(43)

How could his mother not care about him? He was Braden Carmichael for Christ sake. “That’s unbelievable. I can’t imagine doing that to my own kid.” Not that I’d be having any.


Ellie gave me her sad eyes. “Braden looks a lot like our dad. Braden’s mum, Evelyn, really loved him. He ended things with her abruptly. Settled some money on her. When she told him she was pregnant, he said he’d look after Braden, but he didn’t want anything to do with her. When she looks at Braden, all she sees is the man who broke her heart and so she’s never been very loving. Ever. Braden spent the school years at home in Edinburgh with a distant but controlling father, and his summers flying around Europe watching his mum hook up with rich idiots who didn’t have time for kids.”


My heart ached for little boy Braden.


And I made the mistake of letting it show on my face.


“Oh, Joss…” Ellie breathed. “He’s okay, you know.”


I don’t care. I jerked back from her soft expression. “I don’t care.”


Her lips pinched together but she didn’t say anything. Instead she stood up, and when she walked by me she squeezed my shoulder.


I stared at the sink, wondering how I’d managed to do this to myself. Where had the mask gone that kept everyone at bay? Why did it keep slipping off whenever Ellie or Braden were around?


Feeling out of sorts, I grabbed my phone and headed into the bathroom to soak in the tub and drown it all out with some tunes, but as I was getting undressed, my phone rang.


Braden Calling.


I stared open-mouthed at the screen, trying to decide whether or not to answer it. I let it ring out.


It rang again.


And I just stared at it again.


Two minutes later as I sank into the tub, thinking I’d escaped, Ellie banged on the bathroom door. “Braden says pick up the phone!”


My phone rang and I closed my eyes. “Fine!” I yelled back and reached over for it. “What?” I answered.


His deep chuckle rolled over me seductively. “Hello to you too.”


“What do you want, Braden? I’m in the middle of something.”


“Ellie says you’re in the bath,” his voice was low. “Wish I was there, babe.”


I could almost feel him there. “Braden. What. Do. You. Want?”


He gave a huff of amusement. “Just thought I’d call to let you know I can’t make it tonight.”


Thank you, Jesus!


“I’m having a problem with a few suppliers on this development and it put us back a few weeks. I don’t know when I’ll be free this week, but I guarantee the moment I get some time, I’m coming to see you.”


“Braden, don’t do that.”


“After last night, there’s no denying the promise of what’s between us. I’m not backing off, so rather than coming up with a new defense – which I’m sure I’d find highly entertaining – just give in, babe. You know you’re going to eventually.”


“Have I mentioned how annoying and arrogant you are?”


“I can still smell and taste you, Jocelyn. And I’m still f*cking hard.”


My stomach flipped and I squeezed my legs together. “God, Braden…” I breathed without thinking.


“I can’t wait to hear you say that while I’m inside you. See you, babe.”


And after that parting line, he hung up.


I groaned, my head falling back against the tub.


I was so screwed.


~12~


You know on those nature shows when the cute little meerkat is strolling along on its four cute little meerkat legs to get back to her burrow where all her little meerkat politics, drama and family await her, and this big-ass eagle comes swooping overhead…?


The smart little meerkat runs for cover and waits that big-ass eagle out.


Some time passes, and the meerkat finally decides the eagle got bored and went off to scare the crap out of some other cute little meerkat. So, the meerkat crawls out from her hidey-hole to carry merrily on her way.


And just when that little meerkat thought she was home free, that big-ass eagle swoops down and catches her in his big-ass claws.


Well… I know exactly how that little meerkat felt…


***


Braden didn’t call again, or text, or email. I spent the next few days keeping busy, fighting with my manuscript, erasing chapters that an eighth grader could have written, cleaning the apartment from top to bottom, and taking advantage of the distraction that was the Edinburgh Festival with Ellie. We hit the Theatre Big Top in The Meadows to catch the show, The Lady Boys of Bangkok, and damn, were those some pretty boys, went to the Edvard Munch exhibit out in the west of the city at The Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, and we bought cheap tickets to this young, up and coming comedian who was stuck in a dingy room in the dated building of the Student Union at the university main campus. Being in the union brought back a lot of memories of Rhian, James and I hanging out in there. I tried to let myself enjoy the crowds of the festival, the tourists everywhere, the smell of coffee, and beer, and hot food everywhere. Peddlers on the sidewalk, peddling their wares—jewelry, posters, random mementos, flyers everywhere.