On Dublin Street(32)

He frowned at me. “It’s just a few hours. Surely you can squeeze us in?”


In response, Vicky pressed closer to Braden. “I’d love to have dinner, Braden.”


Braden gave her a somewhat patronizing pat on the hand. “Sorry, sweetheart, it’s just family.”


Three things happened at once. Ellie choked on her laughter, Vicky reared back like he’d slapped her, and I felt a panic attack coming on.


Feeling the fog closing in on me, I breathed through it and my confusion. “You know what.” I took a step back from them. “I totally forgot I said I’d drop off Jo’s tips to her at her apartment. Today. Now, actually.” I waved apologetically. “I gotta go. I’ll catch you later.”


And then I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.


***


“Why did you run?” Dr. Pritchard asked, her head tilted to the side like a curious bird.


I don’t know. “I don’t know.”


“You’ve mentioned Ellie’s brother, Braden, a number of times now. How does he fit into your life?”


I want him. “I guess he’s sort of a friend.” When she just stared at me, I shrugged. “We had an unconventional introduction.”


I told her everything.


“So you’re attracted to him?”


“I was.”


She nodded. “Back to my earlier question then. Why? Why did you run?”


Lady, if I knew that, would I be here? “I don’t know.”


“Was it because Braden was with another woman? Or because he implied you were family?”


“Both I guess.” I rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “I want him to stay in the box I’ve put him in.”


“The box?”


“You know, the box. It’s got a label and everything. It’s says ‘sort-of friends’. We’re sort of friends, but not really good friends. We hang out, but we don’t really know each other. I prefer it that way. I think I might have panicked at the thought that he thinks there’s more. That he’d think we were close somehow. I don’t want that.”


“Why not?”


“I just don’t.”


Seeming to sense my tone, Dr. Pritchard nodded and didn’t ask the question again. “And your feelings regarding seeing him with another woman…?”


“The only feelings I had were confusion and panic. He was with a woman he obviously has a sexual relationship and history with and he implied somehow that our friendship was deeper than what he had with her by saying what he did to her. Like I said, that’s not true. I don’t want that.”


“And that’s the only reason?”


“Yes.”


“So you don’t want a relationship with Braden? Sexual or otherwise?”


Yes. “No.”


“Let’s talk about that. We haven’t spoken about your relationship with men. You seem good at shutting people out, Joss. Has it been a while since your last relationship?”


“I’ve never been in a relationship.”


“Have you dated?”


I curled my lips as I remembered the so-called ‘wonder years’. “Do you want the sordid history? Okay, I’ll lay it out for you…”


***


“Did you get Jo her money?” Ellie asked quietly as she flopped down on the couch next to me.


I nodded, lying, and to purge my guilt I reached out for my coveted big bag of chips and offered them to her. “You want some?”


“Nah, I’m stuffed.” She relaxed back against the cushion, her eyes on the TV. “What’cha watching?”


“The Bourne Supremacy.”


“Mmm, Matt Damon.”


“Dinner okay? You feeling better?” I felt even more guilt about taking off on her like that. I was still trying to wrap my head around what exactly had happened to me in that moment.


Ellie slanted me a look. “Mum asked after you.”


That was nice. “Did you tell her I said hi?”


“Yes. And dinner was atmospheric. Braden was still pissed off at me.”


I smirked, looking back at the screen. “I’ve never seen you like that before. It was kind of bad-ass.”


“Yeah, well, Vicky’s a slut.”


I sucked in a breath, my eyes wide on her. Her normally open face was tight and stony. “You really don’t like her. Who is she?”


“She was Braden’s girlfriend for a while. I can’t believe he’s seeing her again.”


“And…?”


Realizing I meant ‘what the hell did she do to you?’ Ellie shrugged, her face crumpling. “I went over to see Adam about something one day and she was there. Naked. In his bed. He was naked too.”


I couldn’t believe it. “They cheated on Braden?”


“No,” she snorted humorlessly. “Adam fancied her, so Braden loaned her out to him.”