On Dublin Street(24)

I nodded, sliding into my seat. “Just forgot to wear a hat.”


As their conversation picked up and the tension drained from the table, I ignored Ellie’s suspicious glances and shot Braden a grateful smile.


~6~


By the end of the dinner I was a little more relaxed, although looking forward to getting home and being alone for a while. Determined not to be taken unaware again, I put back up that wall between me and my memories and tried to enjoy the Nichols’ company. It wasn’t hard. They were an easy group to like.


My plans for being alone were foiled by Braden and Ellie who were meeting up with Adam for drinks. I tried to get out of going with them but Ellie wasn’t having it. It was like she sensed I was going home to brood or something.


After bidding the Nichols a goodbye and promising Elodie I’d be back, we headed out to grab a cab to take us back to the apartment so I could pick up my purse. I only had my cell on me and was determined nobody – as in Braden – was buying me drinks tonight, but me. The less I was in this guy’s debt the better.


As the cab drew up to the apartment, a tall, lanky figure sitting on our front stoop made my chest tighten. Heart racing, I jumped out of the cab first, hurrying over to James who stood up, his duffle bag kicked at his feet. Large dark circles plagued his eyes, his face was drawn and pale, the corners of his mouth tight with pain and anger.


“Just tell me one thing. Did you encourage her to leave me?”


Taken aback by all the bristling anger directed at me, I shook my head numbly, taking a wary step toward him. “James, no.”


He pointed his finger at me, his mouth twisted with bitterness. “The two of you are so f*cked up… you had to have had a hand in this somewhere.”


“Hey.” Braden stepped in front of me, calm but intimidating as he spoke to James, “Back off.”


“Braden, it’s okay.” I gazed back at Ellie who was standing watching us wide-eyed. Eyes pleading with her I gestured at Braden. “You two go on ahead without me.”


“I don’t think so.” Braden shook his head, his eyes never straying from James.


“Please.”


“Braden.” Ellie tugged on his elbow. “Come on. Let’s give them some privacy.”


Annoyance burning in his eyes, Braden grabbed my cell out of my hand and started playing with it.


“Wha-”


He reached for my hand and curled my fingers back around the phone. “You’ve got my number now. Call if you need me. Okay?”


I nodded dumbly. As Ellie dragged her brother away, I gazed down at the phone in my hand. Was Braden looking out for me? Was he concerned? I glanced at him over my shoulder. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done something like that. It was just a little thing but…


“Joss?”


James’ impatient voice pulled me back around out of my musings. I sighed heavily, so exhausted, but knowing I needed to deal with this. “Come inside.”


Once we were settled in the sitting room with coffee, I jumped right into it. “I told Rhian I thought she was making a mistake. I would never encourage her to leave you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to her.”


James shook his head, his dark eyes bleak. “I’m sorry, Joss. About earlier. I just… I feel like I can’t breathe. It doesn’t seem real, you know.”


Feeling hopeless, I leaned over to rub his shoulder in comfort. “Maybe Rhian will change her mind.”


“I thought she was over her bullshit,” he continued like I hadn’t spoken, “It’s all because of her parents, you know that right?”


“Kind of. Not really. We don’t talk about that stuff.”


He eyed me with something akin to disbelief. “You two are supposed to be best friends, but sometimes I think you do each other more damage than good.”


“James-”


“Rhian’s mum loved Rhian’s dad. Her dad was an emotionally-stunted, alcoholic prick, but that bitch loved him more than she loved Rhian. He beat the shit out of Rhian and her mum all the time. And Rhian’s mum kept going back to him. Eventually, he took off, filed for divorce, met someone else. Rhian’s mum blamed her. Said she was a f*ck-up and that she’d end up just like her dad. For years she’s told Rhian she was just like her dad, a disaster waiting to happen. And Rhian believes it.


You know her mum attempted suicide twice? Selfish cow left Rhian to find her like that. Twice. And now Rhian thinks she’s going to do to me what her dad did to her mum. I can’t rationalize with her. She doesn’t even bloody drink. It’s all in her head! And I thought we were passed it, Joss. When things got serious ages ago we went through all this and thought we’d beat it. That’s why I proposed.” He ducked his head in an effort to hide the tears shining in his eyes. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.” He kicked the coffee table in frustration and I barely even blinked.


My mind was off with Rhian. How could I have been her best friend for four years and not know any of this? This was way more messed up than I could have guessed. Of course, Rhian didn’t know anything about my past either. I suddenly wondered if James was right. How could we possibly give each other advice when we didn’t know the first thing about each other’s demons?