Off Sides(20)

For such a large guy, he moves with fluid grace. I can't wait to see him on the ice. I also can't wait to see what he looks like without his clothes. God, I am turning into a hussy. But even as I think that about myself I am admiring the way his shirt molds to his frame. There is not much left to imagine as to the cut of his chest, arms and stomach.

We’ve only known each other a few days but there is not a doubt in my mind that I am going to give my virginity to Ryan. I just don’t know when it will be. Like Ryan, I am savoring the anticipation and I figure we will both know when we just can’t stop the momentum. When that time comes...I’ll be so ready. I’m all grown up now and I am with someone that completely rocks my world.

Ryan dries the last plate and puts it in the cupboard. Turning toward me, he leans back against the counter, his hands gripping the edge beside his hips.

"Can I ask you a favor, Danny?"

"You just cleaned my kitchen and I hate that chore more than anything so I'm in your debt. Shoot."

"Will you play your violin for me?"

Oh, why did he have to ask that?

Tears immediately well up in my eyes and I see panic fire across Ryan's face. I turn and sprint for the bathroom before he sees me break down into a sobbing mess.

I no sooner close the door and make a dash for the tissue when Ryan is knocking on the door.

"Danny...what's wrong? Please, what did I say? I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you."

Oh, his sweet and kind voice is hurting because I am hurting and the floodgates opened. I start sobbing and sink to the floor with my back against the door. I know Ryan can hear me crying but I can’t stop.

"Danny...please let me in."

I have for so long hidden my grief from others, that my first inclination is to bar him from seeing me this way. But all of a sudden, I have the most overwhelming urge to sink myself into his embrace so I can have just a bit of help to ease the pain.

I immediately jump up and open the door, falling into his arms. He wraps his arms around me and puts his lips to my hair. He is whispering words of comfort, soothing away my pain. "It's okay" and "I'm sorry" and "What can I do to make this better?"

And all I can do is cry and cry and cry.

Ryan eventually picks me up and carries me into the living room. He sits on the couch with me in his lap and continues to soothe me. I lay my head on his chest and let him and I revel in the cocoon of understanding he is giving me.

My tears eventually dry but Ryan continues stroking my hair, my arms, my face. He kisses my temple, my cheek and the corner of my mouth, then squeezes me in a hug. I have never felt so cherished in my life.

"I'm sorry," I eventually mumble.

"What for?" he asks gently.

"For being a basket case."

He chuckles. "Well, I have heard a rumor that women are prone to fits of emotion at times."

I laugh into his chest and take in a deep breath. God he smells good. His cologne is subtle but spicy and it exudes masculinity.

I pull back and look at him. "I can't play for you because I don't have my violin anymore. I had to sell it to pay for some of the medical debt."

Ryan gives me a look of horror, understanding and sympathy, all rolled into one, and my tears threaten to build again. He pulls me back to his chest and hugs me. "I'm sorry, Danny. Can I do anything for you?"

I know what he is asking me. If he can get me a violin, but he won't come out and say it. I shake my head.

But then I pull back and put my hand to his cheek. "Actually, you can do something."

"What? I'll do anything."

I give him a wicked smile. "I want you to take me into my bedroom and make me forget about my music for tonight."

Ryan's inhales sharply and I swear his copper eyes turn amber. As I sit in his lap, I immediately feel the growing evidence of the affect my words have on him and it makes me feel incredibly powerful. He searches my eyes as to some clue of what I really want but I don't offer a hint.

Ryan takes my face in his hands and pulls it close to his. "I'm not making love to you tonight, Danny. But if you let me, I promise I will take your mind off your music for a while."

I give a little sigh and nod my head.

"Please," I whisper.

Ryan shoots off the couch with me in his arms and walks down the hallway. I point to my door and he pushes it open with his foot. I have a bedside lamp on with a red scarf thrown over the top and it provides incredible romantic lighting. That certainly wasn't my intent when I had originally put that scarf there months and months ago, but hey, that works out wonderfully.

Ryan puts one knee on the bed and lays me upon the top. I scoot over to make room for him and he follows me.

We both lie down and face each other, and for just awhile, we lay there and look at each other.

Finally he brings his hand to my face and then curls his fingers around the back of my neck. "You are so beautiful, Danny."

"I could say the same about you."

He gives me a hint of a smile but then his look turns molten. He leans in and kisses me gently. I follow his pace, soaking in the experience. I know I'm not losing my virginity tonight but I know I'm going to learn something new and I am tingling with anticipation.

Before long, our kisses turn more urgent. I feel like I am spinning out of control and Ryan masters my mouth. He commands it and it obeys him. My tongue and his move together and then apart. Needing to be together, then needing to roam.