Not Quite Dating(55)

Her lips started to tremble.
“Ho, ho, ho.” Jack walked into her apartment as if he’d only been gone a few hours instead of nearly a week.
“Jack!” Danny bounced to his feet and ran to Jack’s side. He wrapped his arms around Jack’s leg and nearly caused him to spill the presents in his hands.
“Howdy, partner.”
Monica found her feet and started removing the load from Jack’s hands. “Here, let me help you.”
“Thanks.” Jack hugged Danny with a free hand.
Jessie stood anchored to one spot on the floor, afraid to move.
“Where have you been?” Danny asked. “We missed you.”
Jack knelt down at Danny’s level after setting the last of the boxes on the table. “I missed you, too.”
“Mommy cried.” Oh boy, nothing like a five-year-old to blast out the truth.
“She did?” Jack turned his gaze to her and gave a wan smile. “I’m sorry about that. Maybe I can make it up.”
“What is all this?” Danny dropped to the floor and started to read the names on the presents. “This one’s for me?” Silver paper and a huge green bow adorned the box. Danny shook the thing for dear life.
The sight brought fresh tears to Jessie’s eyes.
All eyes were on Danny. “There is one for you, Auntie Monica. And another one for me.” He beamed. “Look, Mom, one for you.”
Jessie sucked in her lip and bit it. “You didn’t have to do this,” she said.
Jack stood and ruffled the hair on Danny’s head. “I wanted to.”
Monica walked to Jessie’s side. “Are you OK?”
Jessie nodded. The happiness of seeing Jack shifted to the growing concern of what would happen next. Did he want to go back to being friends? Could she be only friends?
“Hey, Danny? How about you and I go to the park and bring candy canes to all your friends?”
Danny glanced between Jack and Monica with uncertainty.
“Are you going to be here when I come back?” he asked Jack.
Jack’s eyes leveled with Jessie’s. “I’d like to be.”
What did that mean?
“Come on, little dude. Let’s give Jack and your mom some time to talk.” Monica walked over to the closet and removed his coat.
Before they both walked out the door, Monica asked, “Are you sure you’re OK?”
Jessie waved her off.
Once the door closed, the room grew silent.
“Danny looks a lot better than the last time I saw him,” Jack said, removing his cowboy hat from his head. He looked good. Maybe a little tired, but good.
“He was sick for a few days. Nothing worse than the night in the hospital.”
“Good. I’m glad.” And nervous, from the way he kept shifting from foot to foot.
“You didn’t need to do all this.” Jessie waved her hands at the gifts that filled the empty spaces around their Christmas tree.
“I wanted to,” he repeated.
Their eyes settled on the tree as painful silence stretched between them.
“Jack.”
“Jessie,” they both said together, and then laughed.
“Why don’t we sit down,” she suggested. “Can I get you something to drink?”
He shook his head and waited for her to sit before he took his seat opposite her.
“I’ve made such a mess of things, Jessie.” Jack leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
“You didn’t do it alone.”
His eyes traveled to the floor. “Is what Danny said true? Did you cry?”
“Women are emotional creatures.”
“I hate the thought of you crying over me.”
Jessie sat taller. “I was afraid I’d driven you away forever. We’ve kinda gotten used to you being around here. Danny hasn’t stopped asking where you are.”
“Did you miss me?”
She swallowed hard and delivered the truth. “More than you would believe.”
Jack smiled. “I can believe a lot of things. Like I believe that if I’d waited to ask you to marry me, maybe you’d have said yes. But no, I had to jump in, both feet, and have you turn me down.”
“You scared me, Jack.”
“Why?”
Why? Good question, one she’d been considering night and day since he left. “I was afraid of loving you. Of what would become of us if I allowed myself to depend on you. I’ve been doing this alone for a lot of years, and I’d love to share the burden, but I didn’t think that was fair to you.”
Jack opened his mouth to say something, but she halted him with a hand.
“Wait, I’m not done. Sometimes, when you love someone, you need to do what’s best for them. Doing what’s best isn’t always the easiest thing. I thought you’d have a better shot at all the things you want in your life if you didn’t have Danny and me dragging you down.”
When Jessie looked, she saw Jack staring at her with his mouth dropped open. “You said no because you love me?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I said no because Danny and I both love you. Having you walk out of our life one day when you want to pursue your dreams would hurt more than saying good-bye now. At least, that’s what I thought last week.”
Jack stood, knelt down in front of her, and grasped her hands. “Do you feel the same thing this week?”
“No. This week I was miserable, desperately wishing you wouldn’t take my rejection and you’d come back.”
Jack lifted his hands to her face and rubbed away the tears with his thumbs. Leaning forward, he brought his lips to hers.