Nora Goes Off Script(47)

Arthur is not having this. I say, “I’m not exactly a party-all-night kind of a person; don’t let this dress fool you. I’m going to watch the movie and come right back home.”

“Okay, good,” says Arthur. Bernadette shakes her head in disappointment.



* * *



? ? ?

Penny steps out of her building in a strapless black gown and a black version of the shoes I’m wearing. She breaks into a little run when she sees me in the waiting car on the corner, and I wonder if she wears shoes like this all the time. “I am so ready,” she says as she gets in the car. “Are you ready?”

“Well, I don’t think I could get any more makeup on my face, so I must be ready,” I say.

“You look beautiful,” she says and takes my hand. “So do you know how you’re going to play this? Like he’s going to be there, and there’s going to be a moment where you’re face-to-face and you have to say something.”

My hand flies up to my heart, as if to protect it, and I notice it’s beating too quickly. “I’m not ready. I thought I was ready. I was going to say ‘hello’ and just see what he says back. That was my big plan. But no, I’m actually not ready.”

“Okay, let’s work backward. What do you want him to walk away thinking? That he’s a jerk? That you’re absolutely fine?”

I crack the window and let the fall air fill my lungs. “I want him to think I’m fine, I guess. But I don’t know if I can pull it off. I’m not fine, Pen.”

“Okay, we need to get your head organized. Put these things in the front: You look gorgeous in that dress. You’re the reason all these people are here tonight; you wrote the thing. You’re the star. He’s only there because of what you created. I want to see shoulders back, forehead at rest, and a smile, like you know what I’m saying is true.”

When we were little, Penny’s Barbies always put their best foot forward. They were groomed and well dressed, and, no matter what kind of tragic story line I threw their way, she always had them coming out on top. Tonight, she’s doing the same for me.

“Okay, I’m as gorgeous and brilliant as my shoes,” I say.

“At least.”

Our car has clearance to pull up right in front of the theater. Someone with a headset opens my door and helps me out. I adjust my dress and lay my black wrap over my arm. I blink into the lights. I look back and watch Penny get out of the car and notice she is smiling. I remember to do the same. We pose together for a photo and then start walking the red carpet in small steps and then normal ones. I imagine that my beautiful dress and magic shoes are a confidence costume. They are the cloak of self-assuredness, and I try to walk down the red carpet with a gait and an expression to match them. Plus, Penny is close enough to catch me if I stumble.

When we have completed our trek, I am relieved. People are milling around in the theater lobby, and someone hands us glasses of champagne off of a tray. “Nora, you look gorgeous,” I hear from behind me. It’s Martin. We hug hello. I introduce him to Penny, and he introduces us to his too-young wife, Candy. “This here is the next big thing in Hollywood,” he tells her. “As long as she keeps writing, I’m going to be rich.”

“And so is Nora,” says Penny.

I thank him and down the rest of my champagne.

“Are you writing anything now?” Candy asks.

“Yes,” I say and immediately wish I hadn’t.

Martin claps his hands. “If this film is as well-received as I anticipate, I plan to be in a bidding war for your next project. What’s it about?”

It’s about Leo and me falling madly in love right after you left. It’s about how the sunrise can be the most important thing in the world to a person who’s lost touch with his soul. It’s about a person turning his back on his soul for fame, I want to say.

“It’s more nonsense about love gone wrong,” I actually say. And now I know for sure I can’t let anyone read that script.

The man passes with more champagne and I take one. Of course, I haven’t eaten anything since a slice of Arthur’s bacon at breakfast. Stupid.

“Has Leo arrived yet?” Penny asks, and I shoot her a look that I perfected when I was twelve.

“That’s probably them now,” says Martin, nodding toward the mob of photographers headed toward a white limo.

As I anticipate Leo stepping out of that limo, I only know one thing: I cannot do this. What I dread most is seeing either guilt or pity on his face. It will be my undoing.

“I’m anxious to see how the movie turned out,” I tell Martin. “Are we allowed to go in early and grab a good seat?”

“Sure, go ahead. We’ll see you at the party after?”

“Of course,” Penny answers for me. I reassure Candy that meeting her has been the highlight of my night, and we make a beeline into the theater. I lead Penny to seats in the back row in the center. I cover myself with my wrap.

“What’s this?” Penny asks. “This is your big night and we’re hiding back here? Take off that wrap so you can sparkle a little at least.”

“I don’t feel like sparkling. This was a huge mistake, Pen.” I gesture toward a row of reserved seats near the front where I’m sure Leo and Naomi will be sitting.