Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(13)

Don’t trust the kids.

No, wait. These kids were just pissed they didn’t get what they wanted at the mall. No booby traps. No human barricades—

Then a sound he couldn’t mistake anywhere—the hiss of an RPG.

“Hit the floor!”

He rushed toward Megan to provide cover before his brain kicked in and computed that they were near a party store. The sound was the helium filling a birthday balloon.

You’re in suburban Albuquerque. No one is aiming for you.

Megan turned and stared at him as if he’d grown a second head. Hoping to regain his cool, he looked at the floor and reached down to pick up an imaginary object he quickly pretended to put in his pocket.

“Found it.”

Her brows furrowed, but she smiled again and turned, making her way toward the computer store once more. People passed within barely a foot of her, and he went on high alert again. Too many people. Too many unfamiliar sounds.

Jesus, let’s get this over with and get back to her place.

Inside the computer store, a saleswoman entered her name in her iPad, and he surveyed the showroom while waiting for her to be served. While busy, fewer than ten people occupied the store, half of them appearing to be staff members. One quickly recorded her order and headed to the back to retrieve the components she’d requested.

Less than half an hour later, he carried the bag with her new laptop as well as an additional wide screen she said would help with her photo editing.

“That was fast.”

“They usually are.”

“It helped that you knew what you wanted.”

At the SUV, they stowed the boxes and bags in the cargo area.

Ryder sat in the passenger seat and breathed a little easier for the first time since they’d arrived at the mall. Before she started the ignition, he suggested, “Let’s stop by the hardware store. I’d like to pick up some new locks for the condo. I can work on that while you set up your computer.” His nerves were stretched thin. He needed to decompress before he had a full-blown anxiety attack. Installing the locks would give him something to do that would get his head back in the game.

“Sounds good. All I know is the sooner I restore my photo files, the better I’ll feel. Maybe we can go out later tonight as a reward for working so hard today.”

“We’ll see.”

“You sound like my dad, only his noncommittal response often meant no. He never had time when he was working.”

Without responding, he stood at the driver’s door and waited for her to unlock it and then opened it for her.

“You don’t have to open my door.” She smiled anyway. “But thank you.”

After one more glance around the parking lot, unable to shake the feeling of being scrutinized, he took his place in the front passenger seat.

She didn’t start the engine right away, and he turned to meet her gaze. “Relax, Ryder. We’re not in any danger. If you remain on a constant level of heightened awareness, you’re going to exhaust yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

But she spoke the truth. Just this past hour or so had left him drained. How could he effectively protect her if he didn’t have the strength to fight off attacks?

Especially the attacks from within.

*

After they stopped at the hardware store, Megan hurried back to the condo. Seated beside her, Ryder fisted and unfisted his hand repeatedly. She didn’t know what had caused his anxiety, but remembered those first months with Patrick after he returned from Afghanistan.

Did Ryder suffer from post-traumatic stress or was he just someone who didn’t like being in crowds? The way he expected everyone around them to attack at any moment must be exhausting. She made a note not to ask him to go out during the busiest part of the day again.

She reached across the seat and squeezed his arm, feeling a slight tremor through his shirt sleeve. “Thanks for going along with me. I appreciate it.”

“I promised your brother I’d protect you.”

Putting her hand back on the wheel, she realized she and Adam needed to have a talk. Did he expect Ryder to be plastered to her side indefinitely?

“I think we both know that whatever the burglars wanted, they got. I don’t expect any more trouble.”

“Don’t you want to bring them to justice?”

She sighed. “Do you have any idea how long it takes to find justice in this world? No, thanks. I’m happy knowing they are out of my life. I don’t need anything more.”

His gaze lingered on her for a long time, and she tried to ignore the way his stare made her insides turn to jelly. Not easy. The man was so…intense. Didn’t he ever lighten up and have fun?

Don’t judge, Megan. You haven’t been through what he has.

Combat changed people. She’d seen it in Patrick and the few from her high school who’d gone off to serve their country. No one should have to do the things they had to do, but thank God men and women were willing to make those sacrifices.

The rest of the drive passed in silence. She wondered what he was thinking, but decided to give him time to unwind after the shopping trip. Opening the garage door, she pulled in next to his Harley.

Outside the SUV, her hand stroked over the leather seat before remembering what part of his anatomy had been plastered to it. She’d never ridden on a Harley. “Maybe we can go for a ride later.”