Nobody Does It Better(8)

As the highway unfolds, I try to approach my frustration the way I would any other problem, by first assessing the situation.

But it’s not the situation so much that irks me. It’s the possible outcome.

If Vanessa is planning to go out with a guy like Jamie, that means she might wind up with a guy like him.

Or, more specifically, with him.

And that possibility bothers me more than I’ve ever been bothered by any guy she’s dated.

Because Jamie is exactly the kind of guy she deserves. A good guy, a nice guy, a smart guy—a guy who would treat her really fucking well.

I hate how that winds me up.

But I don’t know how to stop it.

Or what to do.

Or how I honestly feel about all of it.

When I arrive in town, I meet my dad outside the offices of my money guru. Even though Dad and I both live in Lucky Falls, I convinced him to work with my guy out of town. I wanted my dad to have enough to enjoy his retirement, more than a pension from the district attorney’s office would allow, so I hooked him up with Harvey, and Dad’s been making more coin to enjoy in his golden years.

But as we review portfolios, I’m distracted, and I have been since the tux shop yesterday. I can’t fathom the thought of Vanessa being with Jamie. She’s certainly been with other guys. She’s dated other guys. Hell, I’ve known some of her boyfriends on and off over the years. But this one—it’s like an ulcer for some damn reason.

“Your investments are quite healthy. I’d say you’ve fulfilled your goal of being a fireman and having quite a decent set of assets working for you,” Harvey says. That was my dream—to do what I loved for a living and have the financial freedom to do it for my whole life. The pay isn’t great in the fire service, but I’m committed to the work, so by investing early and wisely, I found a way to do this job and have plenty of security.

“You’ve done a great job, and you’re both in good positions,” Harvey adds, but I can’t really focus on how my portfolio is performing when all I can think about is how this other guy might perform for Vanessa.

When we leave, a slap of cold wind biting my cheeks, we agree to grab a late lunch at a nearby restaurant. Once inside, we order burgers and chat about which funds Dad wants to invest in next.

Halfway into a big bite, Dad sets his burger down and stares sharply at me. “Where are you today?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re off in la-la land, son. Where is the Shaw who loves to discuss numbers and stock tips? Where’s the guy who loves to help me plan new funds to buy and sell? You okay?”

I heave a sigh. If I can’t talk about this situation with my dad, who can I discuss it with? “I have a quandary.”

He folds his hands. “I like quandaries. I spent my career solving them.”

I put down my sandwich and wipe my hands on my napkin. “It’s about Vanessa.”

Dad smiles—that knowing grin of someone who’s been around the block. “I’ve always had a feeling a conversation with you would start this way one day.”

“It’s that obvious?”

“It’s been clear for some time you’ve had it bad for her.”

“That’s the thing.” I scratch my head. “Is it a crush? Is it lust? Is it just wanting what I can’t have?”

“Those are all good questions.”

“But then there’s Perri. She’s operating at a she-wolf level of protectiveness when it comes to Vanessa. She thinks because I’ve dated here and there I’m not right for her friend.”

My dad snickers.

I tilt my head. “What are you laughing at?”

With crinkled eyes, he shoots me a knowing stare. “Here and there? Are you softening things for the jury?”

“Are you saying I’m a man ho, Dad?”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “I’d never use that word. But I am saying you milked every possible advantage out of the Keating family charm. Your position in the firemen’s calendar too. You’ve never wanted for female companionship.”

I straighten my shoulders. “I like the ladies, and they like me. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Nothing at all. But that’s part of the issue for your sister. You’ve never been terribly serious with anyone, so Perri thinks you’re wrong for her friend. To top it off, you don’t seem sure whether you’re committed about Vanessa. Seems you have a few issues to deal with.”

I scrub a hand across my jaw, glad he broke it down but still perplexed as to what to do. “Guess I do have my work cut out for me.”

“Which one are you going to tackle first?”

“You tell me.”

He takes a drink of water, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “The most important part is how you feel for Vanessa.”

That’s the big one. I answer as truthfully as I can. “All I know is I don’t want anyone else near her.”

“You need to get to the bottom of that and understand precisely why. Once you know, then you can lay out the next steps: Are you asking Perri for permission to date Vanessa? Are you asking for permission to tell Vanessa you’re in love with her? Are you wanting something else? But more than that, it comes down to this—what about Vanessa? You don’t even know if she likes you. You need to figure that out, because if she doesn’t feel the same, nothing else matters.”