No Kissing Allowed (No Kissing Allowed #1)(18)
“Why?”
I met his stare, refusing to be embarrassed. He could want what he wanted, and I could want what I wanted. There was no right. “Because I’ve seen what it’s like to live a life full of love. My parents loved each other, respected each other. And then my dad died and my mom met Eric, and somehow, I was lucky enough to see love in my house for a second time. That kind of love impacts you. You don’t want less than the real thing when you’ve seen it firsthand.”
“I guess that’s the problem. I’ve never seen it.”
My gaze locked on his, my heartbeat erratic for reasons that had nothing to do with exercise. “I’m sorry for how I acted the day after we were together,” I said, my voice low. “For kicking you out and saying you were a twenty-eight-year-old without a job. That wasn’t fair.”
The corners of his mouth twitched. “You didn’t say I was a twenty-eight-year-old without a job.”
“Oh. I must have just thought it.”
The grin spread and he took a step toward me, humor switching to longing at the mention of our time together. “I had a great time with you. If I did the dating thing, I would have wanted to date you.” His eyes darkened, and I held my breath, knowing I should stop this. That he should stop this. One of us should stop this. But I couldn’t pull away. His head dipped down, so close I could almost taste the mint on his breath, but then his back went rigid and he backed up, his irises so dark they appeared black. “I…we should probably get going. The cleaning crew will be here soon.”
I tried to steady my breathing, calm down my heart, but there was no nursery rhyme to get me through this. A shiver worked its way down my spine as I peered over at him, only to find him biting his lip like it took every bit of strength in his body not to close the distance between us.
Just then the gym door opened, and a cleaning cart came into sight, followed by a small old man. “Sorry. I thought the office was empty.”
Aidan’s gaze swept from me, and he waved him in. “No, come in. We were just leaving.”
I swallowed hard. “Right…just leaving.”
Chapter Ten
“So, where do you want to eat lunch?” Alexa stood beside my cube, her bag already slung over her shoulder. I’d already turned her down three days in a row, so I couldn’t say no. The problem was I had next to no money in my account. I could afford to spend ten dollars on lunch, which left me with barely enough cash to grab the toilet paper Lauren had asked me to pick up on my way back to our apartment. Everything else was for bills.
I had been on the job for nearly a week, but due to the pay schedule, I wouldn’t receive my first check for another week. Which meant I needed to bring my lunches from home, else I’d starve.
Aidan and I had fallen into a professional pattern after the events in the gym. He’d say hi, I’d say hi. Nothing less and nothing more. He was the last person to leave the office every day, and I made it a point to leave with everyone else, so as not to tempt myself into knocking on his door, on looking into those brown eyes and telling him I’d rethought my commitment-girl stance and was willing to do the no-dating thing, break all the rules, whatever, just to feel his lips on mine again.
It was bad enough that I had to work with him every day, but my dreams were becoming a problem all on their own. I had fantasies that could fill the most erotic novel on the planet, and then I would have to see him the next day and pretend that I hadn’t just dreamed about him being in my bed.
“So…?” Alexa asked, pulling me back to the moment.
“Right. Yeah, sure, but can we go affordable? I’m kind of tight until payday.”
She smiled that sympathetic smile that Grace always flashed to Lauren and me. Alexa’s parents owned some major computer software company that I’d never heard of, but apparently it was doing very well.
“I can cover you,” she said, causing me to cringe. I hated the idea of anyone helping me out. There was just something about doing it on my own, about suffering, and then finding myself on top at the end of my struggle. “Besides,” she said, lowering her voice and glancing around, “I have gossip, and I need someone to share it with.”
“About who?” I whispered.
She glanced around again. “Aidan.”
Suddenly my insides turned to ice. I grabbed my bag and nodded to Alexa for us to go. A cold front had blown in, making the October air feel like early winter. I shivered beneath my peacoat, wishing I’d opted for pants instead of skirt and boots.
Alexa waited until we were seated at a small sandwich shop around the corner before blurting out, “Guess who I saw out last night?”
The smells of freshly baked bread filled my nose, making my stomach all the more uncomfortable with this topic. I didn’t want to hear what she was going to say next, but it was like a car accident. I couldn’t look away. “I’m guessing Aidan?”
A devilish grin spread across her face. Oh God, she was going to tell me that she slept with him, that she’d seen his body in all its glory. I braced myself as she leaned in. “He showed up at that new club, Blaze, last night, and I swear, every woman was trying to talk to him. I’d never seen anything like it. But here’s the juicy part.” She eyed the shop to make sure none of our coworkers were there, listening to us gossip. “He left with Misha Kyle, the freaking Victoria’s Secret model. She went up to him as soon as he walked in, and then they left together. I wouldn’t be surprised if photos showed up in the gossip magazines this week.”