Nico (Ruin & Revenge #1)(65)

No.

He had destroyed her with just one word. He had destroyed himself.

Nico leaned into the curves as the road wound back and forth through the park. Faster, faster, so fast adrenaline pumped through his body, a heady mixture of excitement and fear. One slip, and it would all be over. One slip, and he would die his father’s son but not his own man.

He slowed the bike. Pulled up at a lookout. Stared over the mountain pass. Luca pulled up behind him, reminding him a boss was never truly alone.

“Everything okay, boss?” Luca dismounted, patrolled the gravel as if danger was afoot.

“Yeah. Just taking a minute. Then we’ll head back to the city.” Luca and Frankie were the only soldiers in his crew who knew how to ride, so they took turns on guard duty when Nico went out on his bike. Big Joe would be coming up behind them in his vehicle, just in case they had problems with their bikes.

“I always come up here when I have girl trouble,” Luca said.

“I’ve never seen you with just one girl.” Luca had become the manwhore of the club after his wife died, going through women so fast, Nico couldn’t keep track.

“That’s why I come here. Every time I start thinking about getting serious with some chick, I come here and remind myself why I’m not doing it all again. If what we had was love, it isn’t worth the fucking pain.”

Nico dismounted his bike and stared out over the valley. He had learned that lesson when he watched his mother cry every Saturday after his father went back to his wife. And he’d learned it again when she’d decided to run away with Nico in search of love, and died in the attempt. As always, his father had it right. A political marriage would keep his heart safe and his mind focused on what he needed to do to ensure the success and survival of the family.

If Mia married Tony, she would become part of the family. Nico would see her every Sunday at Nonna Maria’s family gatherings. He would see her as he saw her today, everything that he loved about her hidden away beneath the veneer of a respectable mob wife, everything he wanted, crushed beneath the weight of tradition, her wings clipped when she had only just gotten free. How could he bear to see her fire gone? What would he do if he saw even the hint of a bruise on her beautiful face?

Tony wouldn’t have exclusive rights to “crazy” after that.

“You didn’t love Gina?” Luca had married Gina in a shotgun wedding after getting her pregnant. He’d never expressed any discontent about the situation, and they’d seemed happy together, especially after Matteo was born, but she was not the kind of woman he would have ever picked for Luca. Too brash. Too loud. Too shallow. Too needy. Luca had taken to carrying two phones, one just to field her constant calls, and the other for business.

“Who the fuck knows?” Luca fiddled with the zipper on his jacket, and Nico realized they’d never talked about Gina’s death before. He had never witnessed the utter destruction of a man, until he went with Luca to identify her body. He’d assumed love had crushed Luca’s soul, but now he wondered if something was going on.

Nico’s hands tightened around the railing. His entire life had been about the family—duty, honor, and revenge—and the best thing for the family was to stand aside while Tony married Mia. The marriage would provide a short-term benefit in the form of a truce between the families, and a long-term benefit in the form of increased family security and power after he married the girl from Sicily, and dealt with Don Cordano and Tony in a permanent way. It made perfect business sense. It was what his father would have done. But it didn’t align with the yearning in his heart.

“I don’t want to speak bad about her,” Luca said into the silence. “I cared about her enough to marry her when I could have just walked away. And she gave me Matteo. When he was born, I thought there might actually be a heaven and maybe I did something right in my sorry life because God sent me an angel of my very own.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.” Big Joe joined them at the railing. “First time I realized I had a heart was when I held my kid in my arms. One day maybe I’ll find a woman who makes me feel like that, and my fucking heart will start beating again.”

Nico’s heart had started beating the moment he laid eyes on Mia, and it had stopped when he gave her up to Tony.

“Your talents are wasted in the mob.” Nico mounted his bike. “You two should be writing fucking greeting cards.”

Nico wanted vengeance, but he wanted Mia more. Vengeance had left him empty inside, blind to what was going on around him, deaf to the rumblings on the street as Tony secretly gathered more and more power in anticipation of the day Santo was whacked. If he had been on the ball, he wouldn’t be on his back foot in the fight for control of the family. If he had thought and planned ahead, he would have been able to secure his power the day Santo died. Mia offered him more than just an opportunity to save his family. He could save her. He could save himself. He could make his heart beat again, and he could give it away.

“Where are we going next, boss?” Luca mounted his bike.

“Back to the city. I’m getting married tonight.”





SEVENTEEN

Bang. Bang. Bang.

“Mia! It’s Nico. Open the door.”

Bang. Bang. Bang. He thudded again on the motel room door. Big Joe had confirmed Mia was inside with her sister. They had no time to waste.