Neon Gods (Dark Olympus #1)(86)

What if I can stop this?

Hermes is halfway to the door when I find my voice, though I hardly sound like myself. “Hermes.” I wait for her to face me to continue. If I do this, there’s no going back. The price might be too high to pay, but I can’t let everyone else fight my battles for me. The time for hiding behind Hades’s reputation is past. It’s time for action. “I would like to send a message to my mother.”

***

I second-guess myself a thousand times after Hermes leaves, watching the minutes tick into hours as I wait for a response from my mother. Taking care of Eurydice requires some concentration, but eventually she passes out on the bed and I’m once again left to wait with my own thoughts.

I don’t know if I’m making the right call. I wish with everything I have that I could run this plan past Hades, that we could come up with a solution together. A nice rational solution that steers us through these treacherous waters and to a safe harbor.

That’s the problem, though. I don’t feel rational. My panic doesn’t abate as time passes. If anything, it gets stronger. Zeus wants Hades’s head on a platter. He’s wanted it for years, and I’ve finally given him a way to make it happen.

I can’t let Hades die.

The thought of this world without him in it? The very idea makes me flinch as if my body can repel the thought. He won’t be thinking of himself, only of protecting his people. Of protecting me. He promised, after all, and I know Hades well enough to know that he’ll keep his word even if it means he goes under to keep me above water.

I have to protect him. He’s got no one else who…

My breath catches in my chest, and I stare blindly at the tasteful blue walls of the room. In a daze, I finish the sentence, if only in my head. He’s got no one else who loves him like I do.

I love Hades.

I close my eyes and focus on breathing past the tightness invading my body. Love was never part of the plan, but none of this was part of the plan. I can’t tell him. If I tell him, it might rattle him past the point of reason. He won’t see my actions as anything less than a betrayal. He might even do something to put his people at risk, and that I can’t allow.

No, I can’t tell him. I have to bottle this up, shove it down deep. If I succeed, maybe there will be something left of us to salvage on the other side. If I fail… Well, we’ll have bigger problems at that point.

I’m still wrestling with my emotions when the window slides open and Hermes climbs through. I stare. “Did you just scale the walls? On the second story?”

“What, like it’s hard?” Her grin is a shadow of itself. The night’s events have worn on her, just like they have on the rest of us. She straightens and my mother’s voice emerges from her lips. “You have a deal.”

All the strength goes out of my body for one terrifying moment. I didn’t honestly expect her to agree. Now I truly have no choice. I close my eyes and take a slow breath. Things are now in motion. There’s no going back now.

I smooth a hand over my sister’s hair. “Wake up, Eurydice.”

Things happen quickly after that. I take the time to change into another black gown that Juliette made for me. It’s long-sleeved with a generous scooped neck and a full skirt, but the real highlight of it is the underbust corset that goes over the top of it. It’s black threaded with silver, and it makes me think of stylized armor. In this dress, I feel like a dark queen.

Like a dark goddess.

Hermes gives me a long look. “That’s quite the statement piece.”

“Appearances always matter in the upper city.” I’ll only have one opportunity to get this right. “It’s important to strike the right tone.”

She laughs a little under her breath. “When you walk through the door, they won’t know what hit them.”

“Good.” I smooth my hands over the dress. There’s no more time to waste. “Let’s go.”

Eurydice stops me before I can open the bedroom door. “I’m staying.”

I stop short. “What?”

“I need time.” She wraps her arms around herself. “I’ll figure out what I’m doing in the morning, but I’m not going back to the upper city tonight. I can’t.”

I start to argue, but Hermes cuts in, “Look, if this all goes down the way you want it to, her staying won’t make a difference. If things go tits up, her staying here also won’t make a difference.”

She’s right. I hate that she’s right. Not to mention that the safest place for Eurydice right now is in Hades’s home. No matter what happens next, he won’t let any harm come to her. I swallow hard. “Okay.” I pull my sister into a tight hug. “Be safe.”

“You, too.” She squeezes me back just as tightly. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” I force myself to release her and turn to Hermes. “I’m ready.”

I half expect Hermes to direct me to the window despite my wardrobe change, but she leads me out the door and down the hallway to the back staircase that comes out near the kitchen. Then we’re down in the tunnels that I haven’t visited since the night I met Hades. I silence my questions at her seeming magical ability to navigate Hades’s home. It’s uncanny in the extreme, but it works. We make it to the exit without being caught.