Neon Gods (Dark Olympus #1)(69)

She tenses. “I can’t believe my mother would be so cruel. I’m so sorry. I honestly thought…” She gives a mirthless laugh. “I don’t know what I thought that first night. That no one would miss me if I disappeared? It seems very shortsighted when I look back now.”

“It wasn’t shortsighted so much as you were terrified and reacting.” But I know Persephone well enough now to know that acting without a plan amounts to an unforgivable sin. “It just means you’re human. Humans get scared and run sometimes. It’s not something you need to beat yourself up over.”

She huffs out a breath, but she’s still staring at things beyond this room. “I don’t get to be human. Not when my whole future hangs in the balance. And even then, I should have been thinking of someone other than myself.”

So we’re back to this.

I gather her into my arms and hold her close. “Do you trust me, Persephone?”

“What?” She cranes her neck to see my face, her dark brows pulled together. “What kind of question is that?”

“A legitimate one.” I try not to hold my breath while I wait for a response.

Thank the gods she doesn’t make me wait long. Persephone nods, suddenly solemn. “Yes, Hades, I trust you.”

The clawing feeling in my chest only gets stronger. It feels like my heart is trying to dig its way through calcified tissue to get to her. I’m rapidly reaching the point where I’d cut my chest open and dig my heart out just so I can present it to her. What the fuck is wrong with me? She’s leaving. She was always leaving.

I never thought she’d take my beaten-up heart with her when she walked away.

“Hades?”

I blink and push the new revelation away. “If you trust me, then trust me when I say you’re doing better than anyone else would have in your situation.”

She’s frowning at me again. “It’s not that simple.”

“It’s exactly that simple.”

“You can’t just decree it to be so and wipe all the doubt from my mind.”

I chuckle. “I wouldn’t even if I could. I like you when you’re difficult.”

Persephone shifts, sliding a leg over my hips and moving up to straddle me. With her hair a mess and her body backlit by the faint morning sun sneaking through the curtains, she looks like some kind of spring goddess, all warm and earthy.

She holds my gaze. “Since we’re on the subject of trust, I want to talk about protection.” She holds perfectly still, as if she doesn’t notice my cock hardening against her. “As in, I would like to stop using it.”

My breath catches in my throat. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, Hades. I don’t have to do anything with you that I don’t want to do.”

The easy way she says it makes me feel… She just flat-out makes me feel. A lot. I gently set my hands on her hips. “I’m tested regularly.”

She nods as if she expects no less, taking me at my word. The sheer trust she’s putting in me is a little staggering. Persephone covers my hands with her own. “I haven’t been with anyone since my ex-girlfriend, and I was tested after that. I’m also on birth control—an IUD.”

“You don’t have to do this,” I repeat. I want to be inside her without a barrier more than I want almost anything right now, but I also don’t want her to agree to something she’s not one hundred percent ready for. I really should know Persephone better by now.

“Hades.” She doesn’t move. “Do you not want to? Because it’s okay if you don’t. I know there’s some trust involved with the entire birth-control subject, and if you’re not comfortable with it, that’s okay, too. I promise it is.”

For a moment, I just stare at her in shock. When was the last time someone took my comfort level into account? I don’t know. I really have no fucking idea. When I was with partners in the past, I was the dominant one, the responsible party who designed the scenes and ran them. I like that role, like having others submit to me, but I didn’t realize how tired I am until Persephone offers me the tiniest of considerations.

She’s frowning again. “Oh gods, I crossed a line, didn’t I? I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

I tighten my grip on her hips before she can move. “Hold on. Give me a second.”

“Take as long as you need.” She says it so meekly, I almost laugh.

I finally get ahold of myself. “I think we’re on the same page.” I speak slowly, feeling my way. “If you change your mind at any point, we’ll go back to condoms.”

“If you change your mind, too.” She gives me a happy smile and grips my wrists, slowly bringing my hands up to palm her breasts. “Never a better time to start than now.”

“Can’t argue that.”

She arches her brows. “Really? You’re not going to argue even a little bit? How disappointing.”

I snag the back of her neck and tow her down to meet my mouth. As much as I enjoy sniping back and forth with her, I’m not in the mood right now. The amount of trust she’s placing in me staggers me on a level I’m not prepared to deal with. This isn’t anything as deceptively simple as telling each other truths. She’s taking my word that she’s safe with me in this moment.