Needing Carrie: A Savage Brothers MC Novella(18)

My woman is as ready for this as I am.





19





Carrie





I didn’t think it was possible to love him more than I already do, but seeing the way he’s looking at me, and witnessing how much time and effort he put into our wedding, I know it is. If that wasn’t enough, watching our daughter run to her father and the way he held her? I don’t have words for what that feels like.

The preacher begins the ceremony, and I do my best to listen, but I can’t seem to concentrate on anything but the look on Jacob’s face. Then I hear words that shocks me more than anything else has today.

“Mr. Blake has prepared his own vows,” he says, and my heart stops before turning over.

“Jacob?” I ask, not knowing what I’m asking for, partially in shock. He clears his throat, avoiding my eyes, and definitely looking uncomfortable. I’m just about to rescue him somehow, tell him he doesn’t have to…something. I feel like he’s put himself on the line all to give me a perfect wedding. It has been—absolutely. A woman couldn’t ask for anything more than what he’s given me. But, I don’t want too much pressure on himself. It’s not needed. I know he lo—

“Everything,” he says his voice gruff, as he looks at me, and my protests die on my slightly parted lips.

“That’s the one word I keep coming back to, Carrie. All week long I’ve tried to write vows to tell you how special you are and how much you mean to me. I wanted to give you your dream wedding. The one finally wedding a prince and not a troll, but Care Bear, I couldn’t manage to write the words,” he says, his hand going back to rub the back of his neck. His deep brown eyes are staring straight at me, his brow creased. I reach out, on reflex, and let my fingers lightly brush the side of his face with my fingers. His beard tickles against the pads of my fingers, but I’m too engrossed in Jacob to give into the smile that touching him always brings me.

“Jacob. Honey…”

“You bring me quiet, when the world around me feels like chaos that’s circling around me,” he starts again, and my body jerks as I hear his words. “Peace, when it feels like I’m in the middle of Hell. Light when I get too lost in the dark. Family when I feel alone. A reason to look to the future when I’m lost in the past. Fuck, Carrie. I wanted to give you hearts and flowers. This was supposed to be about how wonderful you are and I can’t find the right words. I wanted my wedding vow to you to be perfect, but I’m messing this up. I don’t know how to tell you what you are—what you mean to me. Love doesn’t cover it. You give me love, but there’s so much more you do. So instead, I’m scrambling for words, and I can’t find them. I want everyone to know how amazing you are and yet, somehow I’m f*cking that up and telling you what you do for me like an *.”

I’m crying again. I’m crying so hard that Jacob’s face is hard to see. My hand tightens on his face. I need to tell him so much. I need him to know that his words are more than perfect. I need to tell him how amazing he is, but I can’t get control of myself.

“There’s only one word I keep coming back to, Care Bear. Everything. You are absolutely everything to me. Without you, I wouldn’t exist, because a world without you isn’t a place I want to live in. You are everything. Fucking everything.”

“I love you Jacob,” I cry and throw myself into his arms.

“You’re not supposed to cry, baby,” he says, his hand pulling me back enough so he can use his fingers to try and catch my tears. It’s useless. I feel like my heart is so full they may never stop. “I love you Carrie Blake. My friend, my heart, my wife…my everything.

Right then I know that Jacob is a liar. Because those are the perfect vows. Those words are music to my soul.

“I love you, my husband, my world, my everything,” I tell him and stand on the tips of my toes, begging for his kiss. Jacob doesn’t make me wait. He brings his lips down and gives me a gentle kiss. It’s not romantic. It’s just meant to reaffirm our words and it does. It completely does.

“I assume that pretty much covers the vow part of the ceremony,” the preacher says and Jacob pulls away. He looks at me again before turning his head to the preacher.

“Yeah, it does. And…well, sorry about saying the word f*ck,” he says; laughter surrounds us and that does make me smile.

“I think in this instance, God understands,” the preacher laughs. “We’re doing this a little out of order, but give me the ring please,” he asks, and Jacob turns around to Dragon.

“Wait I have a ring too,” I tell them, surprising Jacob. “It belonged to my father, the only other man I’ve truly loved. It seems fitting. He would have been proud to call you his son,” I tell him, with complete honesty. I’m kind of afraid Jacob will think I’m stupid, but he just moves his thumb across my cheek, pushing against the side of my mouth. I have the wicked urge to take it into my mouth, but I don’t. Instead, I drink in the love coming from…my husband.

We hand the preacher our rings and he holds them up, looking out into the crowd.

“Like a wedding ring, so is real love. An unending circle which surrounds and encompasses the finger of the one you hold most dear. The one God has chosen just for you, and what God has joined together no man can put asunder,” he announces, and I like that. I like that a lot. “Please place the rings on each other’s fingers,” the preacher instructs. Almost like magic, my father’s wedding ring goes on Jacob’s hand like it was made for it. I’m so glad I asked Mary to retrieve it from her safe. I put it there years ago, when I claimed my parent’s property. I was so sad and broken then. I never dreamed that the next time I looked at it, it would be with so much joy and love. I almost feel like my parents are here watching everything—giving me their blessing.