Needing Carrie: A Savage Brothers MC Novella(11)

“Then that’s what you need to be worrying over. Now, get out of here and let me finish breakfast. The girls helped me get some things done yesterday, and we’re having fresh fruit and doughnuts, but I just couldn’t imagine you men surviving on that till the wedding dinner, so I’m frying up some bacon and eggs too.”

“Mom, I told you not to go to any trouble!”

“I know, and I’m still upset you hired a caterer for the wedding dinner.”

“I didn’t want you to work,” I sigh, rubbing my hand along the side of my jawline. Mary tries to do everything and she’s not exactly a spring chicken anymore—not that I would ever tell her that.

“Well, at least you got Carrie’s favorite bakery in town to make her cake. I will admit that’s the one thing I couldn’t do.”

“I need to go pick up your veil from the drycleaners for Carrie,” I tell her, knowing that this conversation is not one I can win. If I keep trying, I’ll cave and cancel the caterers.

“Then you better get. I’ll hold down the fort here, and don’t worry, I have the flowers to give to Carrie when I take her some breakfast in a bit.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I clear my throat as the next words kind of lodge there. Except for Carrie or Jazz, whom I tell every day, I rarely use them. They don’t come easy, but this woman definitely deserves them, and I’ve been an ass to her most of the past three years. “I…I love you.”

She places her hand on my forearm, and I feel it tremble. My eyes go to her face. Her hair is gray now, but it’s beautiful. Her face has wrinkles and little sags, but to me it will always be beautiful. Her lips are smiling, her brown eyes are shining, but they are also filled with tears that she’s trying not to shed, but are still gathering in her eyes. One leaks out, sliding down her cheek, and for a moment, I wonder if I’ve done something wrong.

“I love you, Jacob, as much or maybe even more than if you came from my own body. You are strong and loving, you’re everything a mother could want from a son,” she whispers and damn, the emotion inside of me at her words nearly strangles me. I feel uncomfortable, I don’t know what to say to that, but then she makes it worse. Her hand moves up to the side of my face and she looks me straight in the eyes. “Do you want to know how I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Carrie will be overjoyed when she finds out what today is?” she asks, but she doesn’t wait for me to answer, she just pushes forward. “Because there’s not a better man in this world than my Jacob. You’ve pushed your past aside, and you’re the best father and husband to Carrie and your daughter possible.”

“Mom—”

“I know all this, Jacob,” she says, stopping me from talking, “because you are the most amazing son a woman could ever ask for. I’m proud of you. Prouder than you will ever know.”

“I don’t...”

“Get out of here now and let an old woman enjoy the fact that she raised an amazing man, will you? I have breakfast to cook,” she says, clearing her throat, and turning away from me. There’s a lot floating in my head, but I feel open and a little raw.

So, I tell her the only thing I can manage to say. I follow her to the stove, hug her, and place a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m proud of you too, Mom, and I love you more than you will ever know.” It’s true. She won’t know what she means to me, because I don’t know how to express that. She gave me a chance when the world wouldn’t, and the harder I kept pushing her away, the more she loved me. That doesn’t even begin to touch the gratitude inside that she was the one to take care of Carrie when I couldn’t. I owe this woman everything.

There’s that word again…everything.

For some reason when I think about my life, specifically my life with Carrie, that’s the one word that keeps coming up again and again. Everything.





12





Carrie





Jacob’s gone.

It’s nothing new. He rarely ever sleeps through the night, but for some reason this morning, I just really wanted him here. I roll over and grab his pillow, inhaling his scent, and hugging it to me.

My head is splitting. I don’t know what all I drank last night, but since I rarely ever drink, I know it was too much. I need to get up and find some water and some Ibuprophen—stat. But just for this moment, the scent of Jacob is more comforting. I love that man more with every day. There’s not a moment that I regret coming back to him. The life that we’ve built together these last few years has gone beyond anything I ever imagined. That thought brings his face to my mind, and I need to see him. I roll over in bed and see two things. A bottle of water with some pills beside it makes me smile. Then I see the tray containing a card with my name on it, clearly in Jacob’s handwriting. A small plate of fruit, bacon, and toast. That makes my stomach turn a little, but the toast might help. I really shouldn’t have drunk so much.

I grab the card and for a moment, I worry that it’s bad news. It’s stupid. I know, but with Jacob, even now, I’m afraid something will set him back. I don’t know everything that goes on with the club, but I know that the ones who violated Jacob are dead now. I didn’t ask for details, but I made Dragon swear to me that he would tell me when they were taken care of, and he did. So, I know that’s finished. What I don’t know is if Jacob had a part in that, and if in doing that it brought alive old wounds. Maybe I should have begged Dragon and made him promise to not involve Jacob? My heartbeat is thumping rapidly in my chest, and then I see the daisies on the dresser. There are so many of them the vase almost can’t hold them all. They are pink and white; so beautiful that they make me cry. Jacob did that. He’s not leaving. He told me he would never leave me. He keeps telling me he loves me. It’s time I believe that and quit living in fear. Whatever comes our way, Jacob and I can handle…together.