Need You for Keeps (Heroes of St. Helena, #1)(36)

He took the small blue container she extended in offering and she flashed him a bright smile. Too bright, he thought, taking a closer look. Her eyes were bloodshot and the tip of her nose was pink, but everything else seemed dimmed. Fragile.

“Are you okay?”

“I asked you first and, wow, you’re really good at that whole deflecting thing.”

“It comes with the job.” So did knowing when to let something go and when to dig deeper. “So you want to tell me why you look like you’ve been crying?”

“It was a rough day. I had to take . . .” She trailed off. “Deflecting again. You go first.”

Jonah was torn. He wanted to know about her, get beneath the smart mouth and sharp wit. Maybe then he’d understand why he was so drawn to her. The way she was studying him, carefully and expectantly, he was pretty sure that interest went both ways. Problem was, talking it out and share-time had never been his strong suit. Just ask his family.

Jonah was more of a get-involved-without-getting-emotionally-entangled kind of guy.

“Forget it,” she said quietly, and bent down to get the orange-and-white polka-dotted cat carrier at her feet. “Bye, then.”

Ah, hell. He was a total and complete bastard. He knew he should have called to check on the cat. To check on Shay. But he’d barely been able to process his week, let alone what was going on between them. So he’d taken the selfish route and avoided any real interaction with her.

“Shay, wait.” He reached out, placing his hand on hers and halting her before she burned rubber back across the street. The connection was instantaneous, hot and real, and she felt it too because the pulse at the base of her neck thundered. “Is he okay? The cat?”

“Kitty Fantastic?” she asked quietly, her eyes going from his hand to his face before slowly pulling away. She cleared her throat. “He’s fine. Just a bruised paw and a few cuts.”

“Tough little guy. Ninja with his nails, though.” Jonah looked in the cage, relieved to see the cat was okay. After a hiss and a few bite-me blinks of the eyes, Jonah looked up at Shay and found something else entirely. Not a single claw out. In fact, that take-no-prisoners expression she wore like most women did perfume was absent, and in its place was a shocking amount of vulnerability. And sadness.

“Right.” She pointed to the container in his hand and there went that smile again. “For you. They’re freshly made. Enjoy.”

He opened the lid and grinned at what was obviously store bought. “They’re doughnuts.”

“Fresh doughnuts,” she clarified. “I just opened the bag and you’re a cop, so I figured they must be your favorite. They’re mine too.” Which explained the bits of melted chocolate on her shirt. “I normally don’t share, but I wanted to give you a proper thanks for, well, you know.”

Yeah, he was pretty sure he knew, but he shook his head anyhow, because he liked watching her squirm. It sure beat the broken look he’d glimpsed a moment ago.

Her eyes narrowed and she gave him a long, assessing look. “You’re going to make me say it, huh?”

He didn’t speak, just crossed his arms and leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb. After years of interrogating some of the toughest criminals, he could out wait just about anyone. All he had to do was give her that silence everyone always seemed desperate to fill and she’d talk. So he popped a doughnut in his mouth and waited, biting back a chuckle when she watched him chew—her lips mimicking his. He considered offering her one, but that would defeat the purpose.

With a frustrated huff, she closed her eyes. Oh yeah, she was going to get all worked up and put herself into a mood. Sick guy that he was, he was looking forward to it. Only when she opened her eyes, they weren’t lit with fire, they were suspiciously shiny.

“I wanted to say thank you,” she said, clearing her throat. “For calling Ms. Abernathy. And for posting that retraction in the paper. Yodel went to his home today and it was really awesome. Then I found a new application in my inbox asking about available dogs. The family isn’t right for any that I have now, but it was a relief to know people will still consider me when looking to expand their families.”

She looked away and, ah Christ, there went the first tear. It slid down her cheek and dropped to the floor. She wiped at it as though she was just as startled by its appearance as he was.

“I don’t know why I’m . . .” She pointed to her tears, which were coming faster.

“A rough week, remember,” he said, setting the doughnuts on the porch rail and stepping closer, the door clicking shut behind him. “And it must be hard saying good-bye.”

“It’s always hard,” she whispered. “I tell myself that it will get easier, but it never does.”

“I know.” He ran a thumb beneath her lashes, then leaned down and lightly brushed her mouth with his. He felt her eyes flutter shut and her body sway into his—amazed at how incredible she was.

What she did was hard, and tore her to pieces, but she kept doing it. Putting herself out there, setting herself up for the pain, because her belief in what she was doing was stronger than the fear of being hurt. It was a testament to just how strong she was.

But right now she felt small and fragile, her body trembling against his. Jonah could have deepened the kiss, but he knew that what she needed right then was a different kind of connection. A deeper one.