Need You for Always (Heroes of St. Helena)(44)
No. Matter. What.
You were right,” Emerson said, polishing off the bread pudding and leaning back to rest her elbows on the steps behind them. “That was exactly what I needed.”
Although Dax loved to hear her admit that he was right, because he knew just how hard that must have been for her, he had to admit, silently to himself, of course, that he hadn’t come here with the purest of intentions.
Okay, he’d totally come here to take her dress and shoes up on that offer they’d been sending him all night. Only he’d seen her walking home in the freezing cold, her shoes in her hand, a lifetime of worry in her eyes, and he’d changed his plan. Gone from thinking with his dick to thinking like a friend.
Then she sat on the step, with only a few inches separating them, and her dress shifted up her thighs, showing him enough silky skin that “friend” became the last thing he was feeling.
“It’s crazy. I didn’t realize you could see so far from here,” Emerson said, taking a sip of her hot cocoa and staring out past downtown at the faint glow in the distance. “Is that Oakville?”
“Yup,” Dax said, leaning back too. “If you go up a step the trees block your view, and if you go down a step the buildings on Main Street do.” He knew this because, embarrassingly enough, he’d tested out each step for the perfect inspiring view, hoping it would lead to an inspiring view of her bedroom.
Instead of a hot game of Let’s Tangle the Sheets, though, Dax was sitting on a cold concrete step eating bread pudding with raisins, which weren’t as bad as he’d thought—they were worse—and he was enjoying himself.
How crazy was that?
She smiled up at him, and man, she was gorgeous. Calm, relaxed, in the moment, and so unbelievably gorgeous it was hard not to stare. “I can’t believe I have never noticed that.”
“If you stop moving long enough, you start to see things you never noticed were there before,” he said, knowing how true that statement was. Until tonight he’d never noticed just how hard Emerson worked to keep her world moving. And just how tiring it must be to have all those people counting on her.
She laughed. “If I slow down, everything crumbles.”
“In my job, it’s imperative to slow down, see all the options. That’s when everything comes into perfect view. Things that seemed impossible are suddenly crystal clear, and avenues you thought were a waste of time end up being golden opportunities.”
“Like what?” she asked, nudging his shoulder with hers. “Like handing out vibrators to a bunch of grandmas?”
He nudged back until she was smiling. “You could have warned me.”
“And take away that golden opportunity? Nah.”
“Make fun if you want, but look.” He leaned forward and pointed between the buildings. When she bent down to see what he was pointing at, he put his arm around her shoulder to help guide her. And yeah, it was a total kid move, a way to get his hands on her, but she didn’t seem to mind, so he went with it. “Right there through the alley you can see town hall, and where you park your cart on Mondays. But if you move up . . . see that flashing light there.”
She straightened to look where he was pointing over the rooftops, nibbling that lower lip of hers and squinting. “That cluster of stars?”
“No.”
He drew her closer, until his lips were next to her ear and her hair was brushing his jaw. “There,” he whispered. “The blinking lights past Oakville. That’s the airport in Napa, and a plane getting ready to land.”
“Really?” she whispered. “I would have just passed it off as a star or something. What else do you see?”
She turned her head and aimed those long lashes his way and bam—he saw more than he’d anticipated. Her normal sharp edges were frayed, her mascara was slightly smudged, her eyes bruised, and she looked adorable. Soft, messy, and completely vulnerable.
No, he thought, looking deeper. She looked lost, as if she was asking him for clarity. The most independent woman in the history of the world. And didn’t that make his heart show its soft underside.
“Want to tell me what that call was about?” he asked.
“Not really,” she said, but he held firm, didn’t give her a way out, which had her eyes sparking. “You want to tell me what Jonah was talking about earlier?”
That would be a big, fat negative. Talking about the job would require talking about why he couldn’t take the job. And that was not a conversation he wanted to get into with someone who couldn’t understand.
But she was looking at him, smug now, as if to say touché, and those walls of hers were going back up.
“Fine,” he relented because he knew he wasn’t the only one out of his comfort zone. They were both extremely private and ridiculously stubborn, so if someone didn’t back down, this conversation would end before it got started. And for whatever reason, he wanted to talk. To her. See what could have rattled her so badly tonight. “I’ll answer your question, then it’s your turn.”
“Is that the adult version of Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine?”
“Let me guess, Derek Mather tried that game too?” he asked and she laughed. It was a great sound, a movement that lit her whole face. Dax considered it a small victory since she’d seemed so down when he’d seen her walking toward the stairwell.