Naked Love(97)

I try to roll my eyes, but I’m too weak, too nauseous. Condoms? No. We didn’t have condoms. We were so fucking irresponsible, I can’t even come up with a good reason. It just didn’t feel real. The whole trip was just … not real.

It’s feeling mighty real right now.

“Because I kinda sorta took my pills, and as a result, I have two kids and a third one on the way.”

“You don’t have endometriosis,” I grumble.

“When was your last period?”

“I’m irregular, so that doesn’t mean anything.” I close my eyes like our conversation is over, but really I’m thinking.

Thinking hard.

The more I think, the more nauseous I feel. It was … before the chocolate incident. I think. No after. Gah! I don’t remember. They only last a few days. I was a mess. I’m still a mess. But it’s been after Anthony.

“Do we know who the daddy is?”

“What?” I open my eyes again.

“Is it Jake or Anthony?”

I shake my head, rubbing my temples. “I’m not pregnant.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” She stands. “Be right back.” Sydney leaves the room, yells down to Ocean to turn on a movie until she’s done helping Aunt Avery with her tummy.

I’m not pregnant. No. It’s a virus. Or cancer. Or some awful parasite I picked up from bathing in unclean water.

Not. Pregnant.

“Come tinkle on this.” Sydney holds up a pregnancy test. “I have two left. They’re both yours.”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Then the test should be negative.”

“He’s leaving for Milwaukee on Saturday. And he’s a liar. And …”

Sydney grins. “He’s your baby daddy.”

I roll over, putting Sydney at my back so she doesn’t see my tears. But my body shakes with emotion.

“Ave … no …” The bed dips again as she crawls in next to me and hugs my back. “A baby, Ave. You could be having the one thing you didn’t think you’d have. And I know you want this. I’ve seen you with Ocean and Asher. You are so good with them. You have so much love to give.”

The nausea. The fear. The feeling of complete failure.

“I’m not married … and I don’t even have my own place to live. And I don’t h-have a g-good job … The timing is all w-wrong.”

“No. Nope. No way … You cannot talk to me about bad timing. Hello? You’re talking to the queen of bad timing. But, in case you haven’t noticed, my life is perfection. All the bad timing, all the pain, all the missed opportunities … they led me to here.”

I stare at the gray-blue wall while my sister hugs me.

A baby.

“Give me those sticks.”





CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT




Jake


She doesn’t call or text. Part of me feels like I should try harder to make things right with her, but a bigger part of me feels like she needs space. It’s what brought her to my place the other night. I have to believe it will bring her to me again.

Maybe not today.

Maybe not even in a few weeks.

But … eventually.

I will wait. I’ll wait forever.

“When should we expect you again?” Seth asks as I close the tailgate to my truck, relishing the last day of balmy salt air as the sun stretches over the horizon.

“Hard to say. Couple weeks? Couple months?”

He chuckles. “What’s that supposed to mean? Why would you be back in just weeks? To check up on Aspen. She’s definitely worth checking up on.” He winks.

I give him a lifted brow. “Behave.”

He salutes me. “Would your indecisiveness have anything to do with her?” He nods to something over my shoulder.

It’s Avery pulling in next to my truck.

“Safe trip, man.” Seth pats me on the shoulder before heading back around to the cafe.

She came to say goodbye. That’s something. I think …

Slipping my hands in my front pockets to keep them from grabbing her and kissing her into submission, I make my way to her car as she gets out. Of course she looks amazing in her fancy jeans, silver flats, and pink zipped hoodie. No makeup, maybe just some gloss on her lips.

I’m dying. How the hell do I leave her?

“Hi.” I smile.

She shuts the door and shoves her hands into the pockets of her hoodie, shoulders high, chin tipped down. “Hi.”

“I was just getting ready to pull out. Good timing. I’m surprised you’re out of bed.”

She glances up at me, wearing something between a smile and a cringe. This isn’t good. I don’t like that look. It’s the nice-knowing-ya look.

“I figured you’d leave early, and I didn’t want to miss you because …” She draws in a slow breath.

My chest aches. She’s telling me goodbye, but not a for-now goodbye. A forever goodbye.

“There are words to be said before you go.”

“Words …” I echo her, trying to mask my defeat, trying to pretend that I don’t know exactly what she’s going to say. I shouldn’t have lied about Mo. It was impulsive and risky. I just needed to know if I mattered to her anymore. I needed to see if there was even a twitch of jealousy.