My So-Called Bollywood Life(16)

No, she thought. This was her only chance. Holding her fear like Nargis held farming equipment in Mother India, she opened the door.

“Raj?” she called out.

    “What the hell?” Raj said, yanking at his zipper. His words accompanied the sound of a flush. “What are you doing in here?”

She locked the door with one sweaty hand. “I came from Mr. Reece’s office, and he said that I had to make you listen, so I guess we’re going to talk here.”

He took a step toward her. “I need to—”

“Stop right there.” She planted herself, legs spread, in front of the door. “I have something to say to you. How is it that your entire fan club knows that you’ve broken up with me, but I had to assume since you won’t tell me to my face?”

He flinched. “You broke up with me before you left.”

“I asked for a break, not a breakup—”

“A break means we broke up. You pulled a Sarah Marshall on me.”

“No way! You were the Sarah Marshall, since you went off to be with someone else. You were a great boyfriend and I thought maybe we could see what happened when school started, but now you won’t even freaking talk to me.”

“Winnie, do you even listen to yourself?” He flung his hands out, his eyes wide. “Do you see what you’re doing right now?” He motioned to the pale blue tiled walls and urinals. “You take my movies—”

“Only the ones I bought you, and my parents are making me pay for them since I don’t remember where I buried them.”

“—and then you bust in here!”

    “I’m doing this because the film club and the film festival are important to my future even though they aren’t important to yours anymore.”

“That’s because even though I love you, I grew up, Winnie!” he shouted.

The bathroom filled with silence.

“I grew up,” he said again, this time more softly. “Bollywood is not a way of life. It’s an industry, a career, and it doesn’t make good money. This fantasy dreamland you live in doesn’t exist. It took me a long time to realize that. That’s why I’m going to a different school, and doing different things. That’s what I asked you to consider at the beginning of the summer. No matter how much you love movies, I thought you’d be more practical and realize that your love for movies…is a hobby.”

Winnie wiped away the tear that traced the curve of her cheek. His words stabbed her heart. She’d never thought that Raj believed the one thing she loved to do more than anything in the world wasn’t worthy of a career.

“How could you have ever been the one for me if you didn’t believe in me? I’m glad we aren’t together anymore, because I expect more from my boyfriend.”

“Winnie, I’m trying to be a little realistic here—”

“No. You’re giving up. Why are you even in film club if you feel that way about movies?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I need the credit for my college application,” he murmured.

    “What! What did you say?” She wanted to barrel her fist into his stomach. “We used to hate people who joined film club for credit.”

“No, you hated people who joined for credit, and I just agreed with you because it was easier than telling you not to make such a big deal out of it.”

“So you lied to me? Did you lie about believing in the prophecy, too?”

“What? No! I did everything I could to convince you that we were destined to be together like we were told when we were kids. I bought you that bracelet your parents kept talking about. Isn’t that proof enough that I tried to make this work?”

Winnie clamped her trembling hands on his shoulders. “Buying me a bracelet doesn’t make me believe in you, any more than it makes you believe in me. I’ve held on to it for a week because I needed time to process what happened between us, but now I know I have to give it back. First, I want to hear you say it. That you’re the one breaking up with me. Reading it on Facebook doesn’t count.”

“I…can’t.”

“Why?”

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. She shuddered at the contact: the cool sensation of his skin was so familiar, but hazy like a distant memory.

“Because I missed you,” he whispered. “As crazy as you are, I missed you. Watching you during the meeting this week, looking at you now, I still have hope.”

    “But you’re with Jenny now.” She stepped back, rubbing her damp palms against her jeans. The words coming out of Raj’s mouth didn’t make any sense.

“Yeah. Jenny is different. She’s…not the firestorm you are. I needed to be with someone like that to understand what I had with you. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Winnie. I’m realizing the mistake I made. Maybe subconsciously I thought you would see Jenny and me together and—”

“No.” Winnie cleared her throat. This couldn’t be happening right now. She had to get this script back on track. “Stay with Jenny. You’ve changed, and I’m still the same. Let’s try to make things work for the film club, which means answering my messages, okay? Also, Reece told me you’re trying to get some special judge for the film festival. What’s up with that?”