Monday (Timeless Teaser)(35)

But now he was ready to talk.

Are you outside?

Yes.

Be there in a second.

I pulled on my pajama shorts and put on a bra under my tank top. I didn’t bother fixing my hair or throwing make up on my face. He’d seen me like this many times.

The second I opened the door, the chilly air moved inside. It burned my warm skin the second it touched me.

Hawke stood outside wearing a hoodie and jeans. His breath escaped his nose as he breathed slowly. His blue eyes were glued to me like they needed to look at me in order to go on.

I opened the door wider and allowed him inside.

Wordlessly, he locked the door then followed me back into my bedroom. Marie’s door was closed, and I knew she wouldn’t even know Hawke was there because he usually left early in the morning before her alarm went off.

I got back into bed and pulled the sheets to my shoulder so I could be warm again.

Hawke removed all his clothes except his boxers, looking like a chiseled statue, and then moved under the sheets beside me. He pressed his chest into my back and hooked his arm around my waist. His face was pressed to the back of my neck, and every time he breathed, I felt the air brush against my skin.

My hand moved on top of his and our fingers touched.

Silence ensued.

The quietness of the house was disrupted by the typical noises it made. Sometimes the heater would make a popping noise when it kicked on. The washer in the laundry room would decompress, making a sudden squeak. I concentrated on the sounds because I couldn’t sleep.

Hawke’s chest expanded deeply against my back, irregular in comparison to his normal breathing. “My dad is a drunk. He’s been that way since I was born.”

I stayed absolutely still.

“I used to be his primary target. He would come after me with a bat, and sometimes he would lock me in a closet over the weekend. I was the weakest member of the family, so I was easy to overpower. My mom did everything she could to protect me, putting herself in front of me to take the worst of it. But there was only so much she could do.”

My eyes watered slightly at his words but I forced my breathing to remain the same. I didn’t want him to know how hurt I was. If I made any sudden movements, he might stop talking.

“When I became a man, I was no longer the weakest one. Then he became afraid of me, as he should be. He stopped allowing me to come to the house, even on the holidays. I don’t want to be there anyway, but I don’t like leaving my mother alone. And now that I’m not around to take his torments…she has to.”

My thumb moved along his knuckles.

“I’ve tried getting her out of there, but she won’t leave. I’ve offered to take care of her and even let her live with me. She knows I’ll protect her…but she still doesn’t budge. He comes over and apologizes for what he’s done. And every time, she believes he’ll really change.” He took another deep breath. “She calls me to come get her when things get really bad. But sometimes…I think she’ll be dead by the time I get through the door.”

I closed my eyes and felt the droplets pool into a ball before they slid down my face. I forced myself not to cry. That would only make Hawke feel worse. His words echoed in my mind long after he said them, and every time they replayed, they sounded worse. “My mother died from ovarian cancer. Two weeks later, my dad shot himself.” He opened up to me, and I thought the best thing I could do was reciprocate.

His arm flinched slightly as it hugged my waist and his breathing changed. After a moment of silence, he turned me around and forced me to face him. I did my best to hide the pain on my face, but seeing his reaction told me he already saw it. Chest-to-chest, we stared at each other. Hawke looked at me in a new way, like it was the first time he really saw me. I felt like a new person, someone who penetrated another layer of his armor. His hand moved up my back as he pressed his face close to mine. “I didn’t tell you that just because you saw what happened. I wanted to tell you.”

“I know…”

“And I know you wanted to tell me.”





CHAPTER ELEVEN





Hawke

Axel was on his third beer. He could drink every day if we didn’t have work in the morning. He was almost thirty, but he drank like he was twenty-one. “That new intern Patricia is really cute.”

Who? “I haven’t met her.”

“Yes, you have,” he said with a laugh. “She was in our meeting this morning.”

She was? “Oh yeah…” I was still drawing a blank, but I didn’t care enough to try and picture her face.

“Christmas is coming up. Do you have plans?”

I hated Christmas. It only reminded me of how alone I was. “No.”

“Yaya invited you over. You’re welcome to join us for the break.”

I was hoping I’d get another invite. Yaya was a sweet woman and made me feel welcome the second I walked in the door. But the person I really wanted to spend the holiday with was Francesca. She was the only person in the world who really knew me. “I’d love to.”

“Cool,” Axel said. “Now I don’t have to spend every waking moment with my sister.”

“Frankie is really cool.” I wasn’t used to calling her by her name. I only called her Muffin. Now it was so habitual, I didn’t even think about it.