Mistakes Were Made(32)

Erin was grateful for the interruption, but she hoped Adam hadn’t noticed the way she took a giant step backward upon hearing his voice. She hadn’t realized they had been standing so close. She went back to the punch while Adam resumed a conversation he’d apparently begun earlier with Cassie.

“I’m serious about the recommendation,” he said. “I’d be happy to write you one. It would help to have someone outside of academia speak up for you, and I’m happy to say I’m somewhat well-known.”

Erin rolled her eyes as she added lemon juice to the ginger ale–cranberry juice mix. Adam and his fucking opinion of himself.

“I think it’s probably more important to have someone who knows my work and what I’m like,” Cassie said.

Erin recognized the forced politeness in her voice. She’d had to use the same tone plenty of times when talking to men in medicine.

“I don’t know—I write a mean recommendation letter.” Adam chuckled. “And I know being female will help you when it comes to admissions, but you need more than the diversity boost.”

The cap of the lemon juice bit into Erin’s hand as she tightened it with more force than required. Surely her ex-husband did not just say that.

“You’re not going to get into Caltech just because you’re a girl. If we could—”

Erin absolutely could not let him say one more word. “Adam?” He looked at her like he hadn’t realized she was in the room. At least that meant he didn’t notice how close she’d been to Cassie earlier. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

She didn’t wait for him to reply, just turned and walked into the pantry that connected to the kitchen. She squeezed her fingers into fists to keep her hands from shaking.

Adam followed eventually, and Erin whirled on him as soon as he was in the small room.

“What are you doing?”

He took a step back. “What do you mean?”

Erin pressed her lips together and flexed her fingers wide. “Did Cassie ask you for a recommendation letter?”

Adam narrowed his eyes. “I offered.”

“Seriously, Adam?” Erin’s voice snapped, and it was probably too loud—Cassie could be listening, the door to the pantry not fully closed.

“What? I’m not supposed to offer to help our daughter’s friends now?”

This conversation was every reason Erin divorced this man. His calm, arrogant certainty.

“You’re not supposed to talk to a woman you barely know and assume you know better than her what she needs.”

“It’s not that I know better than her—”

“You’re right,” Erin said. “You don’t. Especially if you’re going to act like she can only get into graduate school because she’s a woman.”

Adam scoffed and Erin wanted to strangle him.

“If the two of you would just listen—”

“Do you even know what she wants to study?”

Adam did what he’d done every time Erin won an argument their entire marriage: he held his hands up like she was attacking him and his voice went all faux ingratiating.

“Fine, fine,” he said. “I won’t push it … but if she ever wants a letter of recommendation from an industry-wide known engineer, give her my number.”

Erin absolutely would not.

When they left the pantry, Cassie was nowhere to be seen. Erin had to finish mixing the punch. She ignored Adam, who wandered back to the party.

Alone in the kitchen, Erin hung her head and leaned on the counter, palms flat. She and Adam got along well enough most of the time, but he drove her crazy when they disagreed. He’d always made her feel small when she tried to talk about problems. He was so certain in his own worldview, he made her feel like a fool for seeing things differently.

Whatever. Erin rolled her shoulders back and stood straight. She’d finish the punch and find Cassie and apologize, because Lord knew Adam wouldn’t.

But she couldn’t find Cassie when she returned to the party. Guests were shoulder to shoulder in the living room, Parker enthralling a group of them by talking about a cappella. It was more than halfway through the party, but there was still an inordinate amount of food on the dining room table. Erin stole a prosciutto-wrapped fig as she slipped past. The firepit in the backyard had only drawn a few guests. Erin didn’t have to venture outside to tell that one of them was Adam in his puffy black North Face. Cassie was nowhere to be seen.

Erin wondered if she’d overheard, worried she was upset. Not because of any feelings—she would’ve defended anyone against Adam being a misogynist dick like he’d been to Cassie. She just wanted to make sure the other woman was all right.

But her brother arrived then with their dad in tow, and Erin had to play the dual roles of wonderful hostess and perfect daughter.

“Hi, Daddy,” she said, offering her cheek for a kiss.

“Sweetheart!”

His coat was cold from outside on her bare arms as they hugged.

As always, her father’s first stop was at the food table. Erin teased her brother about his new haircut while their dad loaded up a plate for himself.

“Why do I even visit when you’re always so mean to me?” her brother joked.

“Someone has to bring Dad to see his favorite child.”