Minutes to Kill (Scarlet Falls #2)(22)

“Not really,” Hannah said.

“I’m here for you when you’re ready.”

“When did you get so touchy-feely?” She regretted the snipe as soon as it left her lips. “I’m sorry. That was bitchy.”

“I won’t let you push me away, Hannah.” He stopped in the middle of the parking lot. “Mom’s death was devastating. For me, it was a hell of a lot easier to fly in for two weeks a year and let Lee handle the family. We drifted apart over the years, but Lee’s death taught me that was a mistake. We all let him down. I won’t let that happen again. We need each other. ”

Hannah thought the opposite. To her, Lee’s death reinforced how much it hurt to lose someone she loved.

“After Mom died, I didn’t want to be here either, but now, raising Faith and Carson, being with Ellie . . .” Grant paused, as if the intensity of his feelings for his new family was too much to explain. “In a way, it was easier to sever all those connections and let my career take over. Getting shot at overseas was less scary than taking on the responsibility for Lee’s kids. But I didn’t know what I was missing.”

“Are you this determined to rein Mac back into the fold?” she asked in an attempt to divert the conversation to their youngest brother, who was the wildest of them all.

“Don’t worry. Mac is next on my list. After you.” Grant had their father’s piercing blue eyes, and the sharpness of his gaze pinned her in place. Hannah looked away, her lungs tightening until little dots appeared in her vision.

Her new phone rang. Royce.

“Hold on. It’s work.” She stepped away from a frowning Grant and answered the call as if she were in the middle of the ocean and Royce was tossing her a life ring. “Hello.”

“How are you?” Royce asked.

“Better,” Hannah lied. After the visit with her father, she felt empty, every drop of emotion wrung out of her body. This is why she stayed out of Scarlet Falls. Visits home drained her.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He sounded doubtful.

“Did you get my e-mail?” She could hear the sounds of traffic over the line.

“I did.”

“Well?”

“I’m not sending you anything,” Royce said.

“What?”

“You are supposed to be recuperating, not working.”

“I can do both.”

“Not this time.” Royce’s voice softened. “I’ll never forget how pale you were when I saw you in that parking lot. I thought you were dead, Hannah.” He paused. “I told you in Vegas. Your job will be here when you’re fully recovered, but I won’t allow your ambition to get in the way of your recovery.”

“But—”

“No buts.” Impatience sharpened Royce’s tone. “I care too much about you to let anything happen to you.” His voice deepened. “But I will say that I miss your company.”

Hannah had no words. When she went back to work, she and Royce were going to have a long conversation. She liked him in a professional, friendly way. That was it. She wouldn’t allow him to destroy her reputation.

“Feel better, Hannah. Maybe if you rest, you’ll be well enough to join me in Madrid.” Royce hung up, leaving her listening to an empty line.

She walked back to the car. Grant was in the driver’s seat. She climbed in, and he started the engine.

“Everything OK?” He backed out of the parking space and shifted into drive.

“Yes.” The lie came out of her mouth automatically.

Instead of driving off, he studied Hannah’s face. The car trembled, waiting for the brake to be released. Grant’s face tightened. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

“Then no.” Hannah rubbed the ache in her temple. “I don’t know.”

“If there’s one thing I understand, it’s total confusion.” Grant nodded as if her change of answer pleased him. He moved his foot, and the truck eased forward. “You’re going to get through this. Everything’s going to be all right.”

“That’s exactly what Dad said.”

“Lee used to say it, too.”

“I don’t know how they could both be such perpetual optimists,” Hannah said. “Dad was paralyzed, and he just plowed ahead, pretending everything would turn out fine, and we both know Lee had his share of problems.”

“He made the best of a bad situation.” Grant pulled out of the parking lot. “When you’re going into combat, you plan extensively for worst-case scenarios, but you can’t focus on them. To do the job, you have to believe you’re going home in one piece.” Grant released his grip on the steering wheel and shook his hand as if he’d been clenching it tight enough to stiffen his knuckles. Maybe he wasn’t as recovered as he seemed.

Hannah turned to his profile. “You don’t have to pretend with me either. How are you, really?”

“I’m all right. The VA hooked me up with a PTSD support group. But I miss Lee, and I worry about the kids.” A smile loosened his face. “Having Ellie helps. I’m going to ask her to marry me at Christmas.”

“That’s great.” Hannah patted his shoulder. She approved of Ellie one hundred percent. She was loyal, kind, and totally in love with Grant. How many women would be willing to take on a man with PTSD, a willful infant, and a traumatized little boy? “I’m so happy for you. How is living with her daughter and grandmother?”