Mine Would Be You (16)

My mind is running a million miles an hour as an instrumental song starts playing.

I let my eyes flutter close and take three deep breaths.

When I open them again, my skin is tingling with warmth. My eyes connect with those deep blue eyes, and my heart stops all over again.

Jackson has a lazy smile gracing his lips, and a look of ironic disbelief passes over his features. Like he can’t believe I’m here but isn’t mad that I am.

Sloan, all those months ago at brunch with her stupid blind optimism, was right. All I’m saying is you never know.

The odds of me seeing him again were, as Harper said, negative ten.

More realistically, negative twenty.

For him to be standing here, as Myles’s best man is absolutely mind-numbing to me. Part of me wants to scream. Part of me wants to laugh. Most of me wants to leave.

I don’t know what to do.

As I turn to wait for the arrival of Emma, I feel two sets of eyes on my back.

One sends yet another wave of nostalgia and sadness over my skin. The other is setting my skin on fire, like the tequila shots Harper gave me, coursing through my blood.

I’m not prepared for this at all.

The appearance of Emma and her dad getting closer draws me out of my spiraling thoughts. She looks prettier than the Facebook pictures I stalked. The dress is unreal. It’s off-the-shoulder lace bodice cinches at the waist and disappears into smooth white fabric in a mermaid style. Her shiny brown hair is half up, half down and flows down her back. As she looks up at Myles, her smile is soft and genuine. Light pink lipstick and soft make-up adorn her face.

Myles’s eyes have been completely focused on her, but when she turns away to hand over her flowers, they flicker to mine. It’s quick and fleeting, and if I wasn’t looking, I would’ve missed it.

They drop back to Emma as she takes her place, and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. My eyes flicker to Jackson as he stands tall and proud watching the ceremony.

The only explanation is that they met at University of Georgia, which makes sense. I heard almost nothing about Myles’s life when he was away. Between our off and on drama, I never asked. Rarely looked on social media because I became obsessed with what he wasn’t saying to me and the posts on every platform. I was anxious, and it wasn’t healthy. So how would I have known who his new best friend was?

How the hell is this my life?

My friends squeeze my hands tightly as the vows begin with Emma.

“When I went away to college, I expected to come out with a degree and a few friends. When we met freshman year, we were instant friends. And I thought if a friendship with you was all I got, then it would be enough. But when you asked me to be your girlfriend the summer after we graduated, I can’t explain the pure joy I felt that I would finally get to be with you.”

My heart stops in my chest as I register her words.

“You are the best part of my life. The gift that college gave me. And I’ll forever be thankful for deciding on that school and deciding on you. You help me when I need it and push me to be the best I can be. I can’t imagine doing life with anyone but you.”

I can’t hear anything else as the blood rushes past my ears, and Harper’s nails are digging into my palm painfully because she knows exactly what’s affecting me. All the back and forth, all the anxieties and insecurities I had, every time I asked what was different for four years straight. Why he didn’t kiss me as often. Why we didn’t talk about the future anymore, why the I love yous only came when he was drunk. Why we were constantly on and off again.

And when we officially broke up—for the fifth time—over spring break during his senior year, I knew what he wasn’t saying. Knew that the girl that was constantly off to the side or in pictures, the ones I did see, is the one standing at the altar. Maybe he didn’t truly cheat, I’ll never know, but I know that while he was creating something with her, he was destroying what he had with me.

While I was back home, wondering if we’d be the same or ever get back together fully. While I was still in love with him. He met Emma.

He was falling in love with Emma.

“He’s so full of—”

“Harper. Stop. Please. We’re happy for him.”

Happy is not the right word, but I’m hoping if I repeat it enough, I’ll mean it.

I see Harper pout out of the corner of my eye. Even though her words are harsh, and she mostly came for me, I know this sucks for all of us. Myles was all our friend for a good chunk of our lives. Even he and Harper were kind of close when they were younger. So even though she’ll never admit it, and part of her hates him now, I know Harper is sad at the loss of her old friend. That he wasn’t the person we thought he was.

Unexpectedly, while I am angry, more hurt than anything, a sense of closure also comes. I wasn’t crazy all those years. I wasn’t making things up.

My eyes flicker to Jackson, whose eyes are already on me, and recognition flashes in them even from here. Like he’s putting the pieces together, like Myles always mentioned an ex, and here she is in the flesh. The same girl he met months ago in a bar.

Myles’s voice draws me back. “You’re the love of my life, Emma. You’re it for me, forever and a day and more. I’ll always be there for you, when you need me to be and when you don’t. Life has been a whirlwind since I met you, and I hope it continues that way, with us holding hands through everything. I don’t care what happens, as long as you’re by my side.”