Midnight Marked (Chicagoland Vampires, #12)(81)

It didn’t bother me that they thought ill of me, as it didn’t come as a surprise. It didn’t even bother me when she walked toward us, stood protectively by Jonah. But it did bother me that she—and the rest of them—had so entirely missed the point.

“I do your work,” I said, and it only just occurred to me that that was what had bothered me about the RG all along. “Cadogan House does your work. We watch out for the vampires in this city, deal with the nasties that keep cropping up, and handle the human fallout. You don’t.”

“We’re a secret organization,” Noah said.

“Of which we’re all well aware,” I said. “But you aren’t even requesting private access to Cadogan House to attend meetings. You aren’t offering to contribute anonymously. You aren’t offering to contribute at all. Instead you’re stuck on this idea that I’m the enemy. Why would you think you have anything to worry about?”

“Morgan and Celina,” Horace and his girlfriend said simultaneously.

“You know what she’s done with the Circle,” he said.

“Celina’s debts to Reed have nothing to do with Morgan; he was innocent.” Or close enough for my purposes, anyway. “She was indebted to the Circle for millions. Had been for years. Morgan didn’t even know about it until it was too late. But I’ll bet you knew something, and yet you did nothing about it.”

The woman had the grace to look a little chagrined. “That’s more complicated than it sounds.”

“Oh, I’m aware of how complicated it is,” I said, anger starting to build, “because Cadogan House ended up in the middle of it. Cadogan House always ends up in the middle of it, and even when we’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”

I took an aggressive step forward, could feel them growing restless. “By contrast, nothing is exactly what you do. You want to fix the bad guys? Fine. But you should also be willing to help the good guys. Which we are.”

“So you say.” Horace’s expression wasn’t friendly.

“Damn right I say. And I’d be happy to go a round with anyone who says different.” I looked at Noah, decided that if he was putting me on the spot, I could put him on the spot, too. “Why did you invite me to join the Red Guard if you didn’t trust me?”

“He was dead when we invited you,” Noah said.

Silence fell over the room like a curse. Noah’s voice was flat. I didn’t think he’d meant to be cruel, even if the statement was crude. But more important, it was wrong.

“No,” I said. “He was alive when you invited me. I said yes when he was gone, because I couldn’t possibly have betrayed his confidence then. There was no risk to me that way. He wasn’t dead the first time I came to the lighthouse, or any of the other times since then that Cadogan House has stepped up.”

I put my hands on my hips. I hadn’t meant to come here and begin a tirade, but I found I couldn’t stop. I was too frustrated by inaction, by apathy, by their treating every issue as someone else’s problem.

“When the GP came knocking at our door, when the cops came knocking at our door, when Adrien Reed came knocking at our door, you weren’t there. So don’t give me bullshit about how you’re on the side of vampires against the oppressors. You pick and choose your battles. And you know what? I think you’ve decided Ethan and I are one of those battles because you think that battle’s actually winnable. I think you know the Red Guard is useless, that if you demonstrate you can control me, control Cadogan House, you can show you have balls. But that’s bullshit. The only thing you get out of it is pissing off the people who have worked themselves to death—literally—to clean up the messes you’ve been ignoring.”

“Looks like Sullivan’s creating his own mess,” the tall woman said. “He’s making a spectacle of himself with Reed.”

“Going to the Garden wasn’t the best idea,” I agreed. “Reed threatened me, wanted to get a reaction out of Ethan, and he did. Ethan knows it was a mistake, but the arrest was a complete sham. They’d spent maybe ten minutes talking. It was a show of power by Reed, because that’s the kind of guy he is. That’s why we need to be united. That’s why it’s crucial.” And it was a damn pity I couldn’t say that to Ethan and Gabriel right then. But one step at a time.

The woman opened her mouth to speak again, but I held up a hand. “No. I’m not done. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of conversations about me, and this is my chance to speak my piece. Here’s the question you have to ask yourselves: Are you going to keep wasting your time on me, on Ethan, when there are enemies out there with plans to bring the city to its knees? Instead of joining us, instead of helping fight, are you going to keep debating whether I’m the enemy? Here’s a tip: I’m not.”

“Big words,” someone muttered.

“Damn right they are,” I said. “And not easy ones. You’ve seen what Cadogan has gone through. I’m not saying it will be easy. But that’s not why the RG was founded, was it? To do what’s easiest?”

I didn’t wait for a response, but walked to the door, glanced back. I centered my gaze on Jonah, let it linger there. His eyes, crystalline blue, showed absolutely nothing.

“When you’re ready to get to work,” I said to him, “you know where to find me.”