Midnight Marked (Chicagoland Vampires, #12)(73)

And he still would watch and wait. Because nothing had been decided tonight. This had been the first round of a battle that had to continue. I’d see him again. He’d make another attempt.

“Am I done here?” I asked, glancing back at the uniforms. “I’d like to get back to the House.” Away from here, from trains and cops and onlookers.

“You are,” my grandfather said. “Would you like a ride?”

Normally, I’d have jumped at the offer, but I needed time to think. Time to process. A few minutes of solitude before I walked into Cadogan House, because God knew I wouldn’t get it then. I’d have to talk. I’d have to report. I’d have to tell.

“Actually, I think I’d like to grab a cab if you don’t mind.”

My grandfather squeezed my arm. “There’s nothing wrong with taking a few minutes to settle. You’ve earned it.”

“Do you think that’s safe?” Jeff asked.

“He’s long gone,” I said. “Too many cops around. And he won’t try the House tonight. Not after this. He’ll know we’re watching.”

“I don’t disagree,” my grandfather said.

“Let me get you a cab,” Jeff said. “Least we can do is make sure you get in it safely.” He walked to the curb, signaled for a cab, waited until one pulled up.

“You’ll let me know when you get home?” my grandfather asked, and put up a hand to stop any grumbling. “I know you’re a grown woman and can take care of yourself, but I’d appreciate it if you’d do me the favor tonight.”

“I will,” I promised, and gave him a hug, them climbed into the cab and pulled out my phone. I sent Ethan a simple message. I’M ON MY WAY.

I kept it short and simple, but I had little doubt he’d have plenty of things to say.

? ? ?

I had the cab drop me off at the corner. Even after the twenty minute ride, I was still procrastinating walking back in the front door.

I’d been a grad student. I could recognize procrastination a mile away.

Why stand outside the House? Why delay going back to the man who loved me? Because I felt so suddenly vulnerable. Stripped emotionally bare because the vampire who’d attacked me was back again. I felt like I was standing naked in a spotlight, blinded to the onlookers, knowing they were there.

And that wasn’t all. I felt that I’d failed because I’d let him go. Yes, that had been to save the life of a child, but it still ate at me. He was still out there. And he wouldn’t go away.

I could defend myself, sure. Would defend myself when we inevitably met again. But until then, there was waiting. There was feeling exposed.

That sent me back toward the House, toward the fence and the gate.

Tonight’s guards were two human women I’d seen standing sentry before. One was tall and leggy, with pale skin and a crop of pale blond hair. The other was shorter and curvier, with a strong body and dark skin, her dark hair pulled into a tight bun.

“House is on alert,” said Liv, the taller guard.

“Yeah,” I said, looking up at the imposing stone structure. “That’s my fault. Any problems?”

“Very quiet, actually,” said Valerie, the shorter guard.

I nodded. “I should get inside. Stay safe out here.”

They nodded, opened the gate just enough to allow me entrance. For the second time tonight, I listened to it work. Only this time, I was on the opposite side.

There were three supplicants in the foyer tonight—a man and two women. Their gazes flicked to me as I walked in, then back to the phones they watched to pass the time.

I nodded at the Novitiate who staffed the table as I passed, then walked to Ethan’s office. I paused outside the open door for a moment, steeling my nerve, and walked inside.

Ethan stood in front of the windows, hands in the pockets of his black suit, back to me. Malik stood to his right, a sheaf of papers in his hands.

Both looked back as I walked in, took in the torn clothes, the blood. The magic that poured through the room was a heady cocktail of relief, anger, and Masterly irritation.

Ethan looked at Malik, who nodded at some unspoken command. Malik situated his papers, walked toward me. He paused when he reached the door.

“You’re all right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

He nodded, left the room, and closed the door.

It took a solid minute for Ethan to say anything. And when he did, his voice was low and dangerous. “Would you like to explain what the hell you were doing, running off by yourself to chase a murderer? A man who’s already shot you once? Who killed a shifter in cold blood?”

I’d been prepared for Ethan’s anger. It was rooted in fear for my safety, and I could understand that. What Ethan feared, he would try to control.

But I found I wasn’t at all interested in apologizing, in bearing the weight of his heavy emotions. Mine were burdensome enough. So much so that I didn’t yet have the words to voice them.

Telling my grandfather and Jeff about this vampire, who he was to me—that was a report. Emotional, sure, but still just relaying the facts of what had happened, however hard it had been.

Telling Ethan was different. He and I were bound together eternally by this vampire, this careless monster who’d tried to kill me but hadn’t succeeded precisely because of Ethan’s intervention. Telling Ethan would be exposing myself all over again. Because he’d been there. He’d seen.