Mercury Striking (The Scorpius Syndrome #1)(65)

That quickly, that easily, the fear disappeared. Completely. Realization dawned through her. Jax wouldn’t sacrifice her—it wasn’t who he was. She blinked. “I’m sorry.”

His head jerked up. “For what?”

She rested her chin on her knees. “I’m not scared of you. It’d help a lot if I were, I think. But I’m not.” He’d been inside her, and he’d been gentle. She’d seen him be kind to a little girl, and she’d seen him mourn at a grave site. “You won’t hurt me.”

His eyes finally softened.

She breathed out.

“You’re underestimating my vow to protect my people, Lynne.” His lip twisted. “I don’t like myself much, and I’d hate myself if I hurt you. Yet I’ll do exactly that if it’ll get the job done for good.”

Her breath stopped again. Not because of Jax’s words, but because of the regretful tone. He meant it. Or at least, he thought he meant it. “I don’t find you very self-aware,” she murmured.

“How is there one ounce of na?veté in you after what you’ve gone through?” he asked. “Much of the blood permanently staining my hands is that of people I cared about. From childhood friends, to my fellow soldiers overseas, to my younger brother. Even the two kids I burned last night. You might want to keep that in mind.”

Not a fact she’d likely forget. “We made a deal. If I told you everything I know, which I have, you promised to kill Bret. I’ve kept my part of the bargain, and I’ve even given you Myriad, which might hold a cure.”

“You left out a couple of facts, darlin’.”

“Just because he’s the president—”

Jax’s cheek creased, but his half-smile lacked any semblance of amusement. “Yes. Killing the current president of the USA, Ripper or not, is an important fact. Don’t you think?”

She jumped in. “I’ve read your file. The military one without any redactions.”

He froze. Even his chest stopped moving. “Excuse me?”

She swallowed, holding her knees again, instinctively trying to make herself as small as possible. “A friend at the CDC had a friend in Intelligence, and when all hell broke loose, files were easier to obtain. You were a legend already, taking over L.A., and I needed to know more.”

Anger flared through his bourbon-colored eyes. Was anger better than nothing? Suddenly, she wasn’t sure, yet she pressed on. “You were Army Special Forces, nicknamed Delta Force, a real badass. You’ve killed high-ranking officials before. Maybe not ours, but still.” She’d sought him out for that fact as much as anything else. Bret was almost untouchable, and she’d needed a legend with a file like Jax’s.

“What was in the file?” he whispered.

She flinched as if he’d shouted. “Everything. Your background, your training, and your missions. Even your past relationships, but not why you entered the military.” He’d shared that with her willingly. Heat shot into her face. “I had to know before trying to escape the CDC.” Her gaze dropped to the faded scars running up his hand and arm. “I know how you got those.”

Fury lit crimson across his cheekbones. “Do you, now?”

She bit her lip to keep from apologizing. That would probably just set him off. “Yes. You were a hero.”

If possible, he looked even angrier.

She tried to calm him. The man had the worst case of survivor’s guilt she’d ever seen. “You couldn’t save them all, Jax.”

His head lifted, and his eyelids lowered, giving him a predatory look. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, I do,” she said gently, like she would with any wounded animal. “The bomb exploded, and you were thrown free of the Humvee in Afghanistan.” Yet instead of running away, instead of ducking for cover, he’d run straight back to the burning metal and shoved his arms through shards of glass to reach for his men, ripping his skin apart. He saved two of the men, but a soldier named Frankie Blake didn’t make it. “You tried.”

He didn’t answer, just kept staring at her.

A shiver cascaded down her body. “The psych reports said that you and Frankie were good friends, and that you blamed yourself for his death.”

“He re-upped because I had the year before.”

“A bomb isn’t your fault.”

Even sitting, Jax Mercury was all threat. “He was the first friend I made in the military when I was a scared, angry kid from the streets. I owed him, and I failed.”

“No—”

“And not any of this, not one thing of it, is any of your fucking business.”

She blinked. When she’d read up on him, when she’d pried into his private life, she hadn’t known they’d end up being together. Even so, the harsh words hurt. “Then let me go.”

“No.” He stood. “I told you that you were staying with Vanguard, and you should’ve listened to me.”

A whimper tried to rise up her throat, and she swallowed it down. Releasing her knees, she shoved to her feet. If he was going to restrain her, his balls would be inside his body before he finished.

Oh, she wasn’t delusional enough to think she could take Jax Mercury in a fight, but she’d make sure he lost the ability to ever reproduce. She bent her knees and lifted her arms, closing her fingers into fists.