Maybe Someday(69)

believe that those who are musically gifted seri-

ously lack talent in the kitchen-skills department.

Sydney and I work really well together when it

comes to writing music, but our lack of finesse

and knowledge when it comes to mixing a few

ingredients together is a little pathetic.

391/692

She insisted that we bake the cakes from

scratch, whereas I would have grabbed the boxed

mixes. But it’s been kind of fun, so I’m not

complaining.

She places the third cake in the oven and sets

the timer. She turns around and mouths “thirty

minutes,” then pushes herself up onto the

counter.

Sydney: Is your little brother coming

tomorrow?

Me: They’re gonna try. They open for a

band in San Antonio at seven tomorrow

night, so as long as they get loaded up on

time, they should be here by ten.

Sydney: The whole band? I get to meet

the whole band?

Me: Yep. And I bet they’ll even sign your

boobs.

392/692

Sydney: SQUEEEE!

Me: If those letters really make up a

sound, I am so, so glad I can’t hear it.

She laughs.

Sydney: How did y’all come up with the

band name Sounds of Cedar?

Any time anyone’s asked how I came up with

the name of the band, I just say I thought it soun-

ded cool. But I can’t lie to Sydney. There’s

something about her that pulls stories about my

childhood out of me that I’ve never told anyone.

Not even Maggie.

Maggie has asked in the past why I never

speak out loud and where I came up with the

name of the band, but I don’t like to bring up

anything negative that might cause her even the

smallest amount of concern. She’s got enough to

deal with in her own life. She doesn’t need to add

393/692

my childhood issues to that. They’re in the past

and there’s no need to bring them up.

However, Sydney’s a different story. She

seems so curious about me, about life, about

people in general. It’s easy to tell her things.

Sydney: Uh-oh. Looks like I need to pre-

pare myself for a good story, because you

look like you don’t want to answer that.

I turn around until my back is pressed against

the counter-top she’s sitting on, and I lean against

it.

Me: You just love the heart-wrenching

stuff, huh?

Sydney: Yep. Give it to me.

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.

I often find myself repeating Maggie’s name

when I’m with Sydney. Especially when Sydney

says things like “Give it to me.”

394/692

The last couple of weeks have been okay since

our talk. We’ve definitely had our moments, but

one of us is usually quick to begin pointing out

flaws and repulsive personality traits to get us

back on track.

Aside from a couple of weeks ago, when our

writing session ended with me having to take a

cold shower, two nights ago was probably the

hardest time of all for me. I don’t know what it is

about the way she sings. I can simply be watch-

ing her, and I get the same feeling I get when I

press my ear to her chest or rest my hand against

her throat. She closes her eyes and starts singing

the words, and the passion and feelings that pour

from her are so powerful I sometimes forget I

can’t even hear her.

This particular night, we were writing a song

from scratch, and we couldn’t communicate well

enough to understand it. I needed to hear her, and

although we were both reluctant, it ended with

my head pressed to her chest and my hand resting

against her throat. While she was singing, she

395/692

casually brought her hand to my hair and was

twirling her fingers around.

I could have stayed in that position with her all

night.

I would have, if every touch of her hand didn’t

make me crave a little bit more. I finally had to

tear myself away from her, but just being on the

floor wasn’t enough separation. I wanted her so

bad; it was all I could think about. I ended up

asking her to tell me one of her flaws, and instead

of giving me one, she stood up and left my

bedroom.

The way she had been touching my hair was a

very natural thing for her to do, considering the

way we were positioned. It’s what a guy would

do to his girlfriend if he were holding her against

his chest, and it’s what a girl would do to her

boyfriend if he were wrapped around her. But we

aren’t those things.

The relationship we have is different from any-

thing I’ve experienced. Mostly because we do

have a lot of physical closeness based on the

396/692

nature of writing music together and the fact that