Maybe Someday(124)

laces our fingers together and presses them into

the mattress. He leans into my ear. “Want me to

stop?”

I quickly shake my head no.

He laughs softly. “Then you have to relax,

Syd.”

I bite my bottom lip and nod, completely lov-

ing the fact that he just said “Syd” out loud. He

runs his nose down my jaw-line, then brings his

lips close to mine. Every touch sends waves of

heat coursing through me, but it doesn’t ease my

apprehension. Everything about this moment is

so perfect I’m afraid I might do something to

mess it up. It can’t get any better, so that only

leaves things with one direction to go.

“Are you nervous?” he asks. His voice brushes

across my mouth, and I slide my tongue over my

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bottom lip, convinced that I could taste his words

if I tried.

I nod, and his eyes soften with his smile.

“Me, too,” he whispers. He squeezes my hands

tighter and then lays his head across my bare

chest. I can feel the rhythm of his body rise and

fall against mine with every tense breath. His en-

tire body sighs, and one by one, each muscle be-

gins to relax. His hands are still, and he’s not ex-

ploring my body or listening to me sing or having

me tell him I love him.

He’s still, because he’s listening to me.

He’s listening to the beat of my heart.

His head lifts off my chest in one swift motion

as he locks eyes with mine. Whatever realization

he’s just had causes his gaze to pierce mine with

excitement.

“Do you have earplugs?” he says.

Earplugs?

I know the confusion can be seen in my ex-

pression. I nod anyway and point to the night-

stand. He leans over me, opens the drawer, and

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feels around inside. When he finds them, he

lowers himself beside me again, then places them

in the palm of my hand. He motions for me to put

them in my ears.

“Why?”

He smiles and kisses me, then trails his lips to

my ear. “I want you to hear me love you.”

I look down at the earplugs, then back up at

him questioningly. “How can I hear you if I’m

wearing these?”

He shakes his head, then places his hands over

my ears. “Not here,” he says. He moves a hand to

my chest. “I want you to hear me from right

here.”

That’s all the explanation I need. I quickly put

the earplugs in, then adjust my head on my pil-

low. All the noise around me slowly fades away.

I wasn’t aware of all the sounds I was taking in

until they no longer run through my head. I don’t

hear the clock ticking anymore. I no longer hear

the usual activity outside my window. I can’t

hear the sheets moving beneath us or the pillow

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under my head or the bed when he shifts his

weight.

I hear nothing.

He grabs my hand and opens up my palm, then

turns my hand around and places it over my

heart. Once my palm is flush against my heart, he

reaches to my face and brushes his hand over my

eyes, closing them. He scoots himself away from

me until he’s no longer touching any part of me.

He becomes still, and I no longer feel him

moving next to me.

It’s quiet.

It’s dark.

I hear absolutely nothing. I’m not sure this is

working out the way he imagined.

I hear nothing but complete silence. I hear

what Ridge hears every moment of his life. The

only thing I’m aware of is my own heartbeat and

nothing else. Nothing at all.

Wait.

My heartbeat.

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I open my eyes and look at him. He’s several

inches away from me on the bed, smiling. He

knows I hear it. He smiles softly, then pulls my

hand away from my heart and places it against

his chest. Tears begin to well in my eyes. I have

no idea how or if I even deserve him, but there’s

one thing I know for sure. As long as he’s a part

of it, I’ll never live a life of mediocrity. My life

with Ridge will be nothing short of remarkable.

He rolls on top of me and lowers his cheek to

mine, holding completely still for several long

seconds.

I can’t hear his breaths, but I feel them as they

fall against my neck.

I can’t hear his movements, but I feel him

when he begins making the softest, most subtle

shifts against me.

Our hands are still locked between us, so I fo-

cus on the beat of his heart, drumming against

my palm.

Beat, beat, pause.

Beat, beat, pause.

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Beat, beat, pause.

I can feel my entire body relaxing beneath him

while he continues to make the subtlest of move-