Mastering The Marquess (Bound and Determined #1)(49)

“Yes, Swanston.” Louisa curled her hands tight and then tried to relax one finger at a time.

“You’ve turned down two other men. Men that I thought were much better choices—and now you say yes to Swanston?”

“I do understand your advice. And I am not even sure that you are wrong. I hadn’t intended to say yes. Although to be fair, I hadn’t even considered the question because I never imagined that he was about to propose.”

“And why not?” Lady Perse let the question draw out and hang.

“It just didn’t seem imminent. With Lord Peter and Lord Walton I knew ahead of time—one could tell. I had a chance to consider my action and …”

“… and to say no to two perfectly respectable gentlemen. Men who suited all your requirements. I do not understand you, Louisa—unless it is that you wish to be a duchess someday. I know many who would put that before all else. Although who would wish to head that family I do not know.”

“I must admit to some fears about that. And I have never been one to pursue titles, but …”

“… but it never occurred to you that a man who took you riding twice a week for a month and danced two dances with you, one of them always a waltz, at every ball might be thinking about marriage.”

“It’s just that he never seemed that interested. He never … never tried to kiss me, or even held my hand for longer than it took to kiss it. I swear, sometimes it seemed like eye contact was too much for him.”

“Which is exactly why I don’t think he is a good candidate for you, Louisa. I know you have much more experience than most of the girls I advise on matrimony, but surely you want a man who has some interest in you?”

Again the question hung.

Louisa didn’t know what to say. How did she explain that although there was nothing said between them, no soft touches or kisses exchanged, there was something? Something she hoped she could bring out.

And he had the qualities that she wanted.

Dependable.

Steady.

Strong.

He’d be a good father; one only had to see how he managed his family to know that.

But it was more than that. It was the fact that after each of their rides or walks she went back home wanting. Even now she didn’t know all the words for what she wanted, but she wanted. She wanted desperately.

After they danced she felt scorched, although his fingers never wandered in the slightest from where they should be, although he never pulled her even half an inch closer than the dance demanded. He almost never held her gaze. He never whispered sweet nothings. He never indicated he wanted more.

She didn’t even know if he did.

But she did. She wanted more.

Even if she didn’t need love. She’d tried that once, and look where it had gotten her.

Right here.

“And when is this wedding to be?”

“In a week’s time. He has a license from the bishop.” Louisa dropped her eyes from Lady Perse’s penetrating gaze.

“You know what people will say.” Even without looking up Louisa knew that Lady Perse was staring at her waistline.

“Will they really?” She raised her face, wondering.

Lady Perse let out a sigh. “Oh, probably not. It is Swanston. You’re not the only girl he’s never tried to kiss. I believe there was some speculation about boys at one point, despite the fact that it’s hard to imagine a man such as he … Oh, it doesn’t matter. There’s never been any true talk that he held those interests. He just seemed to have no interest beyond managing the estates—and his family. I’ve heard the duke has despaired, rather publicly, that Geoffrey would ever sire an heir.”

Again Louisa did not know what to say. It was true that she had wondered if Swanston was truly interested in her. He’d certainly never given any indication beyond the continued invitations and requests to dance. What would she do if he didn’t care for her? Could she survive another husband who didn’t take to her bed?

Bother. She would not think these thoughts.

“Could you not put off the wedding a little longer? Give yourself more time? Or is your bridegroom so eager for the wedding night?” Lady Perse asked, breaking the silence.

“No. It must be soon.” Louisa carefully kept her tone neutral.

“So, the other rumors are true. Despite his fortune Swanston is need of funds.” Lady Perse stated it as a fact—not a question.

Louisa pushed her shoulders back. “Yes. He has explained his situation to me. We will have no secrets from each other.” That was far from true, but she spoke with quiet determination.

“So you are aware he wants your purse as much as he wants you?”

At least Lady Perse did not say more than. “I would not have put it in such a way, but yes, I know he has needs, and I am prepared to fill them.” Oh, if only she had meant that in another sense.

She still didn’t know why she had said yes—she had answered on instinct. It had felt right, felt like there was no choice. And she did like him. She didn’t always know why, but on some deep level she did care.

Now if only she could figure out the why, because she had said yes and there was no going back.



Tomorrow was the day. For the past week Louisa had fretted and worried—and longed. She’d never been so confused in her life. She’d made lists. She’d closed her eyes and tried to trust her feelings. She’d asked advice from everyone she trusted.