Marrying Ember(24)

Someone had taken electrical tape and spelled The Mediator on the side of the RV. I had no idea what that was about, but Monica and Regan seemed to be getting a laugh out of it.

Still confused, and feeling more nervous than I had in my whole life, I turned back to my dad, who was walking toward me, holding out his hand.

“Baby Blue,” he whispered as our hands touched. He wasn’t tentative in his embrace.

All anger and apprehension shot through the soles of my feet and spread across the earth around us as I cried heavy tears into his shoulder. Tears he, of course, returned onto mine.

It felt like every hug we’d ever shared, only this time there was something more.

“Dad,” I sniffed as I pulled away, wiping my nose and under my eyes, “I’m sorry for being such a bitch … I just …”

He put up his hand, ignoring the desperate need to wipe his saturated cheeks. “I know. I know. I expected you to be angry, angel, I did. I expected a fight. But, when you just, shut down, I … I thought I’d lost you.” He grabbed my hand again and led me to the picnic table, sitting next to me on the long, cool rectangular bench.

“Well,” I sighed, “as you know, it’s not like this came totally out of the … blue.” I rolled my eyes and grinned to let the irony of the statement pass. He laughed softly. “Willow’s been on my case about it for months.”

My dad squeezed my hand, his clover-colored eyes drowning in uncertainty. “Why didn’t you come to us right away?”

Why.

If there was ever any time to be honest, I’d learned over the last year, it was when you were surrounded with half-truths and lies. It was my chance to stand on my own two feet and own my feelings. Own my thoughts. Just. Own it.

“Because,” I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder, “I knew it was true. The second she said it, it was like my ears were flooded with the sound of a million things clicking into place …” I trailed off as my tears dried.

My dad kissed the top of my head as he wrapped his arm around my back. “How’d you know?”

I shrugged. “I mean, the eyes, I guess, but that wasn’t as solid for me as the other things. I always felt this strong connection with Willow. I knew how lucky I was to grow up with my best friend, and I often referred to her as “like a sister”, but she always just felt like a sister. There was something … just … more there.”

“What are you feeling now?”

“Well … there were half a dozen times before we moved to Connecticut that Willow and I always said we wished we were real sisters so we could move together, and never have to live apart.”

My dad cleared his throat. “Do you regret making that wish?”

With a deep sigh, I gave another honest answer. “No. It was confusing as hell, and still is a little bit. My knee jerk reaction was to conveniently toss everything you ever taught me about love out the window.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because if I hadn’t learned from you, I wouldn’t have Bo. I wouldn’t have had the strength to let him go when he needed me to, or the strength to get back together when we were both ready. If it hadn’t been for the kind of deep love you have, that all of you have, Willow and I wouldn’t have had the lives we did.” I sat up, looking him straight in the eyes. “I still have a lot of questions but … you know what? I think our love is stronger than all of those questions and answers combined. Don’t you?”

With a muffled cry, my dad pulled me back into a tear-filled hug. “It is, November. It absolutely is. And, when you’re ready to ask, don’t hesitate on a single one. I’ll give you every answer I have.”

It seemed like the more time I was spending with my family, the more solid ground I was given. Like going on this tour with them wasn’t just an exercise in going back to my roots, but a process by which I was given a sturdy pair of wings.

And, at that exact moment, every single one of my dreams came true.





Bo





As I watched Ember and her dad embrace on the picnic bench, Josh softly elbowed my side.

“Ready man?” he whispered.

I smiled, never moving my eyes from my future wife as she sat, unknowingly, only ten feet away. “I always have been.”

The whole crew had sought refuge in the RV I’d been waiting in when Ember and her dad started talking. During the whole emotional ordeal my friends were more than quiet. Maybe watching me for signs of cold feet, all of them knowing what was going to happen next.

I turned to Georgia, who was nearest the power source. “Hit the lights, G.”

With a grin that sent a twinkle to her eyes, Georgia moved to the end of the RV, and plugged in the extension cord.

I have to admit, I’d seen it once already, but the lights choked me up a bit. We used strings of white lights for many of our stage set-ups, so we always had totes full of them wherever we went. While Monica and Georgia distracted Ember all afternoon, Michael, Mags, and I strung as many lights as would fit between the trees surrounding the campsite, and crossways over them, creating a canopy of glowing white light.

As soon as the lights went on, Ember’s back straightened. She looked startled as her head whipped from side to side. Her father, holding onto the last bit of composure I’m sure he had, sat back, took a deep breath, and watched her.