Marry Screw Kill(69)

A letter to me? I raise up on my elbows and look at the envelope. My breath hitches and my heart begins to race. My name is written in my mother’s handwriting.

A surge of adrenaline rushes through my veins as I pop up next to Emma. She offers me the envelope and I take it from her hand. I turn it over and see it was once sealed, but the flap is now torn and jagged. Someone opened it and I don’t even have to guess the culprit. He has stolen everything from me, why not this letter?

With a shaky hand and a big you-can-do-this hug from Emma, I hold my breath and open the envelope. I pull out the papers and try to press out the stubborn creases.

I flip to the last page and glance down at the bottom before I begin. It says, With all my love, Mom.

I swallow fear, worry, and a hopeful excitement. I’m a crazy mix of wild emotions, but nothing is going to stop me from reading the words written in black ink.



My dearest Harlow,



If you are reading this letter, I am no longer with you on this earth. The very thought makes my heart break into a million tiny pieces. I love you more than life itself and nothing will ever change that.

I’m sorry to have left you unexpectedly. Don’t forget you’re a strong, smart, and beautiful young woman. You will find your place in this world without me, because a light like yours shines for all to see. I’ve been watching it grow brighter and brighter with each passing year. You are everything I hoped and dreamed you would be.

I am looking down at you from heaven as you read this letter. I promise you, it’s true, and our connection will never be far. Remember that in times of trouble. No matter what happens in this world, you are loved, and deserve to be loved.

All your life, I’ve hidden a truth from you. I must beg your forgiveness for keeping it a secret, but I had no choice; it was taken away from me before you were born. I was a young woman about your age and in love with a man. A part of my heart will always belong to him, but he deceived me. I found out he was married the same day I told him about you. Yes, he was your father. This man I loved. You have his beautiful blue eyes and quiet strength—the two things that drew me to him.

He couldn’t let me have you, because his entire world would collapse around him. Or that was his excuse. He was a prestigious lawyer with a wife and two children I had no idea existed. I swear. I volunteered at the women’s crisis shelter and met him one day while he was there with a client. One thing led to another and we started a passionate affair. I didn’t know it was an affair at the time, though.

He was always gentle with me, until I told him about you. Then he changed into a beast and wanted me to get rid of you. He threatened to do horrible things to my family if I didn’t cooperate. Life ending things, so I couldn’t take the chance.

He paid me for my silence, and to silence your life. But I just couldn’t do it. Something told me you needed to be born. So I fled to a place after hearing someone say Rochester is a town where a person could hide out and never be found.

It meant leaving my family behind and starting over with you—a decision I don’t regret to this day. The last time I saw him, I swore he would never see or hear from me again. It would be like I disappeared off the face of the earth.

I lived up to my promises as far as he is concerned. For your own safety, I had to. But now you need to know who your other family is. I don’t want you on your own.

I grew up in Park Ridge, Illinois. It’s a quiet place with quiet streets. I have no idea what my mother, Margaret McMasters (I dropped the Mc from my last name and no one ever questioned it) will say about me leaving her all those years ago. Please tell her I’m sorry and explain to her what happened. I pray she forgives me.

No matter what she thinks of me, she will open her heart and arms to you. In so many ways, you are like my mother. She always had a book open, too. My father passed away when I was in high school. He was a good man. I have a sister named Sara. We fought horribly. Just ask our mother. I hope you find them in good health.



Here’s the address I have for them.



I stop reading, because I can’t see through my damn tears. The papers drop from my hands and I collapse into someone’s arms. They are big and strong, and holding me so very tightly. I smell leather and wood as I press against a firm, solid chest.

Sin’s here for me, and I didn’t even hear him come into the room. I nuzzle in closer to him and he pulls me tighter.

A waterfall flows down my cheeks as I tilt my head to look up at him.

“I have a family, Sin,” I whisper through a big lump in my throat. He smiles back at me through his own tears.





Chapter Twenty-Eight


Sin



Staying up until three in the morning last night has finally caught up with Harlow. I’m hanging in there, but she’s leaning against my shoulder, fast asleep, as we fly from Rochester to Chicago. We are still holding hands like we were during takeoff. I am becoming addicted to the feel of her soft, small hands in mine. I try to recall a time when I just sat and held a woman’s hand in complete satisfaction, wanting nothing more. Nothing comes to my mind. Harlow is a first.

I am surprised she is sleeping, since this is her first plane ride. She was a bundle of nerves asking me question after question, and dutifully reading over the safety card tucked in the seat pocket. Maybe it was the hum of the engines that helped her drift off.