Make Me Yours(33)

Drew likes it because she can look for wedding dresses without all of Oakville knowing her business. I like it because it has a carousel for Lillie.

“Kissing your boss…” Drew teases as we watch the ride go around. “You’ll be sleeping with him soon.”

“I will not… although, he is packing some serious meat in those jeans. I swear to God.”

I want to see it. I want to touch it. I can’t stop thinking about it.

“So just get your own place and date him. You can still be Lillie’s nanny.”

“Can I?” I tilt my head to the side, trying to decide how I feel about that arrangement. “It seems weird for him to be paying me while I’m sleeping with him.”

“Get your paychecks direct deposited.” She laughs, and I crack a smile.

Then I sigh, remembering his hands on me, how easily he lifted me against the wall and devoured my mouth. How hard and massive his erection felt against my stomach. A little shiver passes through me.

“It’s not a bad idea.” I think about the check I deposited this morning on my way to Drew’s, thirty-five hundred dollars. It appeared in a business envelope on my dresser yesterday evening, while I was out avoiding him.

Holy shit.

“I can tell he doesn’t want me to move out. I kind of suggested it, but he shut it down right away. Me living with them was part of our original deal, I guess.”

“How come? Does Lillie have night terrors?”

“No… I don’t know… Maybe he likes having me close?” I try to think back to our first conversation, but my thoughts have gotten so muddled when it comes to Remi now.

All I can think about are his amazing biceps, his firm chest, those sensual lips, and that massive cock I want to ride.

“He said I would be there if Lillie needed anything in the night. It makes sense, I guess. He sleeps on a whole different floor. But so far she sleeps soundly all night.”

Another pass, and Lillie waves so hard, her little arm looks like it might fly off. Today she picked out a purple tutu with black and white striped knee-high socks and a long-sleeved tee with Elphaba from Wicked on it. She’s so adorable, and every time she passes, we smile and wave back.

Warm fuzzies are in my stomach, and no matter how heavy my thoughts, she makes me smile. I’m so fucking conflicted.

“I don’t want to stop being Lillie’s nanny. It’s not just the money. I really like that little butter bean.”

I look over at my friend, and she’s giving me a funny little smile. “You’ve gotten yourself in a real jam, my friend.”

“Thanks. I appreciate your input.” I shove her arm, and she starts to laugh.

“It’s going to work out. It always does.” Her eyes are dancing, and despite my mental distress, I love seeing her so happy. “What do you really want, Ruby Banks? You’re a grown woman. Now’s your time to decide.”

I think about her question. “I want to be able to take care of myself. I want to be confident in my choices.” The carousel slows to a stop, and we stroll to find Lillie running to meet us. “Maybe I do want to be a part of their life, but I want to be independent first. I want to make the choice.”

Drew’s lips press into a half-smile. “I think that’s perfect.”

“Well, stop it. I don’t like all this mushy stuff. Aren’t we supposed to be shopping for a wedding dress?”

“Oh! I found one I really like online. I think they have something like it at Second Acts.”

“Second Acts?” Lillie is holding my hand, skipping while we walk toward the pre-owned wedding dress shop. “I know you’re not making celebrity-nanny money, but why are you looking at used wedding dresses? That’s got to be bad luck.”

We walk into the store filled with racks of ivory and white gowns, along with a rainbow assortment of bridesmaids’ dresses.

“Princesses!” Lillie tosses my hand, and she’s across the store burying her face in sparkly satin and tulle.

“Stop acting like your mother all of a sudden,” Drew snarks.

“Bitch, you did not just say that to me,” I tease right back.

“Just, no more bad luck juju.” She catches my hand and pulls me close. “The markup on all this wedding crap is outrageous. I honestly can’t believe some of these prices.”

“Like that’s some kind of state secret.” I do my best to adjust my attitude and start sliding hangers across racks.

I’ll admit, there are some interesting options in here. Some don’t even look like they’ve been worn. Lillie is in heaven twirling around the colorful bridesmaids’ section, and I keep my eye on her as we shop.

“You need to do something casual with him.” Drew comes from behind a rack with three dresses over her arm. “To take the pressure off and see each other in a more friend-type way.”

“I’m not sure we can get much friendlier.”

A sales associate appears, reaching for Drew’s armload of dresses. “Would you like a room? Let me take these.”

Drew follows the woman, and I’m right behind her. “I mean more as friends, less as roommates who can’t keep their hands off each other.”

I shrug. “Sounds reasonable. What did you have in mind?”