Make Me Bad(75)

In some ways, I felt silly and paranoid. I didn’t want to wave the victim card and make the whole thing seem more dramatic than it was. I didn’t get hurt. He didn’t do anything to me, really. Now, I realize I was completely deluding myself. He did hurt me. Just because that trigger wasn’t pulled doesn’t mean his attack didn’t affect me. Now, I realize just how much relief comes with the knowledge that they caught him.

I need to sit down.

I turn for the dining room behind the kitchen and pull out a chair. Ben follows, concerned. I wave him off as I take a seat, unsure what words will come out if I speak.

“They’ll probably have you go down to the station.”

I nod, eyes focused on the woodgrain of the table.

“I’ll go with you.”

“Okay.”

“Madison? What’s wrong?”

“I’m relieved. I just don’t think I want to go down there. I don’t want to have to see him.”

Ben sits down in the chair beside mine, leans over, and takes my hands. “He won’t hurt you again.”

I sit quietly for a few moments, working through all the conflicting emotions starting to bubble up inside me. “Is it strange that I kind of feel bad for him?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to go down there and identify him and put him in jail. I don’t want to be the reason he’s there.”

“He did something wrong. You’re in no way to blame.”

To Ben, this is black and white.

“Right, but why’d he do it? Do we know yet? Maybe he really needed money. Maybe he was—”

“Colten arrested his brother last year. Apparently, this guy wanted to get revenge. You were an easy target.”

“Oh…”

I don’t have to look over to know his eyebrows are furrowed, his mouth tugged in a hard line. “You still feel guilty, don’t you? Why?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

He murmurs under his breath and I know I’m making him angry. It’s a hard concept to explain to someone.

Suddenly, he stands, taking me with him. “Let’s go down to the station now. I bet Colten’s still there.”

“What about Andy’s party?”

When we look over, Andy and Arianna are hardcore making out against the kitchen island. Andy is moaning against her mouth. Cups are clattering to the floor behind them.

“Baby, I’m so sorry I upset you,” he says hungrily.

Arianna is fisting his shirt.

Oh jeez. I cover my eyes.

They’re about to do it right there, in the middle of the party. I really hope her brother is still in the back yard.

Ben laughs. “Yeah, they won’t miss us. C’mon.”

I don’t fully understand Ben’s motives as we arrive at the police station and an officer directs us back to Colten’s desk. We find my brother sitting there with a day’s worth of stubble and three cups of coffee spread out across a mountain of paperwork. He looks exhausted.

“Madison,” he says, relieved when he glances up and sees us approaching. “I was just about to call you.”

I nod and glance over at Ben. What are we doing here? I don’t want to see the guy. I definitely don’t want to have to speak to him or anything. I know that makes me a wimp, but I’d rather go my entire life without having to confront him.

“I told Madison what happened,” Ben explains to Colten. “And I think she should see this guy’s criminal history.”

My stomach drops.

“What? Why?” I ask.

“Because you feel guilty that he’ll be put away for this one thing he did to you, like it’s not bad enough, but what if that’s not all he’s done?”

Colten snorts and shakes his head. “Give me a second.”

He types something on his computer, clicks around, types some more, and then swivels his monitor so we can see it. Scrolling fast, it still takes him a while to make it through this guy’s entire criminal history. Random words jump out at me: grand larceny, second degree felony, aggravated assault and battery.

Good lord.

It’s hard to catch my breath.

I really thought he wouldn’t hurt me! I really thought he had just fallen on hard times or…Jesus! I’m so naive!

What if Ben hadn’t been there?!

“Feel better now?” Colten asks. “This guy’s been causing trouble for years, Maddie. You don’t have to feel bad. Hell, we’ve had a warrant out for his arrest for the last few months, just haven’t been able to track him down. The bartender at Murphy’s tipped us off. If he hadn’t, your guy would still probably be out there.”

I’m fired up. Any guilt I felt before has now been set to flames. The ashes have formed a war paint I’ll use beneath my eyes.

“Where is he?” I ask, determined. “I’m going to punch him! How dare he put a gun to my head?!”

Colten smiles. “He’s back in the holding cell.”

I cross my arms. “Great, well you just go get him so I can give him a piece of my mind.”

Ben and Colten exchange an amused look. “Yeah, that’s not really how it works.”

“Well it does now. Where are your keys? I’ll do it myself.”