Majesty (American Royals, #2)(106)

“First of all, I never thought it would go this far, okay? I figured I would hang out with you a couple of times, just to prove that I had. I hardly knew you back then—the only thing I remembered about you was that you could be a know-it-all.” Ethan gave a helpless shrug. “But you surprised me, Nina. You weren’t at all what I thought you were, and I kept wanting to know more about you.”

Nina hated the way her mind kept sifting back through her memories. How many of them were real?

She crossed her arms, feeling cold despite the sunlight. “That night when you walked me home, and we kissed,” she heard herself say. “Was Daphne the one who called you?”

“I—yeah,” Ethan admitted. “It was Daphne.”

Nina tugged at her neckline, wishing she could get out of this prison of a dress. “So you were thinking of her the whole time.”

“I was thinking of you!”

At the raw urgency in his tone, she fell silent. Ethan swallowed and continued.

“I was thinking that I don’t deserve you,” he said quietly. “Nina, I’m not as confident as you. I wasn’t able to grow up alongside the royals without always feeling like I was less than they were, like I had something to prove. I guess I thought that if I kept moving, kept focusing on the next thing—the next AP class, the next scholarship, the next upward rung in my ladder—eventually I would climb high enough.”

“Climb where?” she exclaimed. “What did you want, Ethan?”

“I wanted to feel like I deserved things. Like I had earned them myself, and had just as much right to them as everyone else.” By everyone else, Nina knew he meant Jeff.

“But, Nina, you make me feel like I do deserve things. Not because of what I’ve accomplished, but because of who I am. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way you do—like you actually like me, as I am now, without excuses or complications,” he added. “You make me want to be a better person, just because I’m with you.”

Nina’s heart was straining against her ribs. She glanced away, to where the leaves in the orchard flashed a brilliant gold in the sun. The fragrance of the apples mingled with the heady, earthy scent of last night’s rain.

“How long?” When she saw Ethan’s confused look, she clarified. “How long were you obsessed with Daphne?”

“A long time,” he said bluntly. “How long were you obsessed with Jeff?”

She stiffened. “That isn’t fair.”

“Maybe not. But, Nina, don’t you see? You and I belong together! No matter how foolish this is, no matter how many years we spent chasing other people, we found each other in the end. Please,” he added. “Don’t hold my past against me. You’re the one that I want. Not Daphne.”

Far off in the distance Nina heard the low rumble of conversation. Probably gossip about the royal wedding, making its slow way through the capital. That was Washington, she thought: so crowded, so hungry, so merciless.

She lifted her eyes to Ethan’s. His face was pale and vulnerable in the afternoon sunlight. Nina couldn’t help it; she stepped forward into his arms.

Ethan made a strangled noise and pulled her in to his chest. He held on to her tightly—not as if he wanted to kiss her, but as if to reassure himself that she was still here, that she hadn’t run off and left him.

“Please believe me,” Ethan murmured, and Nina felt her resolve melting. She loved the feel of his breath against her skin.

“I do believe you,” she said at last, detangling herself from his arms.

He broke into a broad, relieved smile, but it faltered when he saw the look on Nina’s face.

“I believe you, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to trust you,” she explained. Not when he’d originally gotten close to her because he was following Daphne’s orders.

Ethan shook his head. “Don’t you see, this is exactly what Daphne intended. She attacked you like that because she wanted to break us up!”

“Just like she broke up me and Jeff at the last big palace event? I would say that history is repeating itself, but I’ve figured out by now that this is Daphne’s signature move!”

“She can be…very ruthless when it comes to the people she cares about,” Ethan agreed.

“I think you mean the people who are in the way of what she wants.” Nina bit her lip. “You know, I used to wonder why you and Jeff never dated that many people, even during the time he was broken up from her. Now I’ve figured out why! It’s because Daphne thinks she has claim to both of you. Whenever either of you gets too close to someone else, she swoops in to chase them off. And the worst part is, you let her!”

That hurt more than anything else: the realization that, in the end, the only two men Nina had ever loved had both been under Daphne’s thumb.

Daphne was like a spider, beautiful and insidious, spinning her webs around people with such dexterity that they never realized they’d been caught until it was too late.

“Please don’t let Daphne come between us,” Ethan said again. “There must be something I can do to prove that I’ve changed.”

Nina’s eyes burned, and she stared down at the walkway, tracing a crack in one of the stones with her shoe. “I just…I need time.”

“Of course,” he agreed. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right, to show you that—”