Magical Midlife Meeting (Leveling Up #5)(13)

“I’d never break a promise to you,” he said, running the pad of his thumb down the front of her throat.

Her eyes fluttered and she shivered, a shadow crossing her eyes. “I think I understand a little more of what it means to let someone trace down the jugular like that,” she said, but didn’t pull away.

“Oh yeah?”

“There was a moment today,” she said, “when the shifters got me down, and I had a blast of terror that they’d go for my throat. It felt like death was coming.”

He noticed Kace, his beta, threading through the crowd. When he neared, Kace clasped his hands behind his back and turned his eyes downward. He wanted Austin’s attention but knew better than to interrupt. Wise. Even a small intrusion wouldn’t sit well just now. It was why he needed to get her out of here. Get them both out of here.

This thing with Elliot Graves couldn’t have come at a worse time.

“Excuse me,” he said to Jess, then looked at Kace. “Yes?”

“Sir, the Janes are getting all riled up. The Dicks they’re with clearly don’t want to get involved, but it could get…ugly.”

“Get the Janes out of here. The Dicks will surely follow.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I did that,” Jess murmured, glancing down the bar. “I made them feel that way.”

Austin walked toward the door, sweeping her along with him. They exited the bar into the early evening, the light dwindling.

“Other way around, actually,” Austin said. “That Jane got you all riled up. On purpose, I believe. I didn’t use to know much about women, but I’ve learned a lot from an insightful and amazing woman I met last fall. A woman who shamed me into realizing I was a selfish jackass—”

“I’m pretty sure that wasn’t what I was saying…”

“—but I’m no expert. Still, I doubt she would’ve been so vocal about her desire for me if you weren’t sitting right there.”

Jess stiffened and sucked in a breath. She squeezed her eyes closed, and her steps faltered. “Please don’t talk about other women desiring you. I am…not well.”

“What are you, in a Jane Austen movie? You are ‘not well’?”

Her smile was grim. “That’s the only way I can describe it without sounding like a jealous teen. Jealousy stems from a lack of trust, but I trust you implicitly. A beautiful woman could crawl into your lap, and I would trust that you—” She stopped, hands balled up in fists, teeth gritted. “I’d lose my ever-loving mind, is what I would do. ” She breathed deeply. “What’s worse, I’d enjoy it. I would enjoy ripping her off you and beating her to a senseless, bloody pulp. I wouldn’t even feel guilty. I’d feel vindicated .” She shrugged him off and started walking again, heading to the parking lot out back. “I hate that I feel that way. It’s not right. That sort of possessiveness is abusive behavior.”

“Everything you’ve learned in a lifetime as a Jane is warring with your primal knowledge of yourself as a female gargoyle. It’ll take time to get used to it.”

She shook her head but didn’t say anything, clearly at war with her emotions.

“I’m tired,” she finally said as they reached his dirty Jeep with mud sprayed up the side. “My guard is slipping.”

“Your guard against what?”

“Reality? I don’t know. Just let me say things and pretend they make sense.”

He laughed and opened the door for her. “Ten-four.”

“It would’ve been disastrous if I’d attacked that Jane,” she murmured as he got in and started the Jeep. “She wasn’t my equal, and she wouldn’t have healed like a magical person. It would have been like a man hitting a woman.”

“I would like to see what happened if a man hit you.”

“Yeah, right. You’d lose your mind.”

“Not if he hit you, no. Only if he pinched your bottom.” He grinned at her, feeling a rush of adrenaline. In the past, he would have shut it down forcefully, worrying where it might lead, but this time he didn’t.

Austin had always worried he’d lose himself to his beast. That he’d become like his abusive, no-good father. They had the same animal form, after all, and he’d feared he’d fail in the same ways. But giving in to his feelings for Jess had actually made him stronger. And now, watching her wrestle with her own fear and uncertainty, he felt closer to her than ever. Because he’d been there. And seeing her in the thick of the same struggle actually made him less judgmental of his own floundering.

They were meant for each other; he truly believed that. She made him a better man, and he was uniquely qualified to help her cope with the violence of her creature. He’d lived with that darkness all his life.

“What do you want for dinner?” he asked, driving up the narrow mountain road to his home overlooking the valley.

“Anything. I’m easy.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Who?” She frowned at him, then her expression cleared and she gave him a dopey grin. “Ha-ha.” She rolled her eyes, then shook her head. “I’m slow tonight.”

“You’re too wound up.”

“I know. I’m worried about Elliot Graves.”