Mafiosa (Blood for Blood #3)(15)

I frowned, scolding myself for thinking less of the boy who had just been helping me. Nic was what he was; there was nothing to be ashamed of. He was a soldier. That was his calling and he was good at it.

Luca simply nodded. ‘We’ll follow you inside.’

Nic took his leave, grinning at me over his shoulder. ‘We’ll reconvene this afternoon?’ He left the question in the air, and when I didn’t respond, he sealed the answer with a wink. ‘This was fun.’

And then he was gone, and the door was falling shut behind him, and I was wondering if I could scale the walls of the barn and slither out through a window before Luca gave me the tongue-lashing that was so obviously building up inside him. Would it be worth the drop on the other side?

I raised my chin. I would not be afraid of him or his words. He wasn’t my keeper. He didn’t control me. I could do what I wanted.

‘I wanted to learn,’ I said evenly. ‘And you wouldn’t teach me.’

He didn’t even blink. ‘So you found someone who would.’

Why the hell did I feel so ashamed of myself? I hadn’t done anything wrong. Nic was proud of me. Nic was helping me. He was giving me the confidence I needed to walk this new path, and Luca was intent on taking it away. Screw that. ‘Nic wants me to be happy.’

Something flitted across Luca’s face. ‘Nicoli wants you to be like him.’

‘Would that be so bad?’

That look again – fleeting. I caught it that time. Betrayal. He thought I had betrayed him.

‘Say something,’ I said. ‘Give out to me if you want, but don’t just stand there glaring at me.’

Show me you still care. Show me something real.

The silence stretched out.

I just wanted it to make sense.

A muscle feathered in his jaw. ‘I don’t have anything to say to you, Sophie.’

And then he was gone. But the guilt remained, burrowing deep. I added it to the great, heaving pile already teetering inside me.





CHAPTER SEVEN


SNEAKING OUT




On Sunday morning, when everyone at the Falcone compound was getting ready for church, I sneaked out. Millie was parked in the usual spot, half-hidden by shrubbery around a giant bend in the road that dipped into a ditch about half a mile from Felice’s house. Her head was bowed, the light from her phone reflecting off her face.

A sense of determination came over me as I drew closer. I imagined a mask absorbing my features, the old bones of my personality clicking into place. I was getting so good at compartmentalizing, it was almost scary. I was learning to be like them. I was learning to be like Valentino.

I swung the passenger door open, and Millie jumped in her seat, her phone sailing across the car. ‘Holy crap Sophie-you move like the wind.’

‘Sorry.’ I slipped inside. ‘Are you ready to make our getaway?’

She raised an eyebrow at me, the engine already purring to life beneath us. ‘What else would I be doing on a Sunday morning except smuggling my best friend away from her new home with a bunch of murderers before they notice she’s gone and track her down via a chaperone who is most likely the boy I almost fell in love with but as it turns out was only using me for information?’

We pulled out on to the road, and Millie launched into her favourite pastime – unashamed speeding. I put on my seat-belt and gripped the sides of my seat. ‘Tunes?’ She turned on the radio, and cranked it up until the car was vibrating. ‘Now, I don’t want you to freak out,’ Millie shouted over the music. She always preferred to shout than to turn it down. ‘But as of this past month, I think something terrifying is happening to me.’

‘Oh?’ I said, matching her pitch.

‘Yeah.’ She nodded solemnly at the road. ‘I’m not sure yet, but I think, I think, I might be a Belieber now.’

I clutched at my heart. ‘Good God.’

‘His stuff is just so on point these days, what am I supposed to do? Not listen to it? Not sing along? I’m only human, Soph. A beautiful, hilarious, intelligent human.’

I fought the urge to hug her lest we both veer off the road and crash. ‘I’ve missed you, Mil.’

Millie snorted. ‘Geez, what’s it like in that hellish boy-filled mansion? It’s only been two days.’

I thought about the ice-cold treatment I had been getting from Luca, Nic’s eagerness to continue training me, how stuck in the middle I felt, how badly I burnt for the moment Valentino would give me my target, how guilty I felt for anticipating it. ‘Two days too long.’

‘Speaking of your somewhat strange living arrangement which I have solemnly promised to stop questioning but secretly always wonder about … How is your boo?’ She threw me a mischievous look.

I deadpanned her.

‘What?’ she said, innocently. ‘Is it “bae” now? Is that what all the cool kids are saying? Or would it be “murder-bae”?’

I shut my eyes. ‘Please do not refer to Luca Falcone as my murder-bae ever again.’

‘But it’s so funny,’ she protested. ‘He would hate it.’

Oh, you have no idea.

‘Yeah, he would hate it. Probably about as much as he hates me right now.’

Millie screwed her face up. ‘Why would Luca hate you? He practically escorted you into his family. Is he being an ass to you? Do you want me to get involved? Because I will take him down, Sophie, murder-bae or no murder-bae, I will take him all the way down.’