Mack Daddy(77)

“You stop, and you say, ‘Okay, here are those thoughts again. I know they’re just thoughts. I’m gonna let them be there and go play something I enjoy or have a snack.’”

“That sounds really hard.”

“It is…at first. But it takes time and practice. I’m gonna get you help, okay? You need to let me tell your dad, though.”

He suddenly placed his little hand on my knee. “No, you can’t!”

“I promise he’ll understand. His insurance might be able to pay for a special doctor who will help you understand that what you have is OCD and doesn’t mean anything bad. The doctor will do exercises with you that help you deal with this.”

“That’s what you did?”

“Yes. I went to a specialist who helped me. He saw people every day with the same exact scary thoughts that we have. And I promise you, Jonah, it will get better. You can learn to live with it. You should never be ashamed to tell me anything, okay?”

After a long pause, he said, “Okay, Frankie Four Eyes.”

When he smiled, it warmed my heart. I knew the pain and suffering he must have been enduring in keeping this to himself. Between his eyesight and OCD, Jonah truly reminded me of my younger self. Forget teaching, I felt my place right now was to help this little boy come out of his own mind.

I had no doubt that I was exactly where I was meant to be.





We had taken Jonah to a professional who’d officially diagnosed him with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The doctor described it as a thinking disease that feeds on self-doubt.

Apparently, my son had been suffering from it for at least a couple of years. The OCD, in conjunction with his generalized anxiety, had been making his life a living hell.

We had no way of knowing about the scary thoughts inside of his head. If it weren’t for Frankie, we probably wouldn’t have discovered it at all. I’d always known that her presence in my life was a blessing, but I could never repay her for what she did for my son. Even though he still struggled with his OCD, Jonah no longer felt ashamed.

My house in Massachusetts had finally sold. We’d just moved out of the apartment and into a brand new townhouse in Alexandria. Surrounded by boxes, our lives seemed to be in chaos. But despite the physical clutter, I’d never felt more at peace.

Frankie was getting dressed for our first night out since the move. She was looking at herself in the full-length mirror and had no idea I’d been watching her. She turned around to look at her ass in the dress, and all I could think about was how I couldn’t wait to see that beautiful body pregnant with my baby some day. Experiencing that with her would seem like going through it for the first time, since I’d been in denial up until Jonah’s birth. I couldn’t wait to experience life with her and continued to be so grateful for the second chance.

“I really want to knock you up.”

Startled, she shook at the sound of my voice.

“Well, I can’t say anyone else has ever greeted me that way before.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“You didn’t mean to?”

Wrapping my arms around her from the back, I said, “I was just thinking about how much I love you and how badly I want us to have our own baby someday.”

“Someday…or now?”

“I would knock you up now if you’d let me.”

Frankie turned around to face me. “Really?”

“Why does that surprise you?”

“I don’t know. We’ve never discussed it. I guess, I just always assumed that you wanted to focus on Jonah for a while.”

“That will always be the case, won’t it? There’s nothing more that I want in this world than to make a little human with you. I think a baby would be exactly the glue that this broken family needs right now. A sibling might also give Jonah something positive to focus on. But I would never expect you to agree to it until you’re ready, whether that’s next year or five years from now. I was just thinking out loud.” I kissed her on the forehead. “You look shocked.”

“Actually…this might sound crazy, but lately, I’ve been thinking about how much I really want a baby with you, too. I was afraid to tell you how badly I wanted it, because I’d assumed it was too soon.”

“Don’t ever be afraid to ask me for what you want. Chances are, I’ll want it even more, especially if it makes you happy. And especially if the process to get there involves lots of sex with you.” I looped by finger under the strap of her dress. “So, should we get started, then?”

“Isn’t this a little ass backwards?” She laughed.

“What do you mean?”

“Shouldn’t we get engaged first or something?”

“Oh…sure.” My heart started to pound as I reached into my back pocket. “Hang on.” I took out the small velvet pouch I’d been carrying around with me every day for weeks.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“It is, Frankie. I’m not gonna be pulling a pendant out. That would suck.”

Her eyes widened. “You were going to propose tonight?”

“Not sure. I’ve carried it around every day in case the right moment comes up.”

“Now? Now is the right moment?”