Mack Daddy(43)

I wrapped my arms around his neck to embrace him. His heart was beating even faster than mine.

“Your heart is beating so fast right now, Mack.”

“Just believe what it’s telling you. Alright?”





The days after Mack left were tough. His promising words and the sound of his heartbeat were fading away with each passing day as worry began to consume me.

Left alone in the apartment, I spent my days waiting. Waiting for his calls. Waiting for him to show up at the door.

He’d called me a couple of times from D.C., but it didn’t take a genius to know that something was really off in comparison to how we’d left things. The sullen tone of his voice whenever he would call, the brevity of our conversations, told me that something had changed. Something had happened in D.C.; I just didn’t know what. And honestly, I was afraid to ask.

A surprise visit one Tuesday afternoon confirmed my suspicions were correct.

I would never forget that day. Having just started taking up running to combat my nervous energy with Mack gone, I’d come in from a jog down Beacon Street when there was a knock at the door.

When I opened, Mack was standing there carrying only a small bag and no suitcase.

“Mack. What are you doing here?”

When I hugged him, his body went rigid. His eyes were sunken in and tired. What happened to the charismatic, confident guy who’d left me with so much hope? He looked sadder than I’d ever seen him, like death warmed over.

An overwhelming feeling of dread washed over me.

Mack sat down and just shook his head without saying anything.

My chest tightened.

When he finally looked up at me, the hint of wetness forming in his eyes confirmed my worst fears.





“I remember not wanting you to even touch me that day. You hugged me, and I couldn’t bear to let myself feel it. It was too f*cking painful.”

Frankie hadn’t moved from her spot by my bay window. Leaning against the ledge beneath it, she seemed lost in thought before she said, “I swear to God, Mack. That was the last thing I ever expected you to tell me when you walked in the door that day.”

My chest constricted just thinking about it. “You and me both. I didn’t handle it well. I was still in such shock when I came to you. It was impossible to express how devastated I was. It seemed like a bad dream. I was just…numb.”

“I remember. I’d never seen you like that.”

“Torrie and I hadn’t had sex in about two months by the time I went back to D.C. that summer. I’d made up excuses the last couple of trips before that. It was pathetic, but there came a certain point when it felt wrong. I knew in my heart that I was going to end things with her because my feelings for you were too strong to contain anymore. I just hadn’t garnered the courage until the end of the semester came. By that time, I was more sure than ever of what I wanted.”

“To be honest, I don’t even clearly remember what you said to me that day. As soon as the word pregnant came out of your mouth, everything else just seemed like a blur.”

“When she told me she was three months along…it just seemed impossible, even though it technically wasn’t. She’d been on birth control, but I never should’ve trusted it.”

“You don’t think she planned it, do you?”

Shaking my head as I stared down at my rug, I said, “I honestly don’t know. I know she sensed me changing. She likely sensed I was going to end it. I don’t like to think that she would’ve done something like that on purpose, but honestly, Frankie, I’ll never know, because she’d never admit to it if she did.”

“I hope she didn’t.” Frankie stared out blankly at some kids riding their bikes on my street before she asked, “I can’t even imagine what things were like for you during those months, Mack.”

The fact that she was thinking about my feelings in that moment despite how much I’d hurt her really spoke to the type of person she was.

After I’d told Frankie about the pregnancy on that fateful day, I returned to D.C. and sent for the rest of my stuff. I’d also transferred to American University’s graduate program soon after.

“I was basically just existing. I wasn’t ready for a child. I wasn’t in love with Torrie. It felt like all of the happiness had been drained from my life. All I wanted was to be back in Boston with you. But I just didn’t see how that could’ve possibly worked. I knew my father would’ve made your life a living hell. In his eyes, my having an illegitimate child was bad enough, let alone abandoning the mother for another woman. His precious reputation would have been on the line, and Michael Morrison is not a good person, especially when his personal interests are being threatened. I didn’t want him anywhere near you. But even knowing all of that, I still constantly second-guessed my decision to leave you behind.”

Frankie appeared deep in thought then said, “I wouldn’t have been able to be with you then. I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t have handled it. You made the right decision.”

Hearing her say that meant more to me than she could have known.

“I also worried you would never respect me if I did anything other than own up to my responsibilities, especially given what happened with your father. So, I felt like I only had one option and that was to let you go.”