Mack Daddy(15)

“I assumed we would never see each other again. You being back here has turned my world upside down.”

Hearing the pain in her voice made me take a deep breath before attempting to explain things to her.

“When Torrie got the job in Boston…knowing that I could move closer to you again—to have you meet my son—it seemed like a gift. Everything just fell into place. It felt like oxygen had returned to my body for the first time in years. This was an opportunity I couldn’t let pass me by. I know what I did by getting him into your class was extreme.”

“You think?” she said sarcastically.

“I just want to know you again, Frankie. I want him to know you. I swear to God, I didn’t mean to turn your world upside down. If you’re happy, I swear on my son’s life, that makes me happy. I just don’t want you to spend another day hating me for leaving.”

“I don’t hate you, Mack. I may have been very upset for a long time, but I never hated you.”

It was such a relief to hear her say that, because I’d often wondered.

I reached over and took her hand in mine. I didn’t care if it was a bold move. I needed to touch her. Then, I moved her hand and placed it over my heart. “You feel that?” I asked. “Feel how it’s beating for you right now. Every time I even allow myself to think about you, it beats like this. And I don’t know how to make it stop.”

She kept her hand over it for at least a full minute. My heart continued to beat even faster into her palm the longer she kept it on me.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” she whispered.

There was only one answer.

“Just believe what it’s telling you.”

She stayed silent and eventually pulled her hand away. I knew I was having an effect on her. I knew she still had feelings for me, but I also knew that I wasn’t going to be able to convince her with words to give me a second chance. It would have to be done through actions. And it was going to take time. But nothing was guaranteed.

“I didn’t come to mess up your life, but you asked why I’m here. Here’s the honest answer: I’m here for you, Frankie. I’m here to finish what I started years ago. If you honestly love him, then I promise I will accept that. I’ll try to move on. But until you look me in the eyes and tell me there’s no chance, I’m gonna hold out hope.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just have this coffee with me. Talk to me. Be my friend again, even if it’s nothing more. We’ll just take this one moment at a time.”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “Okay.”

It felt like a massive weight lifted when she agreed.

Despite the tense start to our coffee date, the rest of the time spent at the café was pretty stress free. Frankie updated me on Jonah’s progress in class, and I filled her in on my job. She and I even managed to laugh a little and reminisce. We also made plans to have me come in and volunteer in the classroom again soon, since the last time seemed to be a big hit. The coffee date that had started out as an emotional mess ended on a fairly calm note.

She eventually left to go home to her boyfriend, taking an even bigger chunk of my heart with her this time.





The following Sunday, I was driving Jonah back to his mother’s after the weekend at my place. As usual, he’d been pretty quiet during his stay with me, wanting mostly to stay home and play with some new apps I’d put on his tablet.

I’d forced him to go out to eat and to read with me at night, but he never seemed fully happy with anything. He didn’t want friends over, and that made it even harder to occupy his time.

I found myself giving into him more and more lately to compensate for my not being there every day. Between my moving out and then our moving out of state, it was a lot for him to handle.

It seemed that no matter how confident of a person I’d always thought I was, when it came to my son, I often felt helpless, like I didn’t know shit and couldn’t do anything right.

We were driving down Route Nine when I noticed him looking pretty sullen as he gazed out the window of the backseat.

“Jonah…everything okay? Aren’t you looking forward to seeing your mother?”

As was typical, when I asked him anything about his feelings, he just shrugged his shoulders.

Looking at him through the rearview mirror, I said, “Well, I know she missed you. She always does.”

My chest felt tight during the rest of the ride. My son was a way more sensitive kid than I ever was. Even though my parents didn’t have the best marriage and were rarely around my sister and me, I somehow just accepted it. Jonah knew better, and more than that, he deserved better. I wanted to give him a better childhood than I’d had. Lately, it seemed like I’d failed miserably at that, even though I was trying my ass off to make him happy.

When we pulled up to Torrie’s brick-faced house, I happened to notice a second car parked in her driveway.

After she opened the door, I could smell a hint of wine on her breath as she said, “You weren’t supposed to be here for another half-hour.”

“Well, Jonah left his Kindle charger here. He asked me if we could leave a little early. Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not. Why would it be a problem?”