MacKenzie Fire(69)

I swallow with effort, the feeling inside me difficult to understand. It hurts way too much. “That’s why he’s so messed up over Ginny, is that what you’re saying?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Not at all. He never felt that way about her.”

I look over to see if he’s joking, but he seems serious. “I find that hard to believe. They were together forever.”

“Yeah, but Ian wasn’t there. The real Ian was never there with her. He was always acting like the guy he thought she wanted him to be.”

“The architect,” I say.

“Exactly. Did he ever tell you that it was her idea?”

“What?”

“Yeah. She was with him in high school. She controlled his class schedule, told him she thought he was suited to drawing buildings and stuff. She always wanted to leave this place.” He sighs. “Called it a hick town.”

“She sounds like a manipulative bitch.”

Mack sighs. “He was her way out. I can’t blame her for seeing her opportunity and taking it. I just wish it wasn’t on my brother’s back.”

“But she’s still here. I’m sorry, Mack, but this makes no sense to me. This isn’t the eighteen hundreds. If Ginny wanted to leave, she could easily do that. And you’re telling me Ian was a pushover? I don’t think so. He’s totally bullheaded.”

“Ian may be bullheaded on the surface, but when he’s with a girl, he’s different, focused on making her happy. That’s what we were taught by our father so that’s just how we do things. The reason Ginny’s still here is she hasn’t found someone to hitch her wagon to yet that’s leaving. But she will someday, believe me. She wasn’t meant for this place.”

The idea of Ian being putty in my hands when to everyone else he’s a pigheaded jerk has enough appeal that I’m starting to think about his Wranglers again and seeing them in a pile on the floor. It’s that bad-boy syndrome thing again. Argh, I totally hate my hormones sometimes.

“What was that like when Ginny made a move on you?” The question just pops out of my mouth without any warning, but now that it’s out there, I’m curious enough to hear the answer that I don’t correct myself and withdraw the question.

“Awful. Terrible.” Mack’s hands squeeze the steering wheel so hard his veins pop out. “One of the worst days of my life, actually.”

“Why?” It’s kind of fascinating how worked up he is over it, even after all this time. Most guys are flattered when a girl goes for it, even if it is inappropriate … sometimes more so when it is.

“Because it was so wrong. I knew as soon as it happened that it would destroy my brother. And I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t even see it coming. I keep thinking maybe I should have, and if I had, I could have stopped it.”

That answer annoys me. “So essentially it’s your fault that Ian’s life is destroyed.” More of this enabler stuff. No wonder Ian’s so messed up.

Mack takes a while to answer. “No, not exactly.” He looks at me, his expression serious and possibly tortured. “Haven’t you ever made a huge mistake in judgment, not seen something coming to be able to stop it, and lived to regret it? Seen someone’s life changed, irreparably changed, and known that you had a hand in it?”

I think on that for a while before I answer. “No, I haven’t. But I can imagine that it would suck.”

He nods, back to looking at the road. “Yeah. It sucks, that’s a fact.”

I’m so confused. I wanted to be over Ian and not caring about his life, but now Mack has me thinking about him again, wondering about how the course of events in Mack’s word altered Ian’s life so drastically. Little things became big things and what was wrong became both right and then wrong at the same time. No wonder Ian doesn’t know up from down or in from out. I’d be dizzy too if I were him. There’s not just enabling going on here. There’s guilt and blame and … love.

I look at Mack and my heart kind of melts over how upset he is. He really loves his brother a lot. It makes me wish I had a big brother like him.

“You’re a good guy, Mack. I’m glad you and Andie found each other.”

“I thank God every day that he put her in my path.”

I laugh. “Even though you got doused with a cocktail?”

He laughs with me. “Yeah, even though. I still have that shirt, you know. Haven’t washed it.”

“I don’t know whether to find that charming or disturbing.”

“Andie says it’s charming.”

“She would.” I say that as if I’m insulting her, but really I’m just jealous. Every girl should have a guy like Mack saving their dirty shirts for the memories they hold.

The truck goes silent until we’re nearly back at the ranch.

“So when do we start the plan?” Mack asks as we pass through the archway leading into the ranch property.

“What plan?”

“The plan to get Ian back on track.”

My heart skips a beat as I imagine my role in that whole scenario. “Whenever you want, I guess. I’m not going to be a part of it. I’m leaving in less than two weeks.”

Mack slows to a stop and puts the truck in Park. He looks at me, leaving the engine running. “It won’t work without you, Candice.”