MacKenzie Fire(56)

A great big smile breaks out over my face.

“You’re smiling,” Ian says. He sounds worried.

“Yes, Ian, I am.”

“I’m a little scared.”

I keep staring out into the stable. “You should be.”

“Really?”

Without warning, I dive to the side, effectively tackling him into the straw. My burrito goes flying. “Yes! Really!”

The baby cow jumps up on wobbly legs and runs to the far corner.

I’m on top of Ian, staring down into his surprised face.

A few seconds later, a weird smell comes wafting up into my nose.

Ian’s expression goes dead.

“What’s that smell?” I ask.

Ian closes his eyes. “Can you let me up? I think I’m lying in cow shit.”





Chapter Twenty-Four





I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING ALL the way to the house. The back of Ian’s head is covered in cow poo. And I thought my hair was bad with some loogies and a burrito bean in it.

“Don’t say it,” he warns as he goes up the front steps.

I’m gasping for air, bent over as I hold my stomach. Oh, it hurts so much. I can’t stop laughing.

“I’m hitting the shower.” He throws open the front door and drops his jacket on the ground just inside the entrance. “Don’t flush any toilets while I’m in there.”

I pause in the foyer, my laughter drying up with the confusion of his statement. “What?”

He clomps up the stairs. “Don’t flush any toilets while I’m in the shower.”

“Why not?” I yell up after him.

The door to the bathroom slams shut without him giving me a response.

I wander into the downstairs powder room to check my face and hair. That was my first mistake.

I stare in horror at the image reflected back at me. I can honestly say that I have never looked so bad in my entire life, even after once getting wasted back in college and ending up at some guy’s house whose name I couldn’t remember, waking up with my face pressed into his living room carpet. That was a bad day, but this is a worse than bad day.

I lean in to get a closer look and then just as quickly back up. Oh. My. God. I’ve spontaneously wrinkled out here on this ranch! I look ten years older!

Maybe it’s the clothes. Maybe it’s the food.

I hold my stomach as it turns over and grumbles. That burrito is not going down well. Nature is calling.

I sit down on the toilet and think back on my day as I take care of business. My stomach continues to express its discontent as I wander through my memories. I’m really glad it’s just Ian and me here in the house. I’m making a lot of noise in this little room. Wow.

Ian and I did chores together. He came to get me this morning so I would do them with him. He wanted to show me baby cows and stuff. That was probably a big hassle for him to do that. Was he just being polite? I doubt it. It seems like something a guy would do if he liked a girl. Does Ian like me?

Or maybe he just wants to make fun of me, laugh at all the times I fall down on my ass and make a fool of myself. And he has laughed, that’s for sure. The jerk probably has sore abs from all the gut-busting he’s been doing. But he’s also been really nice and even polite sometimes. He said I’m not like he expected me to be. I can’t be sure, but I think he meant it as a compliment. That’s a good sign, right?

There’s always the chance that he could just be trying to get in my pants. He’s being creative about it, I’ll give him that. I can honestly say that I’ve never had a guy try to woo me by having me take part in a cow birth. The best I’ve ever had prior to this was a date at the zoo followed by a candlelight dinner. At the time I thought that was pretty creative, but it pales in comparison to this day.

That’s when it hits me. My god, I have a baby cow to take care of! How often does she eat? What exactly does she eat? I need to get Googling!

I finish up using copious amounts of two-ply, and stand, pulling my elastic granny pants up to my waist. I need to find out how often Candy needs to be fed and what goes in that bottle. Will I have to sleep out in the barn tonight? No one but Ian is home. I need to go ask him and figure out how I’m going to do all this and keep up with my social schedule, visiting with Andie and going to Boog’s party and all that.

I flush the toilet and leave the bathroom after washing my hands. I’m not two steps into the hallway when a loud roaring comes from upstairs.

I take the stairs two at a time. It sounds like Ian is dying up there.

“What’s wrong?!” I shout at the top of the stairs. When I reach the bathroom door I pound on it. “Are you okay?!

“I told you not to f*cking flush the toilet!”

I bite my lip as his meaning sinks in. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Don’t act like you didn’t do that on purpose!”

He’s really mad. It kind of makes me angry that he’s so mad.

“I didn’t!”

“Liar!”

“I’m not a liar.”

“Yes, you are. You’re a damn liar. You flushed on purpose to freeze me out. Probably trying to see me naked or something, thinking I’ll come running out of here.”

My eyes narrow as I picture him standing there accusing me of something I didn’t do. And seeing him naked kind of sounds like a good idea.