MacKenzie Fire(28)

“No, it wasn’t any of that. And it was both of us, I guess, not just her or me.”

“What are some things you overlooked?” I ask. I’m on the edge of my seat, knowing I’m about to get some juicy stuff.

“I don’t know.”

“Sure you do. Tell me. I swear I’ll keep your secrets.”

He opens one eye and stares at me with it. “You expect me to believe that?”

“Of course. My brain is a steel trap. Nothing gets out until I release it, and I don’t release things unless I have permission.”

“You? You’re the grand repository of secrets?” He closes his eye and then he kind of snorts. I think it was a snort. Or maybe he has allergies.

“Exactly. That’s my brain. So tell me.”

He sighs loudly and lets his head wobble from left to right a few times before he starts talking again.

“Well, I guess I overlooked the fact that she wasn’t entirely happy with having me as a husband.”

“That’s kind of a big one.”

He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. “You’re telling me.”

“What else?” I prompt. I’ve got him on a roll now.

“She overlooked the fact that I didn’t like Hawaii.” He sounds particularly bitter about that one, especially when he scowls at the ceiling.

I try to figure out how Hawaii could be connected, but I give up pretty quickly. I don’t want him falling asleep on me while I try to decode his messages. “Um … confusing?”

He talks and sighs at the same time. “She wanted to go to Hawaii for a honeymoon. I had no interest in that, but it didn’t matter. We did whatever Ginny wanted to do, always. She was the leader of the show.”

“There always has to be a leader, you know,” I say, knowing I could never be content to follow some guy around like a lap dog. That’s why I’m never going to Abu Dhabi. If I had to walk five paces behind some guy all day, I’d for sure be giving him flat tires all the time on purpose. That would probably end in divorce or a public flogging or a stoning or something. Nah. I’m definitely not cut out for that following mindlessly stuff. Plus I’d have to wear one of those all over body robes and cover up my gorgeous hair and adorable outfits. Talk about a waste of effort.

“Yeah, I get that,” Ian says, sitting up in his chair a little but still slouching, “but it doesn’t always have to be the same person being out front, you know?” He looks at me. “It shouldn’t always be the same person. Once in a while you gotta let the other person call the shots, have the final say. Otherwise …” he shrugs, “…they get lost.”

“What do you mean, they get lost?”

Now he’s gesturing with his hands as he speaks. It’s like he has an invisible audience out in the waiting room in front of us, but it’s still just me in here. I can’t believe how animated he’s become.

“See, being the decision maker puts you out front and the other person behind, right? And some people are okay with being back there in the shadows, but most people aren’t. They need some time to shine too. But you put someone who doesn’t want to be in the shadows too much, they start to lose a part of themselves.” His face twists into something bitter. “I lost myself somewhere along the way with Ginny and I don’t know that I’ll ever get him back.”

“Wow. That sounds massively depressing.”

He laughs once as he stares at the ground. “Tell me about it.” He rubs his hands together, as if he’s trying to get a cramp out of his muscles that will never go away.

I can’t believe a big, strong, smart guy like him is so messed up over something so not a big deal. People break up all the time. Since when does it mean someone died?

I’m so disappointed in his pee-poor attitude. Why has everyone let him go on like this for so long? I can’t stop my judgment from flying out of my mouth. “It also sounds like a bunch of bull crap to me.”

His head twists sharply to the left so he can glare at me.

“How long has it been?” I ask, already knowing the answer. “Three years or so? I mean, come on … six months is the longest anyone would need to get over that. It’s not like anyone died or anything.”

His jaw that was slowly falling open as I spoke, slaps shut. Then he says, “Are you kidding me?”

“No, why would I do that? Obviously you two weren’t meant to be together. Your breakup was a good thing. Seriously. You’ve been hosting this pity party for waaaay too long, Ian. Time to cowboy up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

He leans way back away from me. “You know what? You can just shut up right now. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“I can see that, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shut up about it.” He stands, heading for the door.

“Running away when things get difficult?” I ask, challenging him.

“More like getting away from a damn harpy who doesn’t know when to mind her own business.”

When he’s almost to the exit, I sigh loudly so he’ll hear. “Good thing Ginny got rid of you when she did, I guess. No one wants a big cry baby for a husband anyway.”

He spins around and faces me. “Did you just call me a cry baby?”